


Izzie and the New Kid

by ladstars



Category: Atypical (TV 2017)
Genre: Cazzie, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:35:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 63,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28860417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladstars/pseuds/ladstars
Summary: A story based on and around Izzie's character. Including Izzie's home life. Adding to scenes from the show and adding brand new scenes that fill in the gaps in Izzie's story. From Izzie's prespective.
Relationships: Casey Gardner/Izzie, Evan Chapin/Casey Gardner
Comments: 25
Kudos: 76





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I recently watched Atypical. The show is great. All of it. (well, I could do without the parent’s storyline but I understand that it’s part of the family dynamic and journey.) Why I waited so long to watch it, I don’t know. It had been in my Netflix list for years(?). At least a year. I just never got around to it.
> 
> Izzie's family - Isabella age 16, Olivia age 10, Elijah age 7, and the baby Anastasia nearly 2 (who has a different father from all the others). 
> 
> This starts from episode 2-2. When Casey arrives at Clayton. The words in italics are Izzie's thoughts. And the bold words are text messages.

She’s pissed that Crowley is making her show the new kid around. Izzie doesn’t want to do it. She’s known she was coming since before the holiday break. It was the last thing Crowley told her before she left school. It’s one of the only things Izzie has thought about the entire break.

She knows about the new kid. Everyone on the track team knows about the new kid. Every girl on a track team in the region knows about the new kid. Because she’s that good. A superstar. Or at least, a potential superstar. And that’s bad news for Izzie. She’s the shining star on her track team. That’s the only reason she’s at Clayton. Crowley plucked her out of her local high school early her freshman year after seeing her in an invitational.

Izzie knows that the new kid is going to come in and try to take the top spot on the team from her. Sure, she’s the captain but it’s entirely possible that the new kid is a better runner than she is. That unnerves Izzie. That’s the one thing she’s good at. The one thing she’s got going for herself. So, the new kid is a threat to all that.

She sees her standing there, looking around awkwardly, not knowing where to go or what to do. Izzie knows that feeling. She was once the new kid at Clayton.

The new kid is tall and skinny. Not only is she awkward because of the unfamiliar surroundings she also just looks awkward in general. Izzie thinks the new kid probably isn’t used to the uniform either. That was one thing that Izzie hated when she started at Clayton. She had to wear a uniform nearly every day at school and couldn’t express herself with what she wore. Also, she thinks the skirts they have to wear are itchy.

Izzie finally goes over, approaching from behind. A sneak attack. She taps the new kid on the shoulder. She turns around. “Hey.” Izzie tries not to look like too much of a bitch but just enough to put the new kid in her place. To let her know that she is the captain and not to be messed with.

“Hi, you’re Izzie, right?”

_Duh._

Izzie looks at her as she stutters out her words.

“I’m Casey, I’m the-“

Izzie has to look away and hold her tongue from saying anything too mean to the new kid.

“Sorry, you know that. I’m like super nervous.” Casey stutters about in front of her. “I’m the new kid from Newton.”

Izzie knows all this. She nods firmly and sets the rules. “Look, new kid from Newton.”

_How annoying does that sound?_

“Casey, is my name.”

_Did she just correct me?_

Izzie puts this new kid in their place. “I’m sure you were hot shit at your last crappy school but over here-“

“Wow, warm welcome.” There’s some sarcasm there.

_She even has the gall to interrupt me._

“They should put you in the orientation video.”

_Okay, so she’s funny._

“But I’ve heard about you.” Izzie doesn’t want any crap from this new kid.

“Good things?”

“You punched a girl in the face and got suspended. So, no.” Izzie can’t believe the audacity of this chick. “I worked my ass off to build this team and we don’t need any drama.” Shit like punching people in the face isn’t going to be tolerated by Izzie or anyone else at this school.

That seems to take Casey down a peg. “I don’t want any drama either. I’m-“

“Don’t care.” Izzie is done. “Just handle yourself.” She warns Casey and steps past her.

“Um- Coach said that you were going to show me around.”

Izzie turns back around. This kid doesn’t quit. She points to the building. “Classes are in there.” Izzie walks away. There’s no way she’s showing around the new kid. She’s got better things to do.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Hi.”

Izzie hears that annoying voice from this morning before she sees the person it belongs to. She looks up as Casey jogs down the stairs. Izzie and the rest of the team are in the middle of stretching before their run. She eyes Casey up.

“You look tired, Newton. Tough day?” Izzie knows it probably was, especially since she didn’t show Casey around.

“No.” Casey gets into a stretch. “It’s been great.”

Izzie knows that’s not true. “Find your way around alright?” She challenges.

“Yeah.” Casey smirks at Izzie. It doesn’t go unnoticed. “Actually, this super helpful girl showed me around.”

Izzie just stares at her with a little light shake of the head. She really is going to be my competition.

She listens to the girl strike up a conversation with Casey. They mention Casey’s shoes and Izzie can’t help but look over at Casey’s shoes. She looks up and eyes Casey again. There’s something different about her.

Izzie doesn’t have much in common with the girl on the track team. She mostly pretends that she can relate but she can’t. They all talk about their fancy vacations and trips and cars and clothes. Izzie feels like she can barely keep her head afloat with them most of the time. But she notices Casey’s shoes. They aren’t rich kid shoes. She knows that.

Izzie didn’t think Casey was a rich kid but she doesn’t know her so she could be anywhere on the socioeconomic scale.

They ask Casey what she did for break. When she replies that she went to Target the girls laugh but Izzie doesn’t. She knows it’s not a joke that Casey was telling. She watches Casey’s awkwardness at the laughter. Narrowing her eyes at Casey, glancing at her shoes again, Izzie tries to put it all together. Izzie watches her main threat run away, thinking maybe a little differently about the girl than she did that morning.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Izzie goes home after track practice. Her mom is passed out on the couch, which isn’t unusual.

“Have you had anything to eat yet?” She asks her brother and sister, knowingly they likely haven’t.

Izzie’s mother is mostly harmless. She’s usually high or passed out on the couch, at work, or somewhere else that Izzie doesn’t want to know about. She’s not home most of the time.

Izzie looks in the cupboard to see what they have. There’s not a lot left from their last shopping trip. She wishes they could eat better. She knows it would help her track times. And she knows kids need food to focus and do well in school. But they can’t afford to buy fruits and vegetables most of the time. Most of their food comes from a box or is frozen. For affordability and convenience. Izzie doesn’t have hours to cook elaborate meals for them to eat, either.

She pulls a generic brand Mac and Cheese from the cupboard.

“I don’t want mac n cheese again.” Elijah whines when he sees the box.

“Sorry buddy. Someone’s gotta go shopping.” Izzie puts it on her list of things that need to get done this weekend. Before she can go to the store, she’ll have to pull some money from her mother. Izzie starts on the food. “Did you do your homework?”

“Yeah.” Elijah says.

“Did you need help with anything?”

“No.”

“What about you Olivia?”

Olivia is sitting on the living room floor next to the baby who is standing in her play pen. “No, I got it all done.”

“Good.” Izzie has to do her own homework. She doesn’t have to worry about helping with the kids homework first which is good. They are good kids. And they do their homework most of the time without her having to ask.

She feels bad for them because they are so grown up for their ages and don’t get the usual experience of most kids. But Izzie does her best to make sure they are fed and that they get to school and are taken care of.

Izzie works on putting baby Anastasia to bed, which is usually the hardest part of the evening. But eventually she goes to sleep. The other two have brushed their teeth and put on their pajamas and are in bed with Izzie goes into their bedroom. The three of them share one bedroom. Their mom and the baby have the other bedroom of their two bedroom apartment.

“Let’s go.” Izzie encourages.

The pair were playing on the floor with some race cars. Olivia climbs into the top bunk of the bunk beds she shares with Elijah. He has the bottom bunk; which Izzie sits on after he slips under the covers. She tucks him in around his body. He likes to be tucked into bed nice and tight.

“How was your day?” Izzie asks. She treats her brother and sisters how she wasn’t treated when she was younger. She asks about their days and how they are feeling almost on a daily basis. Checking in with them, making sure they are alright. And making sure that if they have a problem, they will feel comfortable enough to come to her for help.

“Okay. My friend Billy was drinking milk at lunch and I made him laugh and he shot milk out of his nose. It went all over the table and on Tommy across the table from us.” Clearly the highlight of the boy’s day.

“That’s gross. Did you make sure the mess got cleaned up?”

Elijah nods.

“Good.” Izzie gives him a closed lipped smile. She rubs a hand through his dark curly hair. “What about you, Olivia?” She kisses Elijah on the forehead and looks up to the top bunk to where Olivia lies. “How was your day?”

Olivia hums and shrugs. Izzie thinks Olivia is a lot like herself. She keeps things bottled up inside, not wanting to tell anyone about her problems or worries, choosing to deal with it herself. Izzie also worries about Olivia the most. Olivia has seen the most of the three of her siblings. She already knows at ten years old how cruel and hard life can be.

Elijah clears his throat. “How was school?” He’s such a sweet, caring boy. And he’s always interested in how cool Izzie school is. He always wants to know everything that goes on there.

She sighs and sits down on her bed that is across the room from the bunk bed.

The only thing that’s changed at school is that there is a new girl that joined the track team. “There is a new girl on my track team. I was supposed to show her around school today.”

“Supposed to?” Olivia pipes up. At ten, she’s too smart for her own good.

Izzie runs her tongue over the front of her teeth. When they meet outside the school and she saw the infamous Casey Gardner in person she knew that the new girl was a real threat to her spot as the captain and top performer on the team. In that instant, she knew she had to make it known who was in charge.

She sighs, knowing she’s not setting a good example of her siblings. “I didn’t show her around.” Izzie crosses her arms over her chest. “No one showed me around.” That’s how she’s going to justify it. No one showed Izzie around at the school when she first showed up. She had to figure it out all on her own, so she made the new kid do the same.

“You should have showed her around.” Elijah says.

Izzie thinks, now, that maybe she should have.

At practice after school, she got a different view of the new kid. When one of the girls mentioned the new girl’s shoes, Izzie had to look. She looked at her shoes and then eyed the girl up and down as her teammates complained about going to Europe for break. Izzie knows those shoes aren’t ‘old’ by choice for the new girl. That she’s not wearing new running shoes for a reason.

Izzie realized in that moment, and the moment that followed, when the new kid mentioned going to Target, that she wasn’t like the rest of the rich kids at Clayton. And that maybe the new kid is more like her than everybody else at that stupid school.

That doesn’t mean they should be friends though, in Izzie’s opinion. At least, not right away. They are rivals fighting for the top spot on the team. That’s how Izzie is going to see the new kid. So, she stared the new kid down, trying to get a better read on her until she ran off.

“What’s her name?” Elijah asks in a sleepy voice, drifting off to sleep.

She knows she’s going to call her Newton. “Casey.” Izzie gets up. “Goodnight, you two.”

She leaves the room and returns to the kitchen. Izzie throws her backpack down on the circular kitchen table that they have. She pulls out her books and notebooks and starts on her homework. Her phone buzzes in the little pocket of her backpack.

Izzie pulls out the phone to see a text from Nate **.**

**I didn’t hear from you this evening. Wanted to get your thoughts on the new kid, Casey. Goodnight, little lady.**

Izzie rolls her eyes. “Insufferable.”

Everybody’s got to talk about the new kid and it’s already rubbing her the wrong way. First, it was Coach Crowley telling her that she had to show the new kid around. Then it was the new kid, herself. And then, all the girls on the team before, and after, practice gossiping about how much they like the new kid and how they think Casey is so funny. And now Nate. She puts her phone back in her bag and focuses on her homework.

There’s a groan from the couch a few minutes after she’s started in on her homework. Izzie looks over to see her mother peeking her head up over the arm of the couch.

“Isabella?”

Izzie raises an eyebrow and waits.

“What time is it? Where are the kids?”

“They’re in bed, it’s past their bedtime.”

“Then what are you doing up?”

Izzie rolls her eyes. “I have homework to do.”

“Oh. You do that.” Her mother flops back down onto the couch.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Izzie rounds the corner to go to Nate’s locker the next morning. She sees Nate talking to the new kid. She watches the pair for a moment before approaching them.

She sees the new kid smile at Nate. It’s time to put on a show and let everyone know when they stands. Izzie walks over and kisses Nate. “I see you met Newton.” She hangs off his shoulder and watches the not so pleased reaction on Casey’s face at the name Newton.

“I thought your name was Casey?” Nate seems confused.

Izzie doesn’t let that idea fester. She pulls Nate away from his questioning Casey. “Bye, Newton.” She adds another jab.

“What were you doing?” Izzie asks him as they walk to class.

“I was talking to the new kid. Why do you call her Newton? It’s Casey, isn’t it?”

Izzie ignores the question. “Okay, have a good time in Algebra.” She drops him off and heads to her class.

“Why do you call her Newton?” Izzie mumbles under her breath, angry that Nate asked that. Does it matter why? No. Izzie decides that it’s going to have to stick. Newton. Just to antagonize and infuriate the kid new.


	2. Chapter 2

It’s been a whole week with the new kid joining them at Clayton. Izzie has watched her closely everyday at practice. She tells herself that it’s so she can get a good knowledge of just how good Casey is at track. Also, to find out if she should be worried that Casey is going to be the new star and if she’s going to have to watch herself and make sure that Casey isn’t better than her and doesn’t take the head spot. It’s clear now that the rest of the girls on the team are alright with Casey, some even think she’s pretty cool and that she is definitely an asset to the team.

Izzie thinks about what she can do to make Casey look bad. To get the girls to not like her as much. To prove that punching that kid at her old school isn’t the only malicious thing that Casey is capable of.

The problem was it all happened so fast. Izzie trips, on purpose, and falls. Except, she wasn’t supposed to actually get hurt. Her wrist screams as she hits the track surface. She ignores it for the moment.

_Head in the game._

“Oh my god, are you okay?”

Izzie hears the words. She grabs at her wrist. “You pushed me.” This is what she wanted. To make Casey look bad in front of the entire team. The team runs past them seeing Izzie on the ground, hearing the accusation. To make them realize that she’s just a delinquent who doesn’t deserve to be at this school because she has a record of violence.

She sees Crowley running over to them.

But Izzie’s plan backfires as she finds herself in Coach’s office minutes later with the pusher sitting right next to her. Crowley’s badgering them about their conduct. Izzie wonders how this is her fault when Casey is the one who ‘pushed’ her. She thinks about defending herself with words. Saying that she isn’t the one at fault, that she is the victim.

But apparently Coach sees what’s going on here, she’s not going to be able to fool her. Izzie is only half listening. Until…

“You don’t have to love each other, but you have to love each other.” The words come out of Crowley’s mouth.

_Gross._

Izzie’s not going to be buddy-buddy with this Casey person sitting next to her. She scowls. Izzie knows she’s going to have to pretend now, for Crowley’s sake.

Crowley makes it even worse when she says they have to stay in her office until they can work out their differences.

And now she’s stuck here. After school, after practice when she’s supposed to be going home. She sighs. She’s going to have to call and make sure the neighbor can watch little Anastasia longer than usual today.

Ice pack now on her wrist. It does still hurt. “I need to make a phone call, but someone pushed me. So now I can’t use my wrist.” She makes sure that Casey knows she’s hurt and that she pushed her. Izzie is going to go down saying that Casey pushed her if it comes to it.

She also uses this opportunity to mess Casey about some more.

“I didn’t push you; I was nowhere near you.” Casey claims. They are never going to see eye to eye on this matter if each continues to claim what they claim.

“Whatever.” She doesn’t want to hear it anymore. Izzie is just concerned about her siblings and getting out of here. “Can you just hand me my phone out of my backpack, please?” Izzie scowls some more. She hates that she just said please. Why is she being polite?

She shakes her head when Casey claims again that she didn’t push her.

Izzie wishes she could make her phone call in private, but they are stuck in this stupid room together. She makes the call knowing it’s going to bring up more questions.

And sure enough. “Baby? Do you have a kid?”

Izzie rolls her eyes before turning to Casey. “Of course not. I’m not a moron. My mother is.” She wishes she didn’t have to even say anything about this to Casey, or anyone else for that matter. Her teammates now she has three siblings, but they don’t know that she takes care of them most of the time because of her absent mother.

“Hey, mine too.” Casey says sarcastically.

“Not that it’s any of your business.” She needs Casey to know that. But since they are stuck here together and Casey’s likely going to ask more questions. “But I take care of my three siblings.” Izzie shifts in the chair, uncomfortable revealing that information with the new kid.

“You do?”

“Yeah.” She looks down. Izzie can feel Casey’s presence behind her, lurking.

“So, you’re not a bazillionaire?” Casey deducts.

Izzie knows Casey isn’t stupid, she’s witty, she’s quick, so she not surprised that she’s figured it out. “Not yet.”

Casey comes back to sit in the chair next to her. “My brother has autism.” Instead, Izzie is surprised that Casey goes to sit on Crowley’s desk. Casey looks over at here, facing each other. “So, I’m, like, constantly looking out for him.”

Something they have in common. Well, two things now. Not rich and have siblings they look after. Izzie finally looks over at Casey. “I didn’t know that.” Izzie knows that her looking after her siblings and Casey looking after her brother are on different levels but it’s still something they have in common.

“Dude, how would you know that? You, like, barely talk to me.” Casey accuses.

_Dude?_

Izzie wonders if Casey calls everyone dude. She scoffs. “I talk to you. I just say mean things.” She laughs at her own joke. She hears Casey chuckle along.

And then it’s awkward. The ice has been broken but now what.

Thankfully, Casey says something. “Ya know, you are not what I expected.”

Izzie looks at Casey, unguarded now. “Well, I’m not like the other girls.” It’s true. Izzie knows she’s different. She doesn’t fit in, really, at this school. So, she pretends. She shakes her head. “I don’t get to mess up.” She knows the standards are far higher for her than they are for everyone else at this school. She knows if she messes up, that’s it. No more scholarship, she’s done at Clayton.

Izzie doesn’t get the benefit of being a rich kid. She doesn’t have anything to fall back on. She tells Casey about their teammates and how they have the benefit of being rich and having virtually no consequences to their actions.

“But for me. This school. What I do here. It matters.” Izzie shrugs. And since they are sharing with each other. “I feel like I have to be perfect all the time. And it’s exhausting.” And the thing is, Izzie thinks Casey will get it. She knows she’ll get it. They are in the same boat. Both on scholarship and they wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the fact that they can run fast.

If the look she sees on Casey’s face doesn’t confirm it her words do.

“Is that why you were such a dick to me?”

Casey gets it. Finally, someone who gets it. “Probably.” Izzie shrugs. “Or I might just be a dick.”

She always feels like she is living two lives. This perfect life that she has to show off at school. Be the popular girl, be on the track team, but be mean to anyone who might threaten that status.

They laugh both knowing now that yes, Izzie can be a dick, but she isn’t most of the time.

The energy in the room shifts, becomes more relaxed.

Izzie turns her chair around to face the couch.

Casey starts talking about her brother again. She tells Izzie that he is older than her by two years and that his name is Sam. “He still goes to Newton. Where I’m from.”

“I know where you’re from, Newton.” Izzie says around a smile.

Casey rolls her eyes. “Do you still have to call me that? We’re friends now, right?”

Izzie hums. “Yes, I still have to call you that. What will the other girls think if I start calling you by your name?” She raises an eyebrow. “And I don’t know about the friends part. I’m still not convinced you’re not here to overthrow me as track captain.”

Casey surrenders, putting her hands in the air. She slumps down on the couch, resting against the armrest instead of the back of the couch, more comfortable and more relaxed now.

They talk about their boyfriends because that’s what girls are supposed to talk about, right.

“So, how did you and Nate get together?” Casey seems interested.

Izzie hates this story. She shrugs. “We have Biology together. We are dissecting pigs and I had mine in the little tray and was walking back to my sit and tripped and slipped my pig, guts and all on his designer backpack. He hated me for like two weeks even though I’d offered to pay for a new one.”

“Do you just make enemies with everyone you come into contact with at first?” Casey jokes.

Izzie rolls her eyes. “Funny. But then he told me how much a new one was and I told him I couldn’t afford that. So, he suggested we compromise and that I go out on a date with him.”

“Really?”

Izzie frowns. “Yeah. Great story, right?” She rolls her eyes.

Casey laughs.

“What about you and your boyfriend?”

“Oh.” Casey seems taken aback at the question. “It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time, Newton.” Izzie smiles. She wants to hear this. They are stuck here.

“Well, ya know when we met?” Casey looks around the room nervously.

Izzie furrows her brow. “Yeah, it was only a few days ago.”

“Right. Anyway, you said that you heard I punched a girl and got suspended.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, the girl I punched wrote a nasty word on this other girl’s locker. And everyone was standing around and laughing at the girl. And the girl that wrote the nasty word, she’s the one I punched in the face. And then the girl’s locker it belonged to baked me a cake. Even though I didn’t know her and we aren’t even friends. Anyway, she brought it over to my house. And her brother drove her over. And her brother is Evan.”

Izzie is impressed. “So, you were standing up to some bully?”

“Yeah.” Casey says nervously.

“For a girl you didn’t know and weren’t friends with?”

“Correct.”

“Wow, Newton.” Izzie is impressed.

Casey rolls her head to the side. It’s not that big of a deal to her.

“And that’s how you met Evan. Way better than my story.”

Casey hums. “Yeah, Evan is sweet, and kind, and funny, he’s sensitive and he’s always there for me. He’s a good guy.”

“Nate isn’t.” Izzie scowls. “I mean sure if I need help with something I can ask him but he never offers to give me a ride or anything like that. He’s a rich kid.”

Izzie notices the shift. She lets herself relax too. In fact, it’s probably the first time she’s been able to relax while being in this school. She listens as Casey tells a story about a guy who runs 100 miles at a time. She thinks he’s probably insane and that it’s a huge waste of time. But she enjoys this. Just sitting here and talking with no pressure to be perfect or someone she’s not. Izzie also enjoys the sound of Casey’s voice and the way she tells stories. A little bit serious and a little bit of goofiness all rolled into one. Izzie also wants to know more about the way Casey thinks. Like what does she think about the story. Is it ridiculous to her too?

“That kind of freedom.” Casey picks at her fingers, awkward. Izzie thinks about what it might be like to have that kind of freedom. “But now, I don’t know.”

_What?_

Izzie zoned out taking in the way Casey is laying on the couch so relaxed.

She sees Casey closing in on herself. Shutting down. Worried about something. “What do you mean?”

“I think it was dumb to think I could ever leave here.” Casey says with reflection. “Sam and my dad, they need me. I used to want to get as far away from this place as possible. But, now, I’m not really sure that I ever will.”

Izzie is screaming internally. She feels the same way. She wants to get away from this town and the people in it as soon as she’s done with high school. That same doubt is in her as well though. Her siblings need her. What would they do if she was gone? Someone has to look out for them. And that someone is Izzie.

“Screw that. I’ll be right back.” Izzie has an idea how to make this situation better. Well, maybe not better but less of a drag. She bursts up from her chair and leaves the room.

Izzie walks the halls of the empty school. There are a few teachers milling about but no students. It’s getting further into the evening and most everyone has gone home for the day.

She gets to Quinn’s locker. She knows the combination, because they are besties, so it doesn’t take more than a few seconds to bust into her locker and swipe the vodka. She knows Quinn will freak out when she notices that it’s missing but maybe Izzie can get to her before she notices to let her know she ‘borrowed’ it.

With confidence, Izzie marches back to Crowley’s office. She looks around before entering. There really is no one around. There’s nothing holding them here. They could leave if they wanted. Izzie looks down at the bottle in her hand and looks left and right once more. No one. She makes her decision and pushes the door open.

“I’m tired of trying to be perfect all the time.” Izzie knows this could get them in trouble. That’s why she’s doing it. But she also knows that there is no one around so no witnesses. She’s putting her trust in Casey that she won’t blab to anyone and get them in trouble. “How about for once we stop caring about everyone else?” She reveals the bottle from behind her back. “I raided Quinn’s locker.”

Izzie gets the mug from Crowley’s desk and pours some in it and then brings it over to Casey, sitting opposite her on the couch, each on one end.

The more they drink the looser they feel.

“My brother and sisters are great kids. Well, I don’t know about the little one.” Izzie giggles. “She’s too little yet to tell. She could be a total heathen and we just don’t know it yet.” She thinks about getting home to them soon. She really should go. She can’t sit here all night talking with Casey. Izzie takes another drink. “My mother, ugh, she’s the worst.”

“Same.” Casey raises her mug at that.

“She hasn’t always been terrible. When I was younger, she was really put together and fun.” She glances over at Casey, to make sure she follows. She doesn’t want to have to explain further. Casey nods along but Izzie knows what that glassy eyed look on Casey means. Casey might not remember this tomorrow, so she continues, not worried about what she says. “Then my dad left. And she had an injury at work and started taking pain killers. It just spiraled from there.” Izzie looks at the bottle in her hand. Enough of the sob story. “Anyways, it’s like my life goal to be nothing like her.”

“Oh my god, dude, me to.” Casey raises her mug. “Cheers.”

Izzie knows she should stop this little party they are having. She knows that Casey is far more gone than she is. She wasn’t going to let herself go completely. Even though she said She was tired of being perfect all the time there is still that pressure and that tiny voice in the back of her mind that says, ‘don’t screw this up, Izzie’.

But this was good. To let her guard down a little. To get to know her rival better. Izzie isn’t sure that she’ll be able to call Casey her rival after today though.

She laughs when Casey clinks their drinks together too roughly and too loudly. If anything, the pained look on Casey’s face as she takes another swig from her mug is enough to call it a day.

But she just can’t stop herself. She’s found someone who will listen to what she’s saying. Like, truly listen. Regardless of whether Casey remembers any of this or not. Izzie has found someone at this school who will listen and someone who understands. Someone on the same level as her.

Izzie scoots closer to Casey on the couch, until their legs bump together, and she can’t go any further. “Honestly, I think I spend so much time with Nate is because I don’t want to go home.” Like here, right now. Spending time with Casey because she doesn’t want to go home. They could have left a long time ago.

Casey is now slurring her words a little. “Not because he’s your boyfriend and you love him very much?”

She rolls her eyes. “No, Nate’s awesome but sometimes it just feels not quite right with him.” Izzie doesn’t love Nate. She’s just with him to further her own status and popularity at Clayton. She also thinks he’s a self-involved, entitled, rich boy. Which he is.

She sees Casey nodding and humming.

_Is she agreeing?_

“Like he’s from a different planet. And won’t ever know what it’s like on my planet.” Izzie leans towards Casey. “Do you ever feel that way with Evan?”

“No, not really.” Casey shakes her head.

_So, not agreeing then._

“Lucky ho, geez.” Izzie puts an end to that, embarrassed that she brought Evan up.

* * *

“Here.” Izzie lifts Casey’s arm, ducking under it, and wrapping it around her shoulders.

“Thanks.” Casey slurs and then burps.

“Gross.” Izzie giggles.

The cab she called is down at the curb in front of the school. Izzie keeps her eyes peeled for an adults or anyone who can get them in trouble.

She opens the door and helps Casey into the cab. “What’s Evan’s address?” Izzie asks.

Casey blurts it out.

“Did you hear that?” Izzie asks the cab driver, ducking into the back seat.

“Got it.”

Izzie pulls some money from her pocket and hands it to the driver. She hopes that will cover the cab fare to Evan’s house. She doesn’t need Casey going home to her parents and getting both of them in trouble. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Newton.” She tells Casey.

Casey leans towards her and smiles overly big. “Bye bye, Izzie.”

Izzie shakes her head. _Maybe I shouldn’t have let her get that drunk._

She closes the door and waves when Casey waves as the cab pulls away.

_What a dork._ Izzie pulls her phone from her pocket.

She calls Nate. “Hey, can you come pick me up?”

Nate comes to get her and drives her home. They sit in his car at her apartment complex for a little while.

“Why were you at school so late?” He asks.

“Crowley put me in detention.”

“For what?”

Izzie wishes he wouldn’t ask so many questions. It doesn’t really matter. “It wasn’t really detention. But Crowley had us stay after until we got along.”

“We?”

Izzie rolls her eyes. “Me and that new kid.” She really doesn’t want to talk about this.

Nate has a shit eating grin. “You still think she’s out to get you?”

“No.” Izzie mumbles. “I’ve got homework to do.” She leans over and kisses his cheek before hurrying out of the car. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” She closes the door before he can say anything.

Izzy goes inside. The kids are all there. So is Lisa the neighbor. Her mother is at work. “Thanks for watching them.” Izzie takes the baby from Lisa’s arms. “Sorry, I’m late. I’ll make it up to you.” She doesn’t have any money to pay Lisa for the extra hours that she watched Anastasia because she gave that money to Casey for her cab. “I’ll have it by the end of next week.”

“It’s fine.” Lisa waves it off. “Just try to get home when you say you’re going to.”

Izzie nods and watches as Lisa turns and walks out the door. “What do we want for supper?” She says to the two older kids who are sitting on the couch. “Spaghetti.” They cheer.

Elijah comes over when she’s cooking the dinner. “Why were you late today?”

“Track stuff.”

Spaghetti is a common and popular dinner in their household. It’s mostly served with a little slab of butter and if there’s no butter just plain. Izzie looks to see if they have any spaghetti in the cupboard. There’s about a third of a box. Probably not enough for all of them to have a good helping. Izzie will just get Nate to buy her breakfast at school in the morning and only have a little spaghetti now. She’ll have to make something different for little Anastasia. She looks through what they have and decided on some mashed potatoes with some peas for the baby.

She feeds the kids, has the older two take quick shower and gets them all to bed before she does her homework and goes to bed herself.

Izzie lies awake thinking about the day. Thinking about her time after school in Crowley’s office and how nice it was to be able to talk to somebody. How nice it was not to be under pressure to be perfect. And how at ease she felt with Casey. It was easy now that she thinks about it. It was easy to do that with Casey.

_Maybe we are friends._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mom's boyfriend Tyler shows up

Izzie comes home from practice and the kids are sitting out on the front step. “It’s cold. Why are you out here?”

Olivia shrugs and won’t look at Izzie. Elijah looks up and pouts. “Tyler’s back.”

_Son of a bitch._

“Okay. Let’s go in.”

Tyler is her mother’s most recent ex-boyfriend.

Izzie pushes the door open. “What the-“ She doesn’t curse in front of the kids. The kitchen is a mess. There is a trash bag on the table. Izzie looks around. “Where are they?” She asks the kids.

“In the bedroom.”

_Gross._

Izzie grimaces. “Okay, go in the living room. Keep an eye on your sister.” She’d be upset at her siblings about going outside and leaving the baby in the house alone. Except that she wasn’t really alone. Izzie can’t blame the kids for that. Anastasia is safe in the playpen.

She lifts the edge of the bag with one finger, careful not to touch more than she has to. She sees the needles inside and puts the edge back down, closing the bag right away.

Izzie stomps to her mother’s bedroom door. She pounds on the closed door with her fist. “Care to come out here.” She yells at the door.

There’s ruffling around inside the room before the door opens. It’s Tyler, standing there in a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt. He looks worse than the last time Izzie saw him.

“Ah, Isabella.”

Izzie rolls her eyes. “Don’t call me that.”

“Oh, as much of a shithead as you’ve always been, I see.” He smirks at her.

Izzie wants to smack that smug look right off of his face. “What are you doing here?” She’s blunt about it. Right to the point.

“Oh.” He looks back into the bedroom. Izzie’s mom is laying on the bed. “Your mom invited me over.” Her mother waves at her.

Izzie sighs. “Whatever. I need money for groceries.”

“There’s a twenty in my purse.” Her mother points at the bag on the floor.

She knows her mother got paid today. Every time there’s a paycheck she goes to get a new batch of pills. She must have found Tyler down there and brought him back here with her. At least she didn’t spend all the money on drugs.

Izzie pushes past Tyler. She doesn’t even want to touch him, he’s so gross. She gets the money and takes an extra twenty knowing they are too high to notice. Izzie gets back to the door. “Come get you bag off the table.” She threatens Tyler, pointing an angry finger at him. “And keep that shit away from the kids.”

* * *

Izzie hurries down to hall, making a bee line for Casey’s locker. “There you are. I need you.” That came out more whiny and needy than Izzie intended but she needs to vent and knows that Casey is the only one who will understand. So, she’s rolls with it.

“My mom’s loser ex-boyfriend just moved back in.” She takes a look at Casey. She wonders why she’s just seeing her now and where she was this morning before school. “Where’ve you been?” Izzie shifts, awkward about blurting all her crap out.

“Life stuff, dude.”

_Again with the dude? Really, Casey?_

“You don’t wanna know.”

Izzie proceeds to look cool again after her word vomit. She puts on some lip gloss and tries to reel herself in. “Gotta love a guy who only brings the clothes on his back and a trash bag full of drug paraphernalia.”

So much for reeling herself in. She eyes Casey in annoyance of her mother’s boyfriend. Izzie offers the lip gloss to Casey who proceeds to take it. She watches as Casey doesn’t use it on her lips but uses it to make a smiley face on her hand. Izzie finds this little quirk intriguing. She grins at the uniqueness that is Casey.

_Very interesting._

“What’s up with you?”

Even though Casey said you don’t want to know about her ‘life stuff’ she tells Izzie what’s going on. “Well, we thought my dad had a heart attack. Turns out it was just a panic attack caused by my mom being a tramp.”

_I get that. My mom’s a tramp too. Fucking Tyler._

She’s fond of this friendship that she now has with Casey. She’s never found someone who she vibes with and can relate to more at this school. Casey might just be a blessing in disguise and is thankful she showed up when she did.

“It’s a freakin miracle the two of us are still alive.” She leans forward and presses her hands to Casey chest before she knows she’s doing it.

_Woah! Take it easy._

Casey’s back bumps into the lockers. “I know.”

Izzie sees Nate walk up out of the corner of her eye and takes a step back from Casey.

_Way to ruin the girl time, Nate._

Nate opens his dumb mouth. “You know, I knew the two of you were going to fall in love.”

_What? Love?_

Izzie makes a face at his stupid comment and turns back to Casey. They share a look.

He continues about them hooking up. Izzie shoots his dumb ass down. “Hmm. Yeah. Okay.” She watches Casey flip him off and smiles. She giggles as Casey wraps her arm around her and they walk away from Nate.

_He’s definitely not invited. Not that it’s going to happen. Casey’s my friends._

* * *

Izzie sees Casey approaching her and Nate. She watches as Casey perches on the edge of a table across from them and starts complaining about the food at the school.

“Should have ordered pizza.” Izzie snarks. Nate had told her all about Casey issues with getting lunch at school and how he had shared his pizza with her the other day. She briefly wondered if Nate was up to something but then remembered under all of Nate’s poor qualities, he can be a good friend.

Speaking of Nate, Izzie can feel him playing with her fingers in their hand hold. She tries to ignore it, but she also doesn’t want to bring attention to it. Casey complains about the pizza at the school while she’s thinking about Nate’s fingers on hers. Izzie finally moves her hand to his wrist putting a stop to it.

“Wow, I think we finally found something Newton is a snob about.” She jokes.

They listen as Casey raves about the pizza place where she lives. It gets the wheels turning in Izzie’s mind. The thought of seeing Casey outside of a school environment fascinates her.

_What does Casey act like outside of school? How does she dress? Where does she live?_

“Then maybe we should go there.” Izzie proposes. She watches as Casey flails and panics at the prospect.

_How adorable._

“Friday, after practice.” Izzie cements the idea. And to make sure Casey can’t get out of it. And also using them as a cover. “I’ll tell the team.”

Casey panics and stutters and Izzie thinks it’s funny. She eyes Casey curiously. Is Casey hiding something from them? She gets that feeling, at least.

Nate leaves.

Izzie leans forward on the couch. “It’ll be fun. Or sad. Either way, I’m getting breadsticks.” Izzie is really looking forward to this. Time out away from school, home, and a good filling meal where she doesn’t have to worry about paying. She’ll have Nate pay for her. She leaves Casey there, before Casey can talk her way out of it.

* * *

The team meets up outside of Don’s before going in. Izzie can tell something is up with Casey. She’s all fidgety and awkward. “Hey.” She bumps into Casey’s shoulder with her own. “What’s up, Newton?”

Casey shrugs, too busy looking around the parking lot. “Evan might be a little late.”

She appraises what Casey is wearing. A crop top sweatshirt and cream colored pants that don’t quite make it to Casey’s ankles. Not what Izzie thought Casey might wear.

_Bold. Show off that flat stomach._

Izzie nods at that. “Okay, we can go in and save him a seat.”

The group goes in and are shown their table. Izzie takes charge. Which isn’t unusual, she is the captain. “Newton, sit here.” She points out a chair to Casey. “Evan can have the head of the table when he gets here.” She thinks that’s easiest. “He can sit next to Nate, so he’s not sandwiched between girls.” Izzie pulls out the chair next to the one she pointed out for Casey and sits down. “Nate, sit across from Newton. Evan’s going to sit there.” She again points to the seat at the head of the table. She looks up at a bewildered Casey standing next to her. “Sit.” She grins and pats at the chair.

Evan arrives and Casey jumps up from her spot. Izzie watches as Casey goes over to him. That awkwardness from before is still in Casey. If anything, Izzie thinks it should go away now that Evan has arrived, but it doesn’t. She watches as Casey dodges the kiss that Evan tries to give her.

_What’s happening here? Trouble in paradise?_

“Newton, is this him?” She takes the opportunity to call Casey Newton. Which she sees doesn’t go unnoticed by Evan. He even pulls Casey aside to bring it up before he even sits at the table.

Everyone is awkward now.

Evan comes over and sits at the head of the table and their pizzas come shortly thereafter. The group is eating when Nate has to open his big dumb mouth. Again.

“Hey, you know that I was her first friend. At Clayton.” He tells Evan.

_What is he doing?_

Is it innocent or if he’s actively trying to get Evan to hate him and by extension get Evan to hate her? Izzie doesn’t need that.

“Oh really, I thought Izzie was.” Evan says softly.

Izzie finds that interesting. So, Casey has told Evan that they’re friends.

Izzie sets the record straight. “Oh, no. No, no. I was wicked mean to her.” She glances over at Casey, a bit of an apology in her eyes.

“You were so mean to me.”

“I know, I’m sorry about that.” She leans towards Casey. “But I’m so nice now.” She slaps her hand on Casey’s leg and looks into Casey eyes hoping she’ll accept her apology. When Casey fakes like she doesn’t, they laugh it off.

She hears Nate whisper to Evan that Casey is really cool. So maybe he wasn’t getting Evan to hate him. Or maybe he still is. Izzie can’t decide. But she’ll agree with what Nate said. Casey is a really cool girl. She changes the subject so Nate doesn’t dig himself a deeper hole.

“So, how’s Newton without Newton?” She elbows Casey playfully and takes a bite of her pizza.

Izzie is actually interested in Evan’s answer. She wants to know as much about Casey as she can, especially from the people that she’s close with. Izzie is surprised by his answer though. It doesn’t really have anything to do with Casey. But she finds out he doesn’t go to Newton and goes to tech school. She learns more about Evan than Casey in this moment, but it’s all good information to get to know them both better.

When Nate takes the pepperonis from Casey pizza, Izzie wrinkles up her face. She knows Nate and Casey are friends but that’s just gross.

* * *

Izzie likes Don’s. Casey was right. The pizza is divine. And the breadsticks are even better. “I’m stuffed.”

“You wanna make out?” Nate asks.

“Did you not hear what I just said?” Izzie scoffs at him. “I’m stuffed. That sounds like the worst idea right now. I feel like I might actually explode.”

“You’re no fun.” Nate pouts. “It amazes me every time, though. I don’t know how you can eat so much. You’re so tiny.”

“It’s all the running I do.” Which isn’t a lie. Izzie needs to eat to fuel her body to be able to run. But that’s not what tonight was about. She ate more than she should because she knows that if she were at home she wouldn’t have eaten that much. She would have allowed her siblings to have more than her. This way they both win. “Just take me home.”

“Fine.” Nate starts his car.

Izzie walks into a mess on the kitchen table. “What’s this?” She picks up an uncapped needle. She looks around. There isn’t anyone in the room. “Hello.” Izzie calls out.

“In here.” Olivia calls from their bedroom.

Izzie goes to them. She finds the kids all in their room. The baby playing with Elijah on his bunk. He has a Hulk action figure and Anastasia has a Barbie and they are smashing them together and making ridiculous noises. “Where’s mom?”

“She and Tyler went out.” Elijah explains.

“She said you’d be home soon and that they would be back later. I brought Elijah and Anastasia in here. I didn’t want them to get hurt.” Olivia explains.

“That was good of you.” Izzie nods. “Thank you.” She feels guilty for being out with her friends while her siblings were stuck here while her mom and boyfriend got high and then skipped out on them. “You had supper?”

Olivia nods. “Mom made burritos for us.”

Izzie rolls her eyes. Olivia makes it sound way better than it is. Their mother just threw some cheapo frozen burritos in the microwave for the kids to eat. “I’m gonna go clean up. Do you guys wanna watch a movie when I’m done?”

“Yeah!” Elijah cheers, throwing his Hulk in the air.

“Okay give me a few minutes.”

* * *

Izzie confronts her mom and her boyfriend Tyler when they finally show up at the apartment again the next afternoon.

“Where’ve you been?” Izzie nods at the pair as they stroll through the door nonchalantly.

The kids are in the living room watching tv.

“It’s none of your business.” Her mother says and plops down in a kitchen chair.

“Oh, I do think it’s my business. While you’ve been gone, doing God knows what, I’ve been taking care of your children.”

Her mother rolls her eyes. “Whatever. Like it’s hard.”

“Leave your mother alone. She’s had a rough day.” Tyler adds his two cents.

“What are you even doing here?” Izzie folds her arms over her chest. There’s no reason for him to be around.

“I’m with your mom.”

“Okay, but what are you doing here? What’s your purpose? What’s the benefit of you being here?” Izzie is beyond frustrated.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Izzie shrugs, cocky.

Her mom yells. “You think you are in charge here, but you’re not. Just because you are the captain of that track team and go to that special school, you think you are better than us.”

“I am.” Izzie says resolutely.

“You little bitch.” Tyler mumbles. “You listen to your mother. She raised you better than to talk back to her.”

Izzie scoffs. “No, she didn’t.” She squares up to Tyler. He’s a little man. Only a few inches taller than she is. A skinny guy from all the drugs he does. Izzie thinks she could take him in a fight. She knows for sure that she is quicker than he is and could outrun him.

Tyler takes a step forward, his hands flexing on the back of the chair in front of him. He narrows his eyes at Izzie. Izzie shrugs and he loses it.

“You ungrateful little bitch.” He yells, grips the chair before throwing it across the room. It’s clatters to the floor and makes the baby cry.

“Get out.” Izzie yells, she points to the door.

But they don’t leave. Her mom sits in her place. Tyler stands there, fists clenched, heaving in anger.

“Fine.” Izzie moves.

She gathers up the baby. “Get some clothes together guys. We’re going to stay at grandma’s for the night.”

Olivia and Elijah scurry off, partly in fear, and partly just because they are listening to Izzie. It’s a task that they’ve performed before. Olivia and Elijah know what to do. She grabs the things that Anastasia needs and her backpack. The kids come back in a minute with Olivia holding her backpack.

They are walking down the street. Izzie has her phone to her ear. “Hey, grandma, it’s Izzie. Can I come over with the kids?” She pauses and waits for a reply. “Yeah, right now.” Izzie sighs. “Thank you.”

“We’re going to grandma’s?” Elijah asks.

“Yeah, you are going to have a sleepover with grandma for tonight.”

“What about you?” Izzie knows that three kids is a lot and her grandma only has a small place. She also needs a break that doesn’t involve the kids for the night.

“I don’t think I’ll stay this time.” If she did, she would have to share a bed with her siblings.

“Oh.”

“Sorry, buddy. But you’ll have a good time with grandma. You always do, right?”

“Yeah. She’s funny. And she makes us sweets.”

Izzie ruffles his hair. It’s actually not a far walk but the baby on her hip gets a little heavier with each block that they walk.

Izzie drops the kids off. “Can you give me a ride?”

Her grandma sighs but nods. “Everybody in the car.” She eyes Izzie curiously. Usually when something happens, she has her boyfriend come pick her up and she stays with him. “It better not be far.”

Izzie sends a text to Casey and asks for her address. She gets a reply right away. She smiles down at it. The girl is always there for her.

“It’s not. I’ll get you money for gas. Don’t worry.”

Her grandma pulls her into a hug. She can see the exhaustion on Izzie’s face.

“What happened?” Grandma asks as they drive.

“Tyler came back. I got into a fight with him. I told him to leave. He had a needle sitting on the table the other day. I don’t want that around the kids.”

“No.” There’s not much grandma can do to help. She’s an old, retired lady on a fixed income. Just watching the kids for a night or two is a lot for her at her age. She knows that Izzie needs a break though. Izzie’s the one who watches after them most days when their mother doesn’t bother to stick around the apartment.

“I’ll come back tomorrow and pick them up.” She says as she gets out of the car.

Izzie has held it together so far. But now that her siblings aren’t with her and now that she is standing in Casey’s driveway, she starts to tear up.

She waits until the car backs out of the driveway. She waves. Izzie rubs at her cheeks as the tears fall as the car pulls away, not wanting anyone to see but not being able to stop crying either.

She sends Nate a text. **‘I got into a fight with my mom. I’m going over to Casey’s.’** She sends it and then sends him Casey’s address. He can do with that information what he wants.

Izzie comes up to the door of the modest home and tries to stop crying. She wipes at the tears as they fall but it doesn’t help. After a minute, she rings the doorbell despite the tears.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the Nate kiss

The door opens and Izzie doesn’t have to worry anymore because it’s Casey that answers the door. “Hey.” She knows she looks like shit but can’t seem to care.

“Hi.”

Casey seems surprised to see the mess at her doorstep, but she pulls Izzie into a hug anyway. Izzie grips onto Casey as tight as she can. She feels like she is able to confide in Casey for some reason. And she feels comfortable crying in front of her, or well, on Casey’s shoulder. Izzie relishes in the comfort that her friend brings her. After a few moments. Casey welcomes her in, and they go sit on the couch. Casey waits until Izzie calms down and has stopped crying.

Izzie explains what happened to Casey. “He’s such a dick. He was yelling and throwing things.” Now that she thinks back, she can’t believe what happened. Well, she can believe it because it happened, but it never should have.

“And I was like, dude, leave.” Izzie isn’t one to use the word dude. She never has in the past, but she’s realized as she’s just said it, that she’s picked it up from Casey saying it all the time.

Casey sits there and listens intently.

“But whatever. I’m not scared of that asshole.” Izzie voices that she’s big and strong and in control. But really, they both know with her showing up at the door there was something that scared her. Izzie plays nervously with her hoodie string as the conversation continues.

“What about the kids?”

“I took them to my grandma’s. But she doesn’t have a lot of room so-“ She worries that Casey is going to say she can’t stay and that she has to go back home tonight.

Izzie is relieved when Casey puts a hand on her shoulder. “Oh, you’re staying here.”

“Okay, thank you.” Izzie says in a small voice as she feels Casey rubbing her shoulder gently.

The door opens and closes, and Sam comes in. He doesn’t see them, but Casey stops him.

“Sam, this is Izzie.”

Izzie gets a glimpse at Sam and gives him a wave.

“Izzie, this is Sam.”

“No time. I’m busy.” Sam rushes off.

“Seems like he likes you.” Casey jokes and they share a smile.

_It’s nice here._ Izzie looks around the house. It’s modest but welcoming and has a homey feel.

“Come on.” Casey gets up and follows Sam. Izzie dutifully follows.

“I wonder what’s gotten into him.” She says at the top of the stairs.

Izzie follows her into Sam’s room, seeing more and more of Casey’s house.

“What are you doing?” Casey is nosy. She has to be.

Izzie stands next to Casey as they watch Sam pack his bag. She folds her arms over her chest and takes in the dynamic between the Gardner siblings.

“Why? You don’t go places.” She’s suspicious.

“I’m going to sleep over at Zahid’s to learn how to do it for when I go to the senior lock in and college and eventually bone town.”

Izzie likes that. _Bone town._ She likes Sam’s vibe.

“Ya know, that actually sounds like a not terrible idea.”

Izzie looks at Casey while she talks. She just can’t avoid it.

“I thought so too.” Sam looks around nervously. “I think I have everything.” Then he remembers his turtle. “Edison. Should I bring Edison?” He looks in the tank.

Izzie watches Sam closely.

“No, leave the turtle.” Casey advises.

“Tortoise.” Izzie and Sam say in unison. Izzie looks at Casey again.

“Nerds.” Casey looks at Izzie when she says it.

Izzie rolls her eyes that Casey is being mean to them. They can’t help it if they know about animals and thinks. Doesn’t mean they are nerds.

“But, I need Edison.” Sam’s success at a sleepover hinges on Edison. “What if I can’t sleep without the sounds of his little feet on the glass. Or, or the smell of his food wafting threw the tank vent. Maybe this is a bad idea.” Sam panics. “Maybe I shouldn’t go.”

But Izzie has a solution. She dealt with her siblings being scared to go to a sleepover. And she always recommends they bring something that will remind them of home. She knows Sam isn’t the same as her siblings, but the idea might still work with him.

“Well, Sam-“

She cuts Casey off. “Why don’t you leave Edison here.” She turns to Casey to make sure what she’s saying and doing is okay. “Where he’s comfortable.” Casey doesn’t stop her, so she continues. “But bring his container of food so that way if you miss him or you feel nervous you can smell it.”

“Olfactory senses are the greatest memory stimulant of all the senses. That’s not a bad idea.” Sam gives Izzie credit. “You’re name’s Izzie?” He looks Izzie in the eye for the first time.

Izzie smiles for him. “Yeah.”

Sam hums and packs Edison’s food container. “Well, that’s everything.” He puts his backpack on and looks at his sister and Izzie. “You’ll be okay without me?”

Casey nods sarcastically. “Yes, I’m sure I’ll manage.” They watch Sam leave his room. “Bye.”

Izzie grins, like a proud mom, as Sam leaves on his own.

“I’m glad you like Sam.” Casey stops at the door.

“What’s not to like? He’s cool.” Izzie says that with honesty. She’s just happy that Sam seems to accept her and like her back. She doesn’t know much about him but it’s good to know that she isn’t at odds with Casey’s brother. “Is this your room?” She asks Casey, pointing the room on the other side of the bathroom, eager to see Casey’s room.

“Hey.” Casey calls. “How’d you know what to say to him?”

Izzie shrugs. She stops in the door to Casey’s room and waits for Casey to catch up to her. “I have a little brother. He likes animals. And I’ve been there. They’ve been nervous or anxious about sleepovers. I always tell them to bring something that will be a comfort when they are away from home.” She looks at the door. “Can I go in?” A smile slowly creeps up on her lips.

Casey looks up at the ceiling and nods.

Izzie grins and opens the door. “Wow, Newton. Enough posters on the walls?” She inspects the walls before looking around at all the things Casey has in her room.

She looks around but doesn’t say anything about anything else she sees in Casey’s room. Izzie just takes stock of it all, trying to commit it to memory.

“Are you done yet?” Casey asks, embarrassed, after a few minutes. Izzie just hums and looks at that items on Casey’s nightstand. “I have an idea.”

Izzie looks over her shoulder at her friends. Casey stands with her back against the doorframe, her arms folded over her chest, her ankles crossed.

_Smooth._

They go downstairs.

“Get down there.” Casey points to the floor.

“What?” Izzie grins curiously.

“Just do it. Okay.”

Izzie nods and sits on the floor. She watches as Casey rushes around the room, grabbing pillows and blankets, and chairs. She bites her lip as Casey builds a fort around her. Izzie lays down against a pillow when the blanket goes on over the top and she can’t see what Casey is doing anymore.

_Is this really happening?_

It seems so juvenile but also so very necessary at the same time.

“Stay there. Okay.” Casey says before rushing off.

It’s a few minutes before Casey comes back. She pops her head into the fort, a mischievous grin on her face. “Hi.” She throws the book inside and then more carefully sets the lantern at Izzie hip before crawling in with the flashlight in her hand.

“I thought you were going to bring me ice cream or something yummy.” Izzie whines. “But that’s not ice cream.”

Casey hums. “We don’t have an ice cream, currently. But as long as we are on the topic, what’s your favorite kind?”

“I don’t get ice cream very often and I don’t know what it’s called but the one that vanilla with a swirl of caramel and the little chocolate animals that have caramel inside them so when you bite into them it’s like a nice little surprise of caramel.” Izzie shrugs. “I like caramel.”

Casey looks at her with big eyes. “I can tell.” She smirks. “Say caramel again.”

Izzie smacks Casey’s arm for making fun of her. “What book is that?”

“Stephen King’s IT. Apparently, it’s scary.” Casey flips the book over and taps at the front cover.

“I don’t like scary things.” Izzie whines and folds her arms to her chest, hands tucked under her chin.

“Here.” Casey crawls over Izzie and sets the lantern on the couch cushion. She turns the flashlight on and holds it under her chin, making goofy faces.

Izzie laughs. “You're ridiculous.”

Casey shrugs and situates herself so she’s laying next to Izzie, side by side. “Should I start from the beginning or just pick a random spot?”

“You’re going to read?” Izzie asks shyly.

_To me?_

“I am.” Casey nods, looking over at her friend. “Beginning or random?”

Izzie bites her lip. “Beginning.” She can’t believe this. She can’t believe Casey is going to read to her.

Casey starts. She rests the flashlight on her chest so she can hold the book with two hands. Why she chose this book she doesn’t know.

Izzie settles in and Casey’s side and listens to Casey read. The story is scary, but the sound of Casey voice is the farthest thing from scary. It’s soothing to her.

She drifts off for a moment when Casey shifts to get more comfortable. Izzie’s side feels like it’s on fire where their bodies press together. From her shoulder all the way down to her ankle it seems. For some reason, that warm feeling makes her nervous.

Izzie plays with her hair nervously as the story gets increasingly scary. Until she can’t take it anymore. “Okay, okay. Stop.” She embarrassed that she scared and makes Casey stop. “I can’t do it.” She waffles. “No, keep reading.” She rolls into Casey side.

They share a look.

Casey throws the book down. “No, I’m stopping, it’s too scary.” Even though the whole reading thing didn’t work out it was still a good idea. It’s the thought that counts, right?

“Thank you for building this ridiculous fort and for reading me scary books just to keep my mind off of what’s going on.” Izzie is grateful that she ended up here with Casey at the end of the day. She knows none of her other friends from Clayton would have gone to these lengths to make her feel better. She feels warm, and cozy, and safe in Casey’s fort.

“We can stay in here forever, if you want.”

_I would like that._

Izzie bites her lip as Casey talks. Stay in here forever. That sounds like a marvelous idea. Forget about the outside world and just hang out, the two of them. It sounds perfect to Izzie.

But then Casey makes it weird. “We can pee in a can.” It makes Izzie laugh, though.

“We can do college classes online. We can get old here. Get a couple cats.”

She knows Casey is just being a goof but right now that sounds like a solid idea. To not have to worry about anything outside their fort, real life, would be wonderful,.

“Newton?”

“Yeah.”

She looks over at Casey to express herself. “This might sound lame, but you’re like my new favorite person.” Izzie says it and when Casey doesn’t say anything right away Izzie has to look away, embarrassed that she said that out loud.

“Really?” Casey finally says.

Izzie sighs, relieved. “Y-yeah.” She tries to not sound so needy. “Was that tragic since we just met a little while ago?” She looks to Casey for validation.

“No.”

Izzie bites her lip again thankful that Casey doesn’t think she’s totally lame.

“You’re my new favorite person too.” Casey says softly but then there’s an outburst. “But don’t tell Sharice cause she will kill you.”

_I’m Casey’s favorite person. I’m Casey’s favorite person. I’m Casey’s favorite person._

Izzie doesn’t know about this Sharice kid that Casey talks about, but she knows that they are close. “Got it.” She won’t mess with that.

“Oh, I know.” Izzie brightens up. “Let’s make up a secret handshake.” She needs a outlet for her nervous energy.

Casey sits up. “Really?”

“Sure.” Izzie shrugs. “Why not?”

Casey rolls her head around “Okay.”

Izzie sits up and faces Casey. “How should we start?”

It’s takes a lot of trial and error and lots of miss hits and slaps that are out of place but they finally get it down to what they want. They practice the hand shake over and over and over again. Until they get it down without any hesitation or messing up. It’s all fun and games and laughter until there is a knock on the door.

They both stop and look at each other, alarmed. Izzie awkwardly looks away. “I forgot I texted Nate.”

“Noooooo.” Casey whines.

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.”

“He’s going to ruin the girl time.”

Izzie regrets texting him now that Casey says that. “Let’s just pretend that we’re not here.” That’ll be solve it. Izzie thinks if they just stay hidden in their fort that Nate will go away and never know anything of the fort. Thinking of the fort, Izzie knows that Nate will thinks it’s dumb. And that he will voice that opinion.

Casey lowers her voice. “We’re not home.” She yells like a ghost.

_So much for pretending we aren’t here._

Of course, Nate knows they are there. “Open the door you dumbies.”

“Ohhh.” Izzie leans forward, putting her hand on Casey’s knee. “He’s gonna make so much fun of us for making this fort.” Izzie can’t believe this is happening. “Oh my god.”

“Well, boys ruin everything.” Casey deadpans.

Izzie doesn’t know if boys ruin everything, but a boy is definitely ruining this night for her. Her boy. She can’t even look at Casey anymore. She’s going to have to deal with this though. She’s the one who brought Nate here. “Okay, what do we do?”

“Let him in, I guess.”

“We could watch a movie.” She grins at Casey like it’s some secret.

“You’ll fall asleep.”

Izzie doesn’t need to be reminded of the time on the team bus on the way back from a track meet where they sat next to each other and Casey pulled out her phone so they could watch a movie and Izzie was asleep ten minutes into the movie. “No, I won’t.”

Casey gives her the ‘really’ look.

With that Casey gets out from under their fort to answer the door, Izzie gets up and pulls the blanket down destroying the fort and their fun.

Nate walks in. “What do we have here?” He sees the remnants of the fort. “Children.” He looks from Izzie to Casey. “What have you been up to?”

“Nothing, Nate. Shut up.” Izzie snaps at him. She continues with tearing down the fort.

“We’re going to watch a movie.” Casey announces. “Nate will you help me make the popcorn.”

“Okay.” He’s thrilled at some solo time with Casey.

They go into the kitchen. Casey gets a microwave popcorn from the cupboard and throws it in the microwave. “So, Izzie texted you.”

Nate nods. “She said she had a fight with her mom. As you’ll learn, it happens quite often. I’m glad that she could come to you. Usually, she comes to me, but if it’s not me, then I’m glad it’s you.”

Casey nods, getting a better feel for Nate and more understanding of Izzie’s situation. “Yeah, I’m glad I could be there for her.” Casey points to the cupboard next to where Nate is standing. “Can you get the big popcorn bowl from there?”

Nate nods and gets the bowl. He comes over and stands next to Casey in front of the microwave, holding the bowl. He looks over at Casey but she avoids his gaze.

“Nate.” Izzie calls for him. She sees him standing next to Casey in the kitchen, wondering what they’re talking about.

_Probably me._

He sets the bowl on the counter and backs away from Casey to go see what Izzie wants. “What’s up?”

“Why are you here?” Izzie whispers, she glances to the kitchen to make sure Casey isn’t listening.

“What do you mean? You texted me. I thought you wanted me to come over.” He’s confused.

Izzie rolls her eyes. “I was just updating you on my whereabouts and what was happening.”

Nate frowns. Izzie is always like this after a fight with her mom. So hot and cold with him. He’s not surprised by it.

“Here’s the popcorn.” Casey walks in with the huge bowl. “What movie should we watch?”

“Let Nate pick.” Izzie says.

_Since he came all this way._

Casey plops down on one end of the couch, popcorn bowl in her lap. She gets the remote. “Here ya go, Nate. Pick a good one.” She hands him the remote as he comes to sit next to her. Casey throws a piece of popcorn up in the air and catches it in her mouth. She looks over at Izzie standing there, she wiggles her eyebrows at her. “Sit down.”

Izzie frowns and sits on the opposite side of Nate. She hopes the shift in her mood isn’t too noticeable.

He starts a movie.

It’s something that Izzie knows she’s not going to like. A superhero movie of some sort, Izzie knows from the first few minutes. She gets a pillow and rests her head on the armrest and tries to pay attention regardless.

Izzie takes a few sips of her Sprite before she doesn’t want anymore. She gets comfy on the couch. If she would’ve known Casey had a nice comfy couch, she would have come over sooner to take advantage of it.

A few minutes into the boring movie, Izzie falls asleep.

* * *

Izzie wakes up later, a blanket over her. The lights all turned off except for one. The tv is off and Nate and Casey are nowhere in sight.

“Newton?” She whispers. Izzie walks through the house. It seems empty. She ventures upstairs. _Maybe Casey wanted to show Nate something upstairs._ She frowns, not liking that idea.

The door to Casey’s room is partially open as she approaches. She doesn’t hear any noise from within. Izzie peeks her head in and sees Casey sitting up in bed with a magazine in her lap.

“Hey.” Izzie stands in Casey’s door. “What happened? Where’s Nate?”

“He went home. The movie was over.” Casey avoids looking at Izzie. She hates this. She hates lying to her about what happened with Nate.

“You were right.” Izzie comes into the room, yawning. “I feel asleep. But you can’t blame me. That movie Nate picked was boring.”

“I thought it was alright.” Casey tried watching more of the movie after Nate left but it felt wrong with Izzie sleeping right there. “Should we go to sleep?”

“Yeah. Don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep right away though. Should I sleep on the couch?” Izzie thumbs over her shoulder. _Is that what the blanket was for?_

“No. You can sleep in here, if you want.” Casey gives her the option. She knows Izzie has been through a lot today and doesn’t want to make her feel lonely or sad.

“Okay, I’ll just go grab my bag.” Izzie hurries back downstairs. She’s happy she doesn’t have to sleep down there all by herself. She comes back up and sees that Casey is laying in bed already. “Oh, I’ll just-“ She doesn’t finish her sentence. She pulls her red hoodie up over her head, revealing her form hugging black shirt underneath. She throws the shirt over the back of Casey’s chair and moves towards the bed. She feels a little nervous about this. Why, she’s not sure. It’s not like Casey bites or something. But it’s always a little awkward sleeping in someone else’s bed.

Izzie climbs into bed and lays on her back. She’s noticed that Casey is quiet and awkward too. She assumes it’s for the same reasons. Them sharing a bed for the first time.

Casey reaches over and turns off the light next to the bed. “Goodnight.”

Izzie sighs. “Goodnight, Newton.”

Izzie is wrong. Without anything to worry about tonight she falls asleep right away. Safe and secure in this warm bed.

* * *

Izzie wakes up in the morning feeling rested and refreshed. Not something that always happens. She stretches out and bumps into Casey with her arm. She looks over and Casey is still asleep. Izzie takes a few moments just to look at her. Casey with her eyes closed. Casey sleeping peacefully. She smiles thinking about last night. Overall, it wasn’t a bad night. Plus, she got to stay over and sleep here in this nice bed. At her apartment, she sleeps on an aged, stained mattress on a box spring. There isn’t even a bedframe.

Casey shifts and it spooks Izzie out of her thoughts. What was she thinking about other than mattresses?

_Casey. Soft, warm Casey._

That spooks Izzie even more. She gets out of bed, grabs her hoodie and goes downstairs.

“Good morning.”

“Oh.” Izzie stops in her tracks.

“Did you sleep well?”

Izzie thinks about it. It was probably one of the best nights of sleep she’s had in a long time. “I did.”

“Do you want some breakfast?” Casey’s mom offers.

“I don’t want to intrude.” Izzie puts up her hands, meaning not to have Elsa go to the trouble.

“I have to make breakfast for everyone else too. Come on. Sit down. You can have some too.” Mrs. Gardner gives her a kind smile.

Izzie sighs and sits at the counter. Elsa asks her questions as she makes oatmeal and omelets for breakfast. Mostly, about her family and school. She puts in more effort than Izzie’s own mother. Both at making breakfast and at being interested about Izzie life.

She makes sure she answers Elsa’s questions as politely and as accurately as possible. She knows Casey isn’t polite to her own mother. With all the things Casey has said about Elsa, Izzie would have thought that she was an evil troll. But Elsa seems nice and caring, but Izzie could see how she might be a little overbearing. But overall, she likes Casey’s mom. She’s way better than her own mom. And yeah, maybe Elsa did a shitty thing, that could break up the family, but she’s nowhere near as bad as Izzie’s mom. In her opinion.

Casey comes down just as breakfast is ready. “Perfect timing, sleepyhead.” Izzie smiles over at her. The girl’s hair a little messy from sleep and there’s still a groggy look still on her face.

“How’d ya sleep, Case?” Elsa asks.

Casey looks from her mom over to Izzie.

“Sit.” Izzie pats the stool at the counter next to her.

Casey sits, silently.

“Cat got your tongue?” Elsa asks. Casey just rolls her eyes.

“Not a morning person?” Izzie looks over and asks.

Casey shrugs.

“Alright, here’s breakfast. Eat up.” Elsa sets plates in front of them both.

Breakfast is had in comfortable silence. “This is delicious, Mrs. G. Thanks.”

“Anytime.” She waves Izzie off.

Izzie smiles and finishes her food. Happy for a meal made from scratch. She eats every morsel. “I should get going. I have to get back to my brother and sisters.

Izzie looks over at Casey. Casey just nods. She doesn’t seem to be very eager about anything this morning. It’s been a while seen she’s woken up too so the grogginess should be worn off by now. Izzie wonders if it’s her. Did she hog the bed or the blankets and Casey ddin’t sleep well?

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good.” Casey smiles.

Izzie gathers her things. She gets a brief hug from Casey at the door. She feels like something is off but doesn’t know what. Izzie doesn’t mention it in case it has nothing to do with her. “I’ll see you at school.” Izzie whispers and ducks her head.

“Yep.” Casey gives her a tight-lipped smile before Izzie steps outside.

Izzie smiles before turning to leave. She plans on walking. It’s a ways but she needs a good walk and some fresh air anyway. It’s be good to think and clear her head. Last night was just about avoiding what was going on but now, today, she has to just back into reality.

She walks to her grandmother’s place, gathers the kids and goes home with them. She’s glad to find her mother or her boyfriend aren’t’ there when they return. She spends her Sunday playing with and entertaining the kids.


	5. Chapter 5

Izzie finds Casey trying to shove a note into her locker as she rounds the corner. “Did you write me a love note?”

_Shit, did I just say that out loud? Quick, play it off as a joke._

Casey turns to Izzie, worried look written all over her face. They fight over possession of the note. Izzie playfully takes it from Casey so she can read it. It was meant for her after all if Casey was putting it in her locker.

“I was going to tell you in person, but I chickened out, so I wrote it.”

Izzie doesn’t know what that means but starts reading the note. She gets done with the first sentence and goes on to the second. Her heart feels like it stops, seizes in her chest. Izzie is confused. “You and Nate kissed?”

_That can’t be right?_

Casey tries to defend herself. “No, no. He kissed me.”

If what Casey says is true. “That asshole.”

“I know.” Casey agrees.

“I can’t believe he did that. I’m going to kill him.” Izzie is beyond shocked. Her head spins.

“Do you wanna go talk about it?” Casey asks.

_No._

Izzie doesn’t want to talk about it. Not until she figures out what’s happening. Why would she want to talk about it? Maybe because they talk about everything. But not this. She can’t talk to Casey about this.

“Nope.” Izzie folds the dreaded note. “I just need time to think.”

Casey tries to apologize as Izzie backs away from her. She can’t be around Casey right now.

_Why would Nate do that? And with Casey of all people. Couldn’t he have kissed someone else? Why did it have to be Casey? Is that why they were such good friends, Nate and Casey? Has this been going on behind her back the entire time?_

Izzie runs all the possibilities through in her mind.

She does need time to think. She also needs to talk to Nate. Izzie ducks into the bathroom. Her hands shake, so she grips the sink as she stares in the mirror at her own angry face. As she does, her head is spinning.

_This can’t be happening. How is this happening? Her boyfriend and Casey?_

She needs to talk to Nate. But she’s so mad at him. It’s all so confusing.

Izzie finds Nate after school. “Nate.” Much calmer now and having time to think over the scenario.

“What’s up?” He leaves the guy he was talking to. One of his friends. Izzie doesn’t know his name. She never bothered to learn it.

“So, Casey told me something interesting today?” She raises an angry eyebrow at him.

“Casey?” He’s shocked Izzie didn’t call her Newton.

“That’s what I said.” She snips at him.

“Okay.” He knows where this going. He grips the strap of his backpack tighter, ready for the anger and assault from Izzie.

“She said you kissed her.”

“No. She’s lying. She kissed me.” He lies.

“Oh.” Izzie looks down at her shoes. Was Casey was just after Nate this whole time? She’s starting to think Casey didn’t want anything to do with her and was just getting close to her to get to Nate. _Does that explain the awkwardness at Don’s with Casey and Evan then?_

This is even more confusing now. “When did she kiss you?”

“The other night, at her house.”

That night. The night Izzie came over because she was upset and needed her friend. The night she texted Nate to come over too. Izzie’s the one who brought him there. It all makes sense now. It happened while she was asleep on the couch. That’s why Nate was gone when she woke up. That’s why Casey was upstairs in her room and awkward the rest of that night and the next morning.

“That bitch.” Izzie mumbles.

“I know. She’s your friend too. I can’t believe she did that.” Nate plays off of Izzie’s anger. To be honest, he expected her to be even angrier.

Izzie hums. She thinks of a plan to get back at Casey. What’s the worst thing she can do? Humiliate her. Publicly. “I’ve got to go.” Izzie storms off.

She goes home and slams the front door. “What crawled up your ass and died?” Her mother spouts.

“Screw you.” Izzie whizzes past her to her bedroom.

Olivia is in there. She looks over as Izzie closes the door and flops down on her bed. “Bad day?”

She knows she shouldn’t burden her little sister more than she already is. But… Izzie needs someone to talk to. Usually, she’d go to Casey or Nate. But Casey and Nate are the reasons for her problems.

“The person who I thought was my friend allegedly kissed my boyfriend.” Izzie mumbles. She rubs her hands over her face and through her hair. “They each say the other is to blame. And I don’t know who to believe.”

“Yikes.”

Izzie looks over at her sister. She narrows her eyes at her. “It’s not funny.”

“I never said it was.” Olivia shakes her head. “What did they tell you?”

Izzie thinks back. Casey wrote her a note. She smiles thinking back to seeing Casey trying to put the note in her locker, thinking it was something cute or silly. She remembers what she said. As a joke of course. _Did you write me a love note?_ It was a joke. It was supposed to be a joke.

But Casey couldn’t even tell her in person. She chickened out and had to write in a note. Izzie doesn’t know which would’ve been worse. But Casey was adamant that Nate kissed her.

“Casey said that Nate kissed her.” Izzie runs the words over and over in her brain.

“And what about Nate?”

“He says the opposite. That Casey kissed him.”

Olivia hums. She’s only ten and doesn’t know anything about this sort of thing so she can’t say one thing or another to help her sister out.

“Yeah.” Izzie wraps her arms around herself in a hug. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Do you think it could’ve been mutual? That they are covering for each other?” Olivia raises a good point. One that Izzie didn’t think of.

“That doesn’t seem right.” From everything that Izzie has seen between them it didn’t seem like there was anything there between them, but then again, maybe she’s wrong. Maybe she’s turned a blind eye too. Izzie feels like Casey can be overly friendly sometimes and even flirty with the people around her. She sure feels like Casey flirts with her most of the time.

“But maybe I’m wrong.” Izzie sighs.

“Do you want to read this book with me?” Olivia asks. A thoughtful little thing to make Izzie feel better.

All Izzie can think about is a few days ago, when Casey did the same thing. When she read to her in their ridiculous fort to distract her from her troubles.

“No. Thanks for offering though.” She gets up and leaves the apartment. “I’m going for a walk.” She needs to think. Without anyone else around. Alone.

Izzie ends up at the park closest to the apartment. She sits on the top of the picnic table. She looks around. It’s quiet, there’s no one around. It’s perfect.

When she read the note, she felt numb. Like it couldn’t be real. She looked at Casey to see if it was real, but Casey couldn’t even look her in the eye. That might have been the most brutal part of all of this.

When she asked Nate about it. He shrugged and said flat out that Casey kissed him. He moved on right away like it wasn’t a big deal.

_So, which one of them is lying?_

Izzie leans forward, her elbows on her knees, her hands in her hair.

Casey wanted to talk about it, but she couldn’t do that. Casey brought it up. Or at least, wrote her a note to tell her what happened. She had to find out first and then ask Nate about it. So, he kept it from her.

On one hand, she has her boyfriend, who wouldn’t have any reason to lie to her. And on the other is Casey, who she doesn’t know as well as Nate.

She grinds her teeth together. She pulls the note from her pocket and reads it again. Now that she is alone it brings tears to her eyes. Izzie wipes them away as soon as they come. She reads it again and again through the tears. It makes her more and more angry every time she reads it.

“Arrrrr.” She growls and pushes herself up from the picnic table. She knows what she’s going to do. She doesn’t like it. But thinks it’s necessary. If she has to choose between the two of them, she’s going to choose the safer option.

* * *

Izzie would roll her eyes, but she doesn’t want Casey to see it. The girl is sitting on the bench outside of her third period class as soon as she walks out.

_Desperate much?_

She hears the footsteps behind her. She tries to tune Casey out but it’s no use.

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you.”

She walks as quickly as she can away from Casey.

Casey rambles nervously about flicking some freshmen in the ear. She opens her locker, ignoring Casey the entire time and wearing her best resting bitch face.

“Is everything okay?” Casey asks.

_No, it’s not okay. You ruined everything._ Izzie wants to just scream that at Casey. How clueless can Casey be?

“Yep.”

“Did you break up with Nate?”

The audacity that Casey has right now just blows Izzie’s mind. “No.” She loads her backpack quickly.

“No?”

She finally turns to look at Casey. The confused and perhaps pained look on Casey face is brutal to look at. “That’s what I said.” She turns away from her as soon as she can.

Izzie wonders how Casey can think that she would. She walks away but feels a hand on her shoulder.

“Izzie, what’s up?”

She turns to Casey and rolls her eyes. “I asked Nate about what happened. He said you kissed him.” Izzie huffs in frustration. She doesn’t want to talk about this anymore. She just wants it to be over with. To move on.

“What?” Casey squeaks. “That is not true.”

This is all so uncomfortable. “I don’t know what to believe.”

“Believe me.” Casey pleads.

And Izzie wants to. She wants to believe Casey. But she can’t. For multiple reasons, she can’t.

“I’ve known him longer. He’s my boyfriend.” Izzie looks Casey up and down. “And I’ve seen you guys flirt. I just thought you liked the attention.” She turns away from Casey. She can’t do this. She can’t look at her any longer.

“Izzie, I didn’t do anything.” Casey panics.

“That’s not what he said.” She’s done with this. “So just back off, Casey.” She shakes her head at Casey and turns around. Nate is there. She wraps her arm around him, and they walk to class.

She hears Casey though as they walk away. “What happened to Newton?”

Izzie thinks that maybe Newton is gone. That it will just be Casey from now on.

She rests her head against Nate’s shoulder.

“I know that was hard.” Nate says.

Izzie just nods. It was very hard. Probably the hardest thing Izzie’s ever had to do. And that’s saying something giving all the family drama that she has to deal with.

* * *

The next morning Izzie goes to school early. She goes to the locker room and breaks into Casey’s locker. Is it breaking in if you know the combination? No, and she doesn’t care. Izzie gets the white out pen from her backpack and grabs Casey’s running shoes.

She pauses thinking back to the first day Casey arrived. And how the other girls pointed out Casey’s shoes, the ones she has in her hand right now, and how they made fun of her for not having brand new shoes. She felt bad for Casey then but now… She’s mad.

Izzie writes on each of the toes of the shoes with her white out pen. The word SLUT on the toe of the left shoe and HO on the right. This will be worse than the embarrassment Casey felt that first day when they made fun of her shoes. She finishes and waves them around in the air, getting the writing to dry faster. She looks in Casey’s locker in the meantime. There’s nothing significant in there.

Izzie hears a noise and quickly puts the shoes back in the locker and shuts the door. She picks up her backpack and hurries away from the locker. She goes to find Nate before classes start.

* * *

Izzie tries not to pay too much attention to it but she notices when Casey comes out to practice late, red faced, swollen eyes, knowing she’s been crying. She looks down and sees the shoes on Casey’s feet. The written a little worn now and the material wet. She smirks and leads the team in a warmup.

“Let’s go, ladies.” She runs at the head of the group.

She’s not going to point out Casey’s shoes but if someone else does she’s not going to stop them from saying anything. The damage has been done.

Does she feel bad about it? Now that she sees how it affected Casey? _Yes._ It was just supposed to be a stupid prank but maybe she took it too far.

She notices Casey hangs at the back of the group, running by herself.

Quinn runs up next to her. “What’s up with Newton? Why isn’t she running with you?”

_Is it that obvious?_ They usually do run together during warmup. But so what. That doesn’t mean anything. “Don’t know. Maybe she’s finally realized that I’m the top dog here and that she can’t compete with me.”

Izzie misses the confused look on Quinn’s face.

Casey doesn’t make it through the entire practice. Izzie sees her go over to Coach Crowley after their warmup. Casey leaves with her head hung low.

“Maybe she’s sick.” Quinn comments.

“Maybe.” Izzie agrees and watches Casey leaving the track. Does she regret what she did now? _Yes._ Even more than when Casey first came out for practice. But Izzie keeps her chin held high for show.

As Izzie watches Casey leave practice with her head down in embarrassment and probably hurt, she knows Casey isn’t sick. At least, not illness sick.

Izzie didn’t want any drama on the team. That’s what she told Casey on her first day. But here Izzie is, the one creating drama. She looks around at the other girls. It doesn’t appear that anyone else noticed the writing on Casey’s shoes. She frowns realizing that her plan backfired. But, at the end of the day, maybe that’s a good thing.

The only thing that any of the girls has noticed is that she and Casey didn’t interact at the beginning of practice or warm up together. Something that they always do so when it didn’t happen it was obvious. The girls know what that means without having to ask questions. It means that Casey and Izzie got into a fight or argument about something.

But since Izzie is stern on the no drama rule, no one is going to whip it up into a frenzy. Izzie knows this. And it might be her saving grace right now. The girls might whisper about it behind her back though. So, she knows she’s potentially caused more problems for herself.

Izzie looks over at Coach Crowley and coach is glaring back at her. Coach saw the shoes, she knows. So, Izzie puts her head down and gets to work hard on what she needs to do, focusing in on track practice. She knows she’s stepped in it. Big time. And now she’ll have to deal with the consequences. She’s tried so hard to keep herself out of trouble and anything that would cause distraction from her track career. This is the opposite of that. Izzie doesn’t know what’s going to happen next, but knows it’s going to be difficult moving forward.

* * *

Izzie goes to school, per usual. The day goes normally. Well, normally except for the fact that she doesn’t see Casey at all. Not before school, not between any of her morning classes and not at lunch. Izzie sees that as Casey taking the ‘back off’ to heart and she has mixed feelings about that.

She doesn’t get any texts or any other form of communication from Casey.

In the afternoon, there is an encounter. She sees Casey once. It’s between classes and Izzie is walking down the hall. She sees Casey walking towards her. They are about to pass each other, and she sees the recognizing on Casey’s face that they are in the same space. Then Casey looks down at the floor and picks up her pace.

Izzie stops and turns and watches Casey speed walk away from her. She frowns. Casey is doing what Izzie asked, but it doesn’t feel good now.

At practice, Izzie notices that Casey does what she did the day before. Which is run by herself at the back of the group.

It’s not like the girls take sides, because they don’t, but Izzie sees most of them avoid Casey. It hurts to see. She knows it’s because she’s the captain and they don’t want to get on her bad side.

The following days continue much the same. No contact. No talking. No interaction. Not during school. Not at practice.

* * *

It takes it’s toll on Izzie. She knows now she made the wrong decision. Choosing Nate over Casey. But what could she do? She did what she felt would get her further in life, further at this school. But at what cost? None of the girls on the team bring it up to her directly and they don’t exclude Izzie, but they are cautious around her. Izzie can see it and feel it.

Things at home are still shit. And Tyler is still hanging around. She needs someone to talk to. Izzie avoids Nate most of the time now too. They have lunch together but that’s about it. He doesn’t seem to mind or care. So, she can’t talk to him. The person she wants to talk to, to vent to, is the person that she’s purposely extricated from her life. And for what?

She misses Casey more than anything. She misses the presence that is Casey in her life. Izzie wonders how that happened in such a short period of time. Not that long ago, Casey wasn’t even at Clayton, not in Izzie’s life. Now her days seem to be dictated by a girl that she can’t seem to get out of her thoughts.

Izzie knows she can’t talk to any of the girls on the track team, even if they weren’t avoiding her too. They just don’t understand. They are in a totally different world from the one that Izzie lives in. Most people she’s around are. And it’s not fair. And Izzie knows life isn’t fair. She wishes she hadn’t done what she did to Casey, but she also doesn’t know how to make it better.

So, Izzie mopes around the apartment when she is home. And when she’s not home she has on her angry bitch face.

It’s super awkward at track practice. Everyone on the team notices. How can they not? It would be like not noticing that it’s raining.

She’s noticed Casey’s new shoes though. They don’t run warmups together. Casey stays at the back of the group. No one really talks to Casey on the track team. They all assume that Casey did something wrong. That makes Izzie sad because she knows, she knows Casey didn’t do anything wrongs. She wouldn’t do anything wrong. And she didn’t want to take away any of Casey’s other friends from the team.

She tries to not make a big deal about it though. She doesn’t need coach sitting them down again and having another ‘you need to love each other’ detention. Though that’s where this all started. Thinking back on it. If coached hadn’t have done that, maybe they wouldn’t have been close friends. Izzie thinks on that. She can’t believe that at one point she thought she hated Casey. Well, maybe not hated but didn’t like and wasn’t going to be friends with Casey. Look how that turned out. A friend that she has now alienated.

* * *

One day Izzie gets a text from a number she doesn’t recognize. She’s about to delete it when she sees Casey’s name in the text. Izzie opens the text and reads the full message.

**Hi Izzie, this is Casey’s mom. Don’t tell her but I took her phone while she was sleeping and got your number from it. It’s bad on my part, I know. But I can’t help it. I need to meddle in my children’s lives. I know it’s none of my business, but Casey says you guys got in a fight. Well, she’s been a mope for the last few weeks. Her birthday is coming up and I thought it would be a good idea to invite you over and then maybe you guys can talk. You could invite the whole track team too. That way it seems less obvious. I really enjoyed meeting you that one morning. You seem like a great girl and I think Casey needs great people in her life. Don’t tell her about this or she will kill me. I’m just trying to help. Think about it. And if you decide it’s something you want to do; I’ll give you the party details. Thanks. Casey’s mom.** _😊_

Izzie rolls her eyes. She knew Casey’s mom was a good one. This new information is interesting. So, Casey is moping about at home too.

But does she forgive Casey for what she did? Or was it Nate who kissed Casey, like Casey says. It’s so confusing to know what to believe. But with the way things have been going Izzie thinks now that Nate was lying. She told Casey to back off and she did.

Casey didn’t put up a fight. She didn’t scream and yell and say Nate was lying. Cuz Casey knows that would only make things worse. That would only draw more attention to herself and to Izzie and Nate. She doesn’t want that. She knows Izzie wouldn’t want that. That shows that Casey is a good friend still even though they aren’t friends at the moment.

But this also means that Izzie is going to be the one who changes things between them. This is the prefect opportunity. And, god, she misses Casey. So bad. It feels like a part of her soul is missing, or something stupid like that. Not that she would ever admit that to anyone.

She reads the message again, smiling at it.

“What’s got you so happy?” Nate comes up to her and wraps an arm around her shoulder.

“Nothing.” She hides her phone from him and pulls away from him.

“Someone’s crabby today.” Nate accuses. “Actually, you’ve been crabby a lot lately.”

Izzie rolls her eyes. “I’m fine. Let’s go to class.”

She doesn’t pay much attention in her history class. All she can think about is the party. And seeing Casey and being able to talk to her again. She knows what she did was dumb, but Izzie panicked. She panicked and she did a mean and hurtful thing. Izzie knows she needs to apologize.

She didn’t want Casey kissing Nate. Or Nate kissing Casey, or however it went. She was jealous that Nate kissed Casey. And not in a ‘that’s my boyfriend don’t kiss him’ kind of why. She’s realized that. Doesn’t mean Izzie has come to term with it though. She likes Casey. And has feelings for her that she can’t explain. Like, she misses her, and she needs her in her life no matter what the capacity is.

Izzie is off in her own little world when the teacher asks her a question. She doesn’t hear it. It’s not until the teacher says she name that Izzie snaps out of it.

“What?”

“Just pay attention, please.”

“Sorry.” Izzie smiles, guilty.

She’ll have to text Mrs. Gardner back after school and confirm that she’ll come with the team.


	6. Chapter 6

Izzie debates what to wear to Casey’s birthday party. She knows it shouldn’t matter. She knows it’s silly and stupid but try telling her to not think about it. She wishes she didn’t think about everything so much. About her appearance and what she should wear. How she will be perceived by those around her.

But today is important. It’s her chance to apologize.

Izzie wonders how Casey will react when she sees her. Hopefully, it’s not with contempt or anger but she wouldn’t be surprised if Casey did. Izzie knows she’s got a big hill to climb. She knows she did an awful thing. Even if nobody else found out about the running shoes. Even if it’s only her and Casey that know what happened with the shoes. She needs to apologize and beg for forgiveness. Izzie can’t keep going on with Casey avoiding her like the plague. Even though she told Casey to. Izzie needs her friend back.

Izzie gets Quinn to drive them to Casey’s house. They show up and the house is full of people. The music hits them as soon as Izzie opens the door. She looks around before spotting Casey dancing with her brother. She smiles at the pair. She knows Casey is so good to her brother. This is just more proof of that.

She waits until Casey turns around. She smiles. Cool and collected, hands in her pockets. “Hey, Newton.” She nods at Casey. “Hey, Sam.”

Sam looks at Izzie with confusion. The mortified look on Casey’s face is hard to miss. Izzie bites her lip to try to quit smiling so much. That is until Casey runs out of the room. Izzie thinks, for the first time, that maybe showing up here wasn’t a good idea.

_Oh, shit._

Casey disappears into the kitchen. Izzie surveys the party. It’s not the lamest party she’s been to but, for a sixteenth birthday party thrown by a parent, it’s pretty darn good. It just shows again how much Casey’s mom wants to make an effort for Casey, even if she has messed up in the past.

Casey storms out of the kitchen in a rage. Izzie watches as she approaches the stairs. Sam says something about an ickle bickle. Izzie doesn’t know what that means but knows it must be something important to Sam since he’s so focused on it.

Casey stops at the foot of the stairs and screams at Sam. “Leave me alone. I don’t care about the ickle bickle or any of your stupid rituals. It’s not even about me. It’s just about Sam, Sam, Sam. Like everything else in my sorry ass life.”

Casey looks over at Izzie with that. They lock eyes. Izzie’s full of concern and remorse. She sees that Casey is angry and frustrated and just done with everyone in the room.

Izzie goes over to Sam after Casey storms upstairs. She figures she’ll give Casey some time to cool off. Then maybe she can go see how she’s doing.

Izzie sees him standing there, not knowing how to react. “Sam.” She gets his attention and nods towards the sunroom.

Sam nods in understanding and follows Izzie. They stand next to the couch awkwardly. “You’re here for Casey’s birthday?”

“I am.”

“Casey told me you broke up with her.” Sam informs her.

Izzie raises an eyebrow. She didn’t know she was such a hot topic in the Gardner household. “Did she?”

“Yeah.” Sam wrinkles up his nose, anxious. “I need to find the ickle bickle.”

“What’s the ickle bickle?”

“It’s a gorilla figurine that someone hides on Casey’s birthday and Casey and I have to look for it. It’s a birthday ritual.”

Izzie nods and hums.

Sam starts looking around the sunroom.

“I’m sorry Casey yelled at you.”

Sam nods. “She’s mad that our mom invited all these people. I don’t blame Casey. I wouldn’t like all these people around either for my birthday.”

“Do you want me and the team to go?” Izzie asks. She would leave if that’s what Sam wanted.

Sam is preoccupied but answers. “No.”

“Okay. Good luck with your search.”

“Thanks.” Sam says.

Izzie smiles and leaves Sam to his hunt. She passes Mrs. Gardner on her way out.

“Glad to see you decided to come.”

Izzie smiles sadly. “I don’t think Casey is though. She didn’t exactly seem thrilled to see me.”

Mrs. Gardner shakes her head. “She’s just mad at me. Go get a drink and have fun.” She squeezes Izzie’s elbow.

Izzie gives her a tight-lipped smile before doing as she told, getting a drink from the kitchen. Evan is standing in the corner awkwardly. “Evan.” She nods at him.

“Izzie.” He nods back.

“Surprised to see me?” Izzie asks as she pours her drink into a red cup.

“A little.” He sighs.

She knows he’s not the biggest fan of Casey’s Clayton friends. Izzie also knows that Casey told him all about what happened with Nate. She doesn’t blame Casey for that. Evan is her boyfriend. “Casey’s mom invited me. Well, the team.”

“I heard. She’s mad at her mom about that. Me too.” Evan brings a cup to his lips.

“Why’s she mad at you?” Izzie asks.

“Because i-“ Evan raises his hands and uses air quotes. “- _took sides_ with her mom.” He rolls his eyes.

Izzie nods. She takes her drink and goes back over to her teammates. Izzie thinks about dancing with some of Casey’s Newton friends but doesn’t really know any of them, so she stays put standing with the team.

There is a yell and Sam comes running out of the sunroom. “I found the ickle bickle.” He holds it high in the air. Izzie enjoys his enthusiasm.

Now is the time. She’ll just slip away while everyone’s attention is on Sam. “Here.” She hands her drink to Quinn and steps away from the group. Izzie looks at the stairs and takes a deep breath. It takes Izzie a moment, but she puts one foot in front of the other and climbs the stairs.

She stops at Casey’s door. Izzie listens for noises from the inside. She hears the sound of a party noise maker and smiles. She knocks.

Casey yells. “Leave me alone Mom or Evan.”

Izzie isn’t one of those people so she’s not going to leave her alone. Even if she were, nothing could stop her right now. She pushes the door open. “Hey.” She watches as Casey sits up in surprise. “Can I come in?”

“Okay.” Casey says awkwardly. She can tell Casey doesn’t know what to say or do, finding her as adorable as ever when she’s awkward.

Good thing, Izzie can guide how she wants this conversation to go. She’s been thinking about it since she got the text from Casey’s mom. What she was going to say. How she was going to apologize. She knows what she did was shitty. She knows she hurt Casey. She knows that she probably won’t be forgiven too easily.

“Your brother’s all jazzed up because he found this creepy little gorilla thingy.” Izzie tries to break the ice.

“It’s the ickle bickle.” Casey looks away when she says it. She can’t believe her birthday has turned into this.

“Yeah, that’s what it told me.” Izzie shoves her hands in her pockets, hoping not to look too awkward. “I like you guys.” If she starts with honesty, then Izzie thinks maybe she can get somewhere with Casey. Get her to know that she is genuine by saying she likes Casey’s family.

But when Casey looks away Izzie knows her time is limited to say what she needs to say. She sits down on the end of the bed next to Casey. “Dude, I’m sorry.” _Again with the dude?_ Casey just brings it out of her. “About everything.” Casey doesn’t say anything or make her stop so Izzie continues. “I was a dick. And I got jealous.” Here it goes. “And I was afraid of losing someone that I love.” Izzie lays it all out there.

“I would never come between you and Nate.”

_Nate?_

Izzie would laugh if she didn’t know that Casey was so clueless. She shakes her head. “Screw him.” She almost can’t believe she has to say this out loud and explain it to Casey. “No. I was afraid of losing you.” She side-eyes Casey, waiting for her reaction.

“Oh.”

She realizes Casey still doesn’t get it. “Before you got to Clayton, I felt so out of place. Like I couldn’t be myself.” And Izzie couldn’t. She wasn’t herself. She was always pretending. And then Casey came along, and she could relax around her and just be herself.

“And with Nate.” She going to explain this too. Make everything clear. “Our lives are just so different.”

“Yeah, like he’s a huge douche and you’re not.”

_There’s my funny, sarcastic Casey._

“Yes.”

That gets a smile out of Casey. _Finally._

“And then you and I got into that big fight and we stopped talking.” It hurts to talk about, but Izzie continues. “And I missed you.” She makes sure to emphasis it. “I like really, really missed you. And I just want my girl back.” She says it even though it sounds cheesy and needy.

An awkward silence follows. It’s so hard to read Casey right now. She just sits there, sitting. Izzie really wishes she would say something.

The silence is too much. “Sorry if that sounds stalkerish.” She tries to laugh it off.

“It does.” Casey looks at her. “But I feel the same.”

_Wait, what?_

“So, it’s cool.” Casey mumbles.

Izzie wants to scream but she knows that won’t help. She wants Casey to yell at her. She wants Casey to tell her that what she did was awful and terrible. She wants Casey to punish her for what she did and not forgive her so easily. But Casey is being Casey. And that’s one of the things she loves about Casey. Just how loyal and forgiving she can be.

She wipes her nervous sweaty palms on her legs and bites her lips together. She’s going to test if Casey actually really feels ‘the same’.

“Let’s forehead promise never to leave each other again.” It sounds so lame coming out of Izzie mouth. She knows, but she had to think of something quick. A way to get close to Casey again.

“Okay, what is that?”

She can see the doubt and hesitation in Casey’s eyes. “Come here, I’ll show you.” Nervous as all heck, Izzie climbs up onto the bed and sits facing Casey. She giggles as she leans in, the little butterflies in her stomach doing summersaults. Izzie presses her forehead to Casey’s, tucking her hair behind her ear nervously.

It’s awkward but accomplishes Izzie’s goal.

They stay there like that for a few moments. “That’s it.” Izzie hopes Casey doesn’t think this is the lamest things she’s ever heard of. “Is it obvious I just made this up?” She whispers and hopes Casey doesn’t make fun of her for it.

The seconds pass and it’s a little less awkward and turns a little softer and gentler. Intimate. Izzie watches as Casey’s eyes shift from hers to her lips and back. Casey then closes her eyes. Izzie wonders if she might float away. Euphoric. This is it. This is the moment. She can’t believe it’s finally going to happen. She leans in and is about to kiss Casey.

The bedroom door opens. “Hey Casey-“

They jump apart. The spell is broken.

“Mom-“

Izzie looks away, rubs her nose with her thumb and index finger, trying to recover. _Damn it._

“Oh, sorry.” Mrs. Gardner says softly. “I just um-“ She has to collect her own thoughts after what she just saw. “I just wanted to let you know that- cake’s ready.”

“Yeah.” Casey is eager for her mom to leave the room. “We’re gonna be down in a second.”

Izzie worries about what Casey mom thinks of her now. She worries her hands together in her lap. “Hi, Mrs. Gardner.” She already saw her downstairs, so it doesn’t really make any sense to say hi again but she’s nervous and doesn’t know what else to do.

The bedroom door closes, and she can’t even look at Casey. It’s too awkward. Now what?

_Where do we go from here?_

Casey hops up first. “Let’s get cake.” She nearly runs out of the room.

Izzie sighs and follows after her. “Newton, wait.” She wants to make sure they are alright. That they’re going to be alright.

Casey stops at the top of the stairs and turns to look at Izzie. “What’s up?”

“Are we good?” Izzie asks, worried that they might not be after what she just tried to do. But she could feel it. She could feel Casey and see Casey wanting the same thing. She’s not just making it up. She can’t be.

“Yeah, we’re good.” Casey says crisply. She gestures for Izzie to descend the stairs first. They share a smile and Izzie goes down.

First thing Izzie sees at the bottom of the stairs is Evan. Talk about making an awkward situation even more awkward. Like, hey bro, I just tried to kiss your girlfriend.

It’s even worse when Casey comes down. “I’m sorry I was being lame earlier.” And kisses Evan right in front of her, wrapping her arms around Evan’s shoulder.

The butterflies that were in Izzie stomach just all died. She sees more than she needs to see before she has to walk away.

Izzie goes over by the group with the cake. Mrs. Gardner squeezes her shoulder, with an empathic smile, as they pass each other, Elsa on her way to pull Casey over to the cake.

_Casey’s mom doesn’t hate me, at least._

They all stand around and start the happy birthday song before Elsa stops them because Casey hates that song. Izzie stands next to Casey awkwardly. She would leave right now if it weren’t considered rude. It doesn’t go unnoticed that most everyone else has left or been told to leave. All the remains are Casey’s family, her closest friends, and her boyfriend. Izzie feels a little out of place. But like she said earlier, she likes Casey’s family and wants to be around them.

Sam starts with Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Sharice comes over and buts her way in between Izzie and Casey, putting her arm around Casey and pushing Izzie out of the way.

_Rude._

Izzie wonders if this is her punishment for what she did to Casey. Surely, Sharice knows about what happened with Nate. She takes a step back and shoves her hands back into her pocket, taking her punishment in silence.

Izzie makes her way home right after cake.

“How was the party?” Elijah asks.

“Fine.” Izzie mumbles.

“So, are you bestest friends with your friend again?” He continues. The boy asks way too many questions. He’s got no filter.

Izzie doesn’t know why she tells her siblings so much. This is what she gets for it.

“I don’t know. I think so but I don’t know.” Izzie isn’t going to explain what happened to Elijah. She’s not even sure she understands. One on hand, she feels better that she talked to Casey and got to apologize. But on the other, she knows they aren’t on the best of terms. It’s not like things are going just go back to the way they were before. She knows she’s going to have to earn Casey’s trust back. And then she tried to kiss her and made everything all awkward.

“Friendships can be hard.” He says like he’s some old wise guru. “Like one time, Tommy went to play with this girl in our class. I was mad that he didn’t want to play with me and wanted to play with a girl instead.”

Izzie chuckles. Elijah doesn’t know how right he is. “I feel ya.” Except it’s not some girl, it’s Evan.

“Tommy played with me the next day, but it was a little weird at first. We’re over it now though.”

Izzie laughs. “Good.” She hopes she and Casey can be like her brother and Tommy and get over it.


	7. Chapter 7

Like Elijah said. It’s weird at first. The benefit that Izzie has is that Evan doesn’t go to their school. She finds Casey Monday morning at school. Casey smiles, happy to see her. But Izzie notices how Casey takes a step back when she bumps into her shoulder playfully. She tries to not let it bother her too much, but it does.

“You wanna get together and study tomorrow?”

“Oh.” Casey hesitates. “I’ll have to check with my parents. But I’ll let you know.”

Izzie frowns. She can feel that something is off with Casey. “Okay, let me know. I have to go do something. I’ll see you at practice?” She hopes they can start running together again. Izzie has missed her running partner.

She knows Coach hates it because she doesn’t want a repeat of Izzie falling and getting hurt but Izzie and Casey always push each other to their limits during practice to be the best they can be. It’s not so much a competition but a way to improve.

Izzie knows where to find Nate. After what happened, or didn’t happen, at Casey’s party Izzie has something she needs to do. She was spurred on, of all things, by watching Casey kiss Evan. She knew in that moment what she had to do. Dump Nate. So, she focuses on that and not Casey being evasive.

“Nate.” He has his back to her as Izzie walks up. He’s talking to his buddies.

“Yes.” Nate spins around.

“I’m breaking up with you.” She purses her lips. There she did it. Done. Over with. No more pretending.

Nate nods and looks Izzie up and down. “Is this because I kissed Casey?”

Izzie scoffs. “Casey was right. You are a douche.” She hears his buddies snicker behind him. Izzie ignores them. “But nice of you to finally admit to it.” With that, Izzie turns and leaves. “What an asshole.” She mumbles to herself. She never should have trusted and believed him. Sure, Izzie also used him for her own benefit, but she did trust him.

* * *

The next morning Izzie texts Casey. They were supposed to study tonight. She wants to know if that’s still planned and if she needs Lisa to watch the kids.

**Newton!!! We on for studying tonight?!**

Izzie does her hair while she waits for a reply. The phone buzzes and she looks at it.

**Can’t tonight. Family stuff.**

Izzie’s shoulders sag. She can’t help the feeling that Casey is avoiding her on purpose. Well, maybe not avoiding her, but actively not wanting to hang out. They still see each other at school and at practice and that’s fine, but it seems like she’s trying to avoid anything more than that.

She sighs and grabs her backpack. “Time to go, guys.” She calls out to her siblings. She sees them to the bus stop and then heads to school herself.

Izzie just wants to get Casey alone. Not in a creepy way, but when they are alone nothing else matters. Just to hang out and feel normal. Izzie needs normal in her life right now.

She texts Casey that night to ask how ‘family stuff’ is. **How’s family time?**

Izzie gets a response soon after. **Same old same old.**

Izzie rolls her eyes at Casey’s response. The girl despises spending time with her family and playing a board game or whatever it is that they do. Izzie would kill to be able to do that. Instead, she has to deal with drug addiction, her mother’s trash boyfriends, and fighting, and generally bad situations.

* * *

Izzie hates that she feels so needy and pathetic. She hates that Casey doesn’t want to spend any more time with her than she is required to. She knows why she’s doing it though. She can’t really blame Casey. They text each other but it’s never anything that’s substantial. Izzie knows that today is Sam’s graduation. She knows Casey has to go. She wishes that they could hang out instead. Track season and school are already over for Clayton Prep. That means unless Casey changes her tune pretty soon, they won’t be seeing much of each other over the summer.

When Izzie said she wanted her girl back, she meant it. It wasn’t just something to say. She misses Casey. She misses being around her and being able to talk to her about anything. She misses the feeling she gets being around Casey. So Izzie looks through the photos on her phone. She stops at each photo of the pair of them. There are only half a dozen but she cherishes each one.

She sends Casey a picture of the two of them smiling from ear to ear from the night they made the fort in Casey’s living room. That was such a great night. Until Nate showed up, of course.

**Found this on my phone HAHA**

Izzie thinks that was a simpler time. She wishes she could go back to that day, before everything got complicated. When things with them were simple and easy. But she’s the only one to blame for where they are right now. Well, and Nate. He deserves some of the blame.

She’s not expecting a reply from Casey. So, Izzie is surprised when her phone buzzes a minute later.

**Hang out later?**

She has to read it twice before the words register.

**Yeah.** She sends back right away. Simple enough. Not too over eager.

_Doesn’t seem desperate._

Casey doesn’t text her back for a few hours. Izzie figures she’s busy with graduation stuff. She tries not to worry too much about it.

It gives her the time to pick out something to wear. Something cute but casual.

“Oh, there you are?” Her mom sticks her head into the bedroom. She eyes Izzie. “Why are you hiding out in here?” She looks at the younger children.

Izzie is holding up outfits trying to decide on what to wear and getting input from her siblings.

“Hot date tonight?” She eyes her oldest daughter.

Izzie drops the outfit in her hand down to her side. “No.”

“Elijah said you broke up with Nate.” The mother mentions.

Izzie doesn’t reply. She doesn’t tell her mother anything and for good reason. She can’t blame the kids for saying something. It was probably just something that slipped out of his mouth not knowing he even said it.

“That’s a shame. You coulda milked that boy for thousands. I see he’s bought you plenty of clothes.” Her eyes linger on Izzie’s clothes on the bed.

Izzie rolls her eyes. “Do you need something?”

“I just wanted to know if you kids wanted to go to the store with me and Tyler.”

“I’ll come.” Elijah hops off the bed.

“I’ll stay here.” Olivia proclaims. She wants to watch Izzie pick an outfit.

“Suit yourself. If you come with, maybe, I’ll buy you a treat.” She tries to bribe Olivia to not stick with Izzie.

That doesn’t entice Olivia any.

“Fine.” She eyes Izzie again. “Will you be here tonight, Isabella?”

“I won’t be. I’m going out.”

“I thought you didn’t have a date.” Her mom snarks.

Izzie rolls her eyes. “I don’t.”

“You should. Hook another one of those rich boys.” Her mother suggests.

She’s so sick of her mom’s comments.

“She’s going out with her friend Casey.” Elijah supplies.

Izzie glares at him from across the room. The kid has terrible timing.

“Oh.” The mother looks her up and down again, judging her.

She doesn’t know what information her mother has on Casey. Probably only a few tidbits. Stuff the kids repeated that Izzie’s told them. But enough for her mother to prejudge Casey, she knows.

“What?” Izzie says angerly.

Her mom shakes her head. “Nothing.” She shrugs. “Let’s go, Elijah.”

“What was that about?” Olivia asks after their mom is gone.

Izzie sighs. “Don’t worry about it. She’s just being nasty. She thinks she knows it all, but she doesn’t have any idea.”

Olivia hums. “I think you should just wear that t-shirt you’re wearing and put a zip up hoodie over it. So, it’s easy to take off if you get too warm.”

“Good idea. I like that.” Izzie smiles over at her little sister. “Thanks.”

* * *

Izzie waits out on the front step at quarter to seven. Casey said she would be arriving at seven to pick her up. And just as she said Casey pulls up outside the building a minute before seven. Izzie hops to her feet and hurries over to the car.

“Waiting for me?” Casey smirks.

Izzie rolls her eyes. “My brother and sister were driving me crazy.” It’s a lie. She was driving herself crazy. Izzie figured cool, fresh evening air would help. It didn’t. Her mind spins on a few things. What they are going to do. Whether they are going somewhere to eat. She has no idea.

So, she asks. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” Casey glances over but returns her eyes to the road right away.

“I didn’t know you drove.” That’s new.

“I do now. It’s a recent development. I had that birthday and all.” Casey takes a corner. “I was lucky enough that my parents are celebrating with Sam tonight and I could borrow my mom’s car for this.”

They pass one town and then another.

“Where on earth are we going, Newton?” Izzie asks with a giggle.

Casey smirks. “It’s a surprise.”

Izzie smiles and looks out the passenger’s side window to hide it from Casey. Generally, Izzie doesn’t like the ideas of surprises. Mostly because she’s had too many bad surprises in her life. But she knows if Casey wants to surprise her, that it can’t be a bad surprise. At least, she hopes not.

They pass another town before Casey pulls into a 7-Eleven in the next town.

“Okay, so what’s here?” Izzie asks around her smile, the one that’s been on her face since Casey said it was a surprise. They could have just gone to the 7-Eleven in their town. Why this one?

“Cotton candy Slurpee’s. Come on.” Casey gets out of the car. She’s really looking forward to this. They stopped here after a track meet and they had the cotton candy flavor at this 7-Eleven and Casey knew they had to come back.

They go in and go right to the Slurpee machine. Sure enough, Izzie sees cotton candy flavor. It’s still here. “I can’t believe this.”

Casey gets a cup and starts to get her Slurpee. Izzie gets a cup and waits. As she waits, she leans into Casey side, a hand on her shoulder from the back.

Casey glances over at her and smiles tight-lipped before returning her attention to her Slurpee so it doesn’t overflow the cup. She puts a cover on. “I’m going to look at the snacks.”

She leaves Izzie to fill her own cup. Izzie, then, finds Casey in the snack aisle.

“Twizzlers or Milk Duds?”

Izzie grins. She points to the Twizzlers. “They’re my favorite.”

“We’re going to have the biggest sugar rush tonight.” Casey grins conspiratorially. She grabs both the Milk Duds and Twizzlers.

Izzie bites her lip around a grin. This is great. She feels great. Good, simple, fun. Nothing complicated. No pressure to be someone she’s not.

They pay and head back to the car. Sitting there, eating their candy and slurping their Slurpee’s.

“I can’t believe we drove four towns away just to find a 7-11 that serves cotton candy Slurpee’s.” Izzie’s Slurpee is nearly gone at this point. It’s gone surprisingly quickly. Maybe she should have slowed down and let it last longer. It doesn’t really matter. The Slurpee that is. What matters is that she is able to spend time with Casey.

“I have no regrets.” Casey tells her. She also has other news. “So, guess what?” She waits for Izzie to say something, but Izzie has no idea what Casey is going to say. “I had sex again.”

_Really, Casey?_ _You just had to say that._

Izzie cringes internally. She rolls her eyes. “With Evan?” It better not be with anyone other than Evan, as far as Izzie is concerned.

Casey gets snotty about it. “No, with myself.”

Izzie thinks that would’ve been better.

“Still counts though, right?”

“Shut up.” Izzie pleads quietly. She doesn’t want to hear this. She can’t. It’s too painful.

“Yeah, with Evan.”

She just wishes Casey would shut up about Evan, but luck isn’t on her side tonight.

“I really love him.”

Izzie rests her head back against the headrest. “I know you do.” For as weird and difficult as this is, Izzie knows that what Casey is saying about Evan is true.

“It’s just sometimes a thing feels like- so right.” Casey says quietly.

_Oh._

Izzie knows they’re not talking about Evan anymore. She bites her lip trying to decide if she believes what Casey is saying.

“Ya know?” Casey adds.

She does know. Izzie knows. She lets out the breath of air that she was holding in. This is a moment. Izzie knows it is. It feels right. She’s going to do that thing again where she puts herself out there with the real possibility of getting denied or rejected but Izzie has to if they are ever going to figure this out.

Izzie reaches down with her left hand, between the front seats. She doesn’t move otherwise. Too afraid to scare Casey with any sudden movements. She waits a moment, adjusting, before moving her hand over and finding Casey’s hand with her pinky. She wraps her pinky around Casey’s. Izzie doesn’t look, though she wants to so badly. She worries her lip between her teeth. Those nervous butterflies are back in her stomach.

Slowly, bravely, Izzie moves her hand to cover Casey’s, to hold it. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath when Casey doesn’t pull away.

Her heart pounds in her chest when Casey flips her hand over and Izzie takes the opportunity for what it is and laces their fingers together. And then she’s holding Casey’s hand, in Casey’s mom’s car, four town’s away from where they live.

She hears Casey’s phone buzz and fears this is going to end way too soon. She swallows down the lump in her throat. Izzie doesn’t look but she feels Casey look at her phone. Whoever it is that is calling, Casey ignores. Izzie feels like that’s a win for her. She has to take a deep breath and remind herself to keep breathing so she doesn’t pass out from the nerves or excitement. Izzie makes it a point though not to turn her head, not to look over at Casey. Somehow, she knows if she would the spell would be broken, and their little moment would be over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this marks the end of the first part of this. i'm planning and working through the second part. hope to have another update soon.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the finish of slurpee night and then the surprise of going to florida for the summer

When Casey’s phone buzzes again Izzie grips onto her hand tighter. She worries her lips between her teeth. Izzie wishes that everyone would just leave them alone for five minutes. Casey picks up her phone, letting go of Izzie’s hand.

“Is everything okay?”

“It’s Elsa.” Casey reads the text out loud. “Hi, honey bear. Bear emoji. Can you please pick up a fire extinguisher on the way home?”

Izzie wrinkles up her face, perplexed. _What’s that about?_

She looks over at Casey and they burst into laughter.

“Yeah, so we should probably.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

_Say yeah again._

Izzie reaches for her seatbelt and Casey does the same. “Let’s go, honey bear.” She jokes. It sounds awful coming out of her mouth though. She bites her lip because of it.

_Never say that again._

“Awesome.” Casey cringes as she starts the car.

As they pull out of the 7-Eleven parking lot, Izzie thinks about where they are. She can’t believe they just drove four towns away to hold hands, in the dark, in a car, but they did and she’s super pumped about that. She bites her lip to keep from smiling too much about it.

The drive back to their town is only slightly awkward. Which is an improvement in Izzie’s opinion. Izzie turns on the radio and because she’s in such a good mood she sings along with the songs. It’s not something Izzie would normally do. She knows she doesn’t have the greatest singing voice but it’s not terrible and she doesn’t usually sing in front of other people. But like with most of her rules, Casey is the exception.

She evens gets Casey to join in on a few. Izzie makes sure not to distract her too much though because she knows Casey’s a new driver.

Casey pulls up outside Izzie’s apartment complex.

“Thanks for tonight.” Izzie turns to Casey and licks her lips. She’s not sure what to do next. She knows Casey isn’t ready for anything else. She’s just going to relish in tonight for a while.

“Sure. I had-“ Casey looks around the complex. “You really live here?”

“Yeah, where did you think I lived. We have an apartment on the right side of this building.” It seems like a strange question right now. It’s the last thing Izzie was thinking about. She looks out over the building.

Casey hums. “I guess I never asked. Should I have asked about it?”

Izzie giggles. “Don’t worry about it.” She reaches for the door. “I’ll text you tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Casey nods.

“Go home. Get that fire extinguisher to your mom.”

Casey nods, at a loss for words.

“I wonder what that’s about.” Izzie says as she gets out of the car.

“I’ll find out and let you know.”

“I can’t wait.” Izzie stands with her hand on the door. She looks back into the car and smiles her dimple smile. “Drive safe. Goodnight.”

Casey rolls her eyes. “Okay, mom.” But she smiles. “Goodnight.”

Izzie closes the door and walks to her building. She turns to see Casey backing out of the parking space she was in. Izzie waves as Casey shifts the car into drive. Just before she drives away Casey waves and smiles back.

Izzie checks the apartment door. It’s unlocked. She goes right in without having to fish her key out of her pocket. She shuts the door and before she can really enter the room, she hears her mom’s voice.

“How was your date?”

The smile that was on Izzie’s face slips. “I wasn’t on a date.”

“You sure?” Her mother raises an eyebrow at her. “Picking an outfit. Doing your hair. Going off into the night. Sounds like a date to me.”

“It wasn’t, so you can drop it.” Izzie walks past her mom. She thinks that’s going to be the end of the conversation. It’s not though.

Her mother grabs her wrist as she walks by, stopping Izzie. “Then what was that stupid smile on your face when you walked in the door.”

“Is it illegal to smile?” Izzie throws back. “Let go of me.” She tries to pull her wrist from her mother’s grip but it’s too tight.

“You’re hiding something from me and I don’t like it.” Her mother slaps Izzie wrist away from her.

Izzie rolls her eyes. She tries to hide everything from her mother. This isn’t anything new.

She goes into her room and changes for bed. Izzie lays awake staring up at the ceiling. Playing the evening over and over in her head. She doesn’t know what it means or where it’s going to lead. Izzie thinks its progress, though. A positive thing. She thinks about how it felt to have Casey’s hand in hers. To have that soft, and somewhat clammy, skin pressed to hers. The feeling of their interlocked fingers, filling the gaps, fitting together perfectly. Izzie brings her left hand up in front of her face. She makes a fist before opening it and looking at the palm of her hand through the dark. She turns the hand over and looks at the back of it. Smiling before it turns into a little chuckle and then a laugh. Izzie rolls over and buries her laugh in her pillow as to not wake her brother and sister.

* * *

Izzie would have loved to sleep in the following morning, but she doesn’t get the chance. There’s a loud ruckus out in the kitchen. She gets out of bed to see what’s going on. She thought maybe this morning she would text Casey and ask if she wanted to go on a run together. That idea flies out the window when she sees what’s happening in the kitchen.

Tyler and her mom are standing on one side of the room and her grandmother stands in the doorway. Some sort of arguement is taking place.

“What’s going on?”

“She’s trying to steal my kids from me.” Izzie’s mother accuses.

“What?” Izzie asks, confused.

“I’m not trying to steal your kids. I’m trying to save them. There’s a big difference.” Grandma corrects.

Izzie folds her arms across her chest and listens to the argument.

“STEALING.” Her mother yells and lunges forward.

Tyler grabs her by the shoulders, so she doesn’t make it very far.

“Not stealing. You want someone to steal your kids. Keep doing what you’re doing, and the government will come and steal your kids and you won’t get them back.”

Izzie has tried very hard for that not to happen. For her siblings to have clean clothes on when they go to school. To be showered and clean. To not ever get in her mother’s way when she’s angry, or any of her boyfriend for that matter. So they don’t get hit or punched or something that would leave cuts or scratches or bruises. She keeps them safe so that Child Protective Services doesn’t get involved. And so far, they’ve been able to avoid that.

That little factoid knocks Izzie’s mom back into reality. “Whatever. You’re a bitch.” She folds her arms over her chest. “Do whatever you want. But those are my kids.”

Izzie’s grandmother rolls her eyes. She directs her next words at Izzie. “Pack a bag. And get your brother and sister to pack a bag as well.”

“Where are we going?” Izzie asks. This is sudden.

“Your grandmother is stealing you from me to take to you to Florida.”

Izzie’s mouth drops open. She doesn’t know what to say and no words come out. She’s too stunned to speak.

Her grandma shrugs. “You are going to spend the summer with your uncle in Florida.”

“But-“ Izzie mumbles. “But-“ Her thoughts spin in her brain so fast that she can’t focus on any of them at once. “What about-“ One sticks. But she doesn’t say it out loud.

_Casey._

“N-no. I can’t.”

“You can and you will. Go pack a bag.” Her grandma instructs.

Izzie grimaces and looks over to her mother, hoping there’s something she will do. It’s unlikely since her mother is the reason they are in this situation. She knows she’s a minor still and doesn’t have much say in what’s happening here. She knows her grandmother is doing this for her and her siblings own good, but that doesn’t make it any better. “But what if I-“

Her grandma points at Izzie’s bedroom. “No buts. Go. Pack. A. Bag.”

Izzie sighs. She knows she can’t argue with her grandma about this. She turns with one last glare at her mother, and Tyler, who’s standing there in only a pair of boxers on, before going into her bedroom.

“Get out of bed.” Her siblings don’t move. “I know you’re both awake. You need to pack a bag.”

“Where are we going?” There is fear in Elijah’s voice.

Izzie shifts. She knows she has to be strong for them. She clears her throat. “Get up and pack a bag, please. We are going to Florida for summer break.”

“To visit Uncle Johnny?” Elijah asks as he climbs out of his bunk.

“Yeah.”

By the time the three come out of their room, grandma has baby Anastasia all packed up and sitting on her hip. “Izzie, grab the play pen.”

“Mom?” Elijah asks, stopping and standing next to his mother.

She puts a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay. You’ll be okay. You’re going to have a fun summer with your uncle in Florida. I’ll see you soon.”

Olivia doesn’t bother with her mother. She walks right over to her grandmother, ready to leave.

“Come on, Eli.” Grandma says and leads them out the door.

Izzie folds up the playpen and carries it under her arm. She gets to the door and makes sure the kids are out of earshot. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but when I get back you better have your shit together.” Izzie’s future is now in jeopardy. At Clayton. On the track team. She knows she has to return here, no matter what happens, but if her mother keeps fucking up there’s a real possibility that she might not return. And that’s scary.

Izzie throws her bag and the playpen in the trunk of her grandma’s car before getting in the front seat. She stares over at their apartment building with the hope of returning here one day soon.

She knows she has to go. She knows it’s what’s best. She knows this but her brain scrambles for a way to got out of it. Maybe there’s somewhere she could stay. Maybe she could get a job. But does she want to stay here, at the apartment, with her mom and her shitty boyfriend? No. But she doesn’t want to leave either. Especially right now. Not after last night. But she doesn’t feel like she has a choice.

Grandma gets in. “I would’ve done this sooner, but I had to save up some money. And you kids were still in school. This will be good for you. A summer in Florida.”

“Maybe I could stay here. Stay with a friend or something.”

Her grandma looks over at Izzie as she drives them out of town. “For nearly three months? Talk about overstaying your welcome.”

Izzie frowns. She doesn’t know what to do. “Can we at least make a stop before we leave?” Her lone plea.

Her grandma sighs loudly. “Where?”

She doesn’t want to be a menace or a pain in the ass and she knows her grandma doesn’t want to stop anywhere. “My friend’s house. The one you dropped me off at before.”

Grandma doesn’t say anything but heads in that direction.

It’s early yet when they pull up. She doesn’t want to wake anyone if they are still sleeping. Izzie stands on the front porch. She looks at the door and then back at the car at her grandma and her siblings, debating what to do. She’s about to go back to the car without knocking but the door opens.

“Izzie?” It’s Elsa.

“Hi.” Izzie says down at her feet. “Is New- is Casey here?” She corrects herself.

“She’s still sleeping.” Elsa tells her.

“Oh.” She doesn’t know what to do now. Izzie kicks the toe of her shoe against the porch, still not looking at Casey’s mom.

But Casey’s mom takes in the sight of the girl in front of her. Clearly something is wrong. She looks out and see the car and narrows her eyes. “Come in here.” She pulls Izzie inside.

“I, uh, I-“ Izzie stutters awkwardly.

“Do you want me to go wake her or do you want to?” Elsa gives her the option.

Izzie looks up now, for the first time. “Can I?” She whispers.

Elsa smiles. “Of course.” She nods at the stairs.

Izzie takes off. She knows she doesn’t have much time. She shouldn’t make her grandma wait any longer than is necessary. She takes the stairs two at a time. Izzie stops at Casey’s bedroom door. She grips the doorknob and knocks.

_The last time I was in this room…_

She pushes the door open and looks inside. Casey is still asleep; she didn’t hear the knock. Izzie steps into the room and closes the door behind her.

“Go away, mom.”

“I’m not your mom.” Izzie says around a smile.

Casey bolts up in bed, her hair all over the place. “What? What are you doing-“

Izzie crosses the room. She sits on the edge of the bed, next to Casey. “I needed to see you before I leave.”

“Leave?”

“I’m going to Florida.” Izzie says.

“Florida?”

“I’ll be gone all summer probably.”

“All summer?” Casey is so confused. She blinks dramatically, trying to make sense of this. “Since when?”

“Now. This morning.” Izzie worries her hands together in her lap. “I had to see you.” She knows she sounds desperate but doesn’t care.

Casey nods. She doesn’t understand what is happening right now but knows enough. “Come here.” She opens up for a hug.

Izzie leans in and wraps her arms around Casey holding her tight. “I’m going to miss you.” She squeezes her arms around Casey as tight as she can.

“I’ll miss you too.” Casey whispers in her ear.

“I’ll text you. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’ll keep you informed.” Izzie releases from the hug. She looks right into Casey’s eyes. She’s not sure what she’s looking for. Or if she’s looking for anything. Maybe it’s more of a memorization thing. Trying to remember as much as she can about Casey before she doesn’t see her for three months. So hopes it’s only that long but the future is uncertain right now.

“I have to go. My grandma and the kids are waiting.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Izzie stands, not sure what else to say. “Bye.” She smiles sadly and walks backwards away from Casey’s bed.

“Bye.” Casey whispers.

Tears threaten to fall as Izzie hurries back down the stairs. She nearly blows by Mrs. Gardner in her haste.

“Izzie?”

Izzie rushes over to her and wraps Elsa in a tight hug. “Thank you.” _Thank you for letting me see Casey before I go._

“I have to go.” She mumbles and pulls away. She’s out the door before any questions can be asked. Izzie jogs over the car. They have to leave as soon as possible or Izzie is going to turn into an uncontrollable mess. “Let’s go.” She mumbles as she hops back into the front seat.

Her grandma doesn’t waste any time in putting the car in reverse and backing out of the driveway. They have a long drive ahead of them.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Izzie's summer in Florida

They stop for something to eat at dinner time. Izzie drives after that. The rest of the way to Florida. She spent most of the morning thinking about what’s happening. And most of the afternoon mourning her plans for the summer and mourning the thought of spending time with Casey. But now she shuts all of that out and just drives. There’s something about driving a long distance on a stretch of road that has no stop signs or stops lights, no towns; just open interstate with no distractions that is peaceful, freeing. Just an open road with all of its possibilities.

Except that they have a destination. Florida. She’s never been, but she doesn’t feel like it’s going to be a great experience. It’s full of old people and tourist. Izzie hopes to luck out and that they won’t be stuck living in an area with either.

“I’m sorry.”

Izzie hums.

“I’m sorry that I’ve ripped you from your life. You’re nearly seventeen and you have a life. The little ones, it’s so much easier for them, in those terms. They have far less going on. Sure, they’ll miss their friends and playing with them this summer but you- you have track and private school and your friends. It’ll be harder for you. I know.”

Izzie doesn’t say anything. This is all true.

Her grandma puts a hand on her forearm. “So I’m sorry. Would you like to know the plan? If it makes it any better.”

“Sure.”

“I’m going to go back and deal with your mother. I think having your guys gone will knock some sense back into her. I or she need to get Tyler out of the picture. She needs to refocus on what’s important. And that’s keeping her job and being able to take care of you kids. I know you will all have a good summer with Johnny. I’ve already spoken to him.” Grandma looks into the backseat. The three are all asleep. “Olivia and Elijah will be enrolled in camps and activities and sports. All sorts of things to keep them busy. And you, can do whatever you want. If it’s camps or sports or activities that’s fine. If it’s none of those things, that’s also fine. But I suggest you do something to keep your mind occupied.”

“Maybe I’ll get a job.” The thought has crossed Izzie’s mind a few times today. If she doesn’t have to watch the kids, then she has time for a job and she can make a bit of money this summer and save it up.

“That sounds wonderful.” Her grandma pats at her arm before letting it go.

* * *

When they arrive at her uncle’s house it’s late at night. They are all thrown into rooms that are unfamiliar. Izzie gets her own room though. So that’s a bonus. She sleeps in the next morning. The kids all do. When Izzie gets up and finds her way down to the kitchen her grandma is sitting at the table with Johnny and his wife, Melissa. They don’t have any kids of their own but do a have nice modern house with all the amenities and creature comforts.

“Good morning, Isabella. Come join us.”

“It’s Izzie.” She grumbles.

“Sorry, right.” Johnny apologizes. “I forget. It’s just that I don’t see you often so-“ He shrugs.

“Well, it sounds like you’ll be seeing a lot of me now.” Izzie plops into a chair. “What have I interrupted?”

Johnny hums. “Well, we were just discussing plans and schedules. When your bother and sister wake up we will go over house rules. You need to follow the rules as well. And once you are all settled, we will go over activities that you all can sign up for.”

“Is there someplace I can run?” Izzie asks.

“Run?” Melissa asks.

“Izzie is the star of her track team.” Grandma supplies.

_Not anymore. Casey is now._

The adults keep talking while Izzie zones out. She thinks about track and running. About how she’s going to miss all of these opportunities to run with Casey this summer. For them to train together, to get better, to improve their times, to push each other.

“Izzie?”

Izzie hums. “Sorry.”

“There is a club that we are members of. You can run there.”

Izzie scrunches up her brow. “I want to run outside. On like a path or a trail or something. Not in a cage.”

“Oh.” Melissa is a little taken aback at Izzie bluntness.

“We also have local parks and trails.” Johnny supplies.

“Good. Someone will show me sometime?” Izzie asks.

“Yes, of course.”

“Good. Can I have something to eat?” Izzie hates that she has to ask.

“Oh, yes. What would you like? We had omelets.”

“Cereal is fine.” Izzie’s not too picky.

The day is mostly a blur. Learning what to do and not to do around the house. Learning where everything is. It’s going to take time to get used to. Izzie likes that she has her own room and some privacy though.

Elijah and Olivia are sharing a room. And Anastasia is sleeping in Johnny and Melissa’s room for now.

She’s avoided contacting Casey. She knows she said she’d keep her informed on what was going on, but it’s all been so hectic, and Izzie hasn’t been able to bring herself to text or call Casey. But she knows she can’t let it go for too long.

That night, before bed she sends Casey a text.

**Hey, we made it to Florida. Sorry I didn’t text sooner. There’s a lot going on. It looks like we are going to be here all summer. I’m super bummed about that. I think I’m going to go for a run in the mornings before it gets too hot outside. I’ll be thinking about how I could be running with you.**

She hits send hoping it’s not too much. Izzie awaits anxiously for a reply.

* * *

During the first week, Izzie gets a running routine down. She also applies for a few jobs. One of which asks her to come in for an interview.

“How’d it go?” Johnny asks when Izzie gets back to the car. She had asked him to drive her too the interview. She was nervous going into it. It’s not like Izzie has ever gone to a job interview before. The only interview she’s every had was for Clayton. That was more like a conversation or discussion than an interview.

“I got the job.” Izzie is proud of herself. It’s only going to be a part time job, but it will be something productive to occupy her time in Florida. In addition, the ability to make a little money.

“That’s wonderful. Congrats.”

Izzie smiles.

“Let’s go to the bank and open you an account.” Johnny suggests.

Izzie didn’t think of that. But it’s a good idea now that she hears it. Izzie is excited about the prospect of earning money and having something of her own. It’s just a start but everybody has to start somewhere.

“Thank you, Uncle Johnny. To be honest, I’m not thrilled to be here in Florida for the summer. But I see this as an opportunity to learn and earn some money and get my first job under my belt.” Izzie tells him earnestly.

He turns in his seat and reaches over, putting a hand on Izzie’s shoulder. “You’re a good kid, with a good head on your shoulders. I can see you are going to go far in life. You’re are going to do big things Izzie; I can feel it. And I’m sorry that your home life is a mess. And I feel like I’m doing what I can to help this summer. I just want you to know that.”

“Thanks.” Izzie ducks her head, not good with praise from adults.

“Let’s get over to the bank.” He claps his hands together and starts the car. “I’ve got to head over to the office later, but we will do this first. It’s a big day.”

Izzie and Johnny come back from her job interview and the bank. Not only did she go on her first job interview, Izzie’s also just opened her first bank account.

“How’d it go?” Melissa asks.

“Well, I got the job.” Izzie isn’t completely thrilled about it but it’s a job. And for someone with no previous experience it’s basically starting from the bottom.

“That’s wonderful.”

“Yes, being a waitress at a restaurant for old people is wonderful.” The sarcasm oozes from Izzie. She grabs a water from the fridge. “I’ll be in my room if you need me.”

Izzie knocks on her brother and sister’s door. She opens it and neither of them are in there. They probably aren’t home yet. Izzie can’t remember what activity they had planned for today. Swimming lessons, maybe. She has a hard time keeping track of their schedules now that they are so busy. It’s good though. They are learning so many new things and having so much fun.

* * *

At first, the solo bedroom is great, and she has her privacy for the first time in her life. But after the first two weeks Izzie starts to get lonely. That same lonely feeling she had before she met Casey. She knows now, that back then she was a hollow person. She didn’t realize it at the time, but Izzie was just going through the motions of life but not enjoying it. Not knowing what she was doing or what was missing.

She calls Casey on one of those lonely nights. They usually just text each other but she needs to hear her voice. There’s just something more personal about talk on the phone verses text message.

“Hey, Iz. Hold on.”

She can hear Evan in the background. Izzie frowns. She wanted to talk to Casey. And not have either one of them filter what they are saying because Evan is listening.

“Okay, what’s up?”

“Is it a bad time?” Izzie feels like it’s a bad time.

“No, no. Evan and I were just hanging out.”

“I can call you back some other time.” Izzie is ready to hang up.

“Hey.” Casey whispers. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Izzie shakes her head. She feels the tears pricking at her eyes. She closes them. “I just-“ She tries to make sure her voice doesn’t shake when she talks. “I guess I miss home. As dumb as that is.”

“Oh. Well, not much is different here.”

_Yeah, I can tell._

“Sam is still Sam. My mom is still a home wrecker. I’m trying to keep up on my training. Oh, Evan got a job at Don’s Pizza. That’s different.” Casey lists off what everyone is up to.

Izzie hums. She doesn’t care about Evan or his job.

“I get free pizza like once a week. It’s such a great perk.” Casey raves.

“I bet.” Izzie licks her lips. “I’ll let you go. I just wanted to- I’ll let you go.” She mumbles. “Bye.” It’s a whisper as she hangs up the phone.

Izzie groans and stares up at the ceiling. The silence in her room deafening. Her phone buzzes with an incoming text. She rolls her eyes when she sees it’s from Casey.

**Are you okay?**

Izzie enjoys the thought. At least Casey cares. She types out a reply.

**Yep. I just don’t have any friends here, so it’s boring.**

It’s not a total lie. She was just hoping to talk to Casey without Evan being around. It’s rather annoying that he’s around all the time. He is Casey’s boyfriend and all but still. Izzie had thought that maybe that would change after the night they went to get Slurpee’s. But then she left town the very next morning. So, Izzie thinks that probably wasn’t too helpful. It appears Casey’s life is continuing on just as it was, now that Izzie isn’t around anymore.

Izzie spins her phone around in her hands waiting to see if Casey texts anything back.

**I’ll call you when Evan leaves.**

Izzie doesn’t reply to that. She doesn’t know when that’s going to be. Later tonight? Into the early hours of the morning? Tomorrow sometime? That leads to the thought of Evan staying the night and Izzie can’t think about that. She puts her phone on silent and tucks in for the night. She has to get up early in the morning anyway to get a run in before it becomes ungodly hot outside. The Florida heat is no joke in the summer.

* * *

It took a few weeks to get the hang of, but Izzie is doing well at her job. She’s a waitress at a restaurant that mostly caters to old people. She’s feeling down, and apparently it shows because one of the guests says something about it.

“Oh dear, are you ill?” A little old lady with somewhat blue hair asks her as she comes over to take the order for the table.

“No.” Izzie looks at the lady with confusion. “I’m fine.”

“You look sad, dear.”

Izzie wouldn’t describe what she feels as sad, but it might be something close. She’s just ready to be done with this summer. She’s ready to go back home. She’s ready to start track again. Her summer has been wonderful, and her uncle and his wife have been great to her and her siblings. It’s been marvelous for her brother and sister. They’ve gotten to do all these things they would have never done at home. But Izzie is homesick. She knows it’s stupid. She thought maybe she would grow to like Florida. But she didn’t. She knows it’s stupid to miss their crappy apartment in their little town, but she does. She misses her life there and feels like everyone is just moving along without her.

“What will you have?” She avoids the question and gets straight to the ordering.

She takes the orders of everyone at the table before bringing the order to the kitchen.

Izzie hands Juan the order. “What’s a matter, little lady?”

Izzie glares at him. They’ve developed a sort of kinship the last few months. They have a number of things in common, including a not so ideal home life. “Is it that obvious? A nosy old lady just asked me the same thing.”

Juan grins sympathetically. “Sorry, I think, you tend to wear your emotions on your face. It’s not bad thing but everybody can see them.”

He gets to work on the order. “You wanna talk about it?”

Izzie frowns. “Not really.”

“Is it boy trouble?” Juan jokes, trying to get Izzie to smile. He knows it’s not. Izzie has told him all about Casey.

She doesn’t smile though. “Shut up you.” Izzie licks her lips. “I think I’m homesick.”

“Ahhh!” He points a pair of tongs at her. “Get back to work.” He scolds playfully. “We’ll talk about this when our shifts are over.”

Izzie smiles, glad that at least she’s found someone her own age that she can talk to a little.

* * *

There are only two weeks left before Clayton starts again. Izzie doesn’t really want to go back to school but this summer has been difficult. It’s also been nice to not have to deal with any of her mother’s bullshit. And it’s nice to not have to worry about the kids all the time. She still worries about them though.

That week they set out on their journey back north. The ride seems to take forever. All day. They leave super super early and don’t get back until after ten that night. Izzie is just itching to jump out of the car as soon as they stop. The air is cooler than in Florida but not by much. It’s less humid for sure. It is nighttime though too.

The kids were asleep, and she grabs the baby from the car and heads towards their apartment. The two other kids following in tow. She’s not sure what she’s going to find but her grandma says that Tyler is gone.

She opens the door, and their mother pops up from the couch. The tv is on and the place is super clean for once. It’s almost shocking. It’s not like they lived in squalor, but it was always messy, stuff laying around here and there.

“My babies.” Her mom cheers and comes near them. She takes Anastasia from Izzie’s arm. She grins and laughs with the baby. Anastasia is less and less like a baby every day. She’s talking a little now.

Izzie pulls Olivia and Elijah into her sides. They are half asleep and don’t really care about introduction right now. “I’m going to go get the bags from the car.” Izzie tells them. She steps back outside and looks around. Nothing really looks different. That’s good. She goes to her uncle’s car and gathers their things.

“Do you want help?” Her uncle asks.

“I’m good. I know you are going over to grandma’s, but do you want to come in and say hi to mom.” They are brother and sister after all.

He mulls it over. “Maybe tomorrow.” He’s sticking around tomorrow to see how everything goes and then driving back to Florida the following day.

Izzie nods. She doesn’t know what their relationship is like. Or lack there of. But she knows her mom and knows how difficult she can be. Some of it is the addiction and some of it is just her personality. She tends to rub a lot of people the wrong way.

“Okay, have a good night.” Izzie turns toward the building. She goes in and brings the bags to the bedroom. The room has been cleaned since they left. It looks good. She sets the bags down and goes to check on the kids.

Her mom still has the baby in her arms as she sits on the couch with Olivia on one side of her and Elijah on the other. They look like little zombies as she asks them questions, too tired to answer.

“How about we let them get to bed and save the questions for in the morning?”

They planned this so that they would be back on Friday night and their mother wouldn’t have to work the next day so they could spend some time together before Monday and work rolled around again.

Izzie has no intention of taking part in the family time with her mother. That reminds her. She has to plug her phone in so it can charge. “Come on.” She waves the kids over. “I’ll get them into bed. If you want to take Anastasia.”

Her mom nods.

Izzie takes Olivia and Elijah to bed. Her routine resumes taking care of the kids at night. Tonight, it’s getting them to change and get into bed. She won’t worry about brushing teeth tonight. It’s late enough. Izzie plugs in her phone and goes back out into the kitchen. She sits at the table and waits for her mother to come out of her room.

“You look good.” She says when she appears.

“I feel pretty good. I shouldn’t ever have let Tyler come back. He’s toxic. It took me a while, but my mother helped convince me that he was no good and that I was never going to get anywhere with him around.”

“Good.” Izzie nods once. “What about the drugs?”

Her mother looks down. “I have an addiction, Isabella. That’s not something that just goes away or is cured overnight.”

So, her mom is still on the pain pills or some equivalent. At least Tyler isn’t around with his nasty dirty needles.

“What are you going to do tomorrow?” Izzie asks.

“I thought the idea was to hang out with you kids.”

Izzie nods. It is. “Well, I’ll probably be gone in the morning, but I should be back for lunch. If you want to do something then.”

“You just got back. Where are you going?” Her mother tries really hard not to raise her voice, but she still does a little towards the end of her sentence.

Izzie smirks. Already getting under her mother’s skin. “I have to go for a run. I didn’t get one in today.”

Her mom nods.

Izzie has a plan. It’s one of the things she was able to think about without so many distractions this summer. The idea is to work her butt off to get out of this town and far away from her mom.

“If I want to continue my education, I have to get super serious about running and track and my times if I want to go to college on a scholarship.” She’s forthcoming with her mother for once. Izzie stands. “I’m going to bed.”

“Goodnight.” Her mom says. She doesn’t reply.


	10. Chapter 10

As soon as Izzie wakes up the next morning, she sends Casey a text. She’s excited to see her today. She also has this weird sense of relief at being home.

**I’m home!!! Run?**

She sends the text, hopeful to get a reply. Izzie texted Casey two days ago to let her know that she was coming back. Casey said that she was excited to have Izzie back. Izzie was satisfied with that but is nervous about seeing Casey again today after the way they left things.

Izzie’s phone buzzes in her hand. She looks down at the message from Casey. **I’ll be over in a little bit.**

Izzie tries to keep from smiling too widely. She gets ready for their run and waits.

She’s out front when Casey pulls up, sitting on the step, her leg bouncing nervously. Izzie doesn’t think she’s ever been this nervous to see someone. She knows it has something to do with the time apart and the way things were when she left town abruptly.

After parking, Casey gets out of the car. “I think the last time I was here you were out here waiting for me too. Eager much?” She jokes.

Izzie gets a good look at Casey, eyeing her head to toe. She looks as good or better than the last time Izzie saw her.

Izzie grins and shakes her head.

“Come here.” Casey opens her arms for a hug.

Izzie steps into Casey’s arms, wrapping her arms under Casey’s and gripping onto her back tightly. “I missed you.” She presses her cheek against Casey’s shoulder.

“I missed you too, Iz.” Casey pulls back. “It’s not the same around here without you. But mostly I missed my running partner.”

_That’s it? Your running partner._

Izzie nods. “Shall we start?”

“Did you stretch already?”

Izzie nods.

“Well, I didn’t. Just let me-“ Casey point over to a spot under a tree. Izzie nods. She watches Casey walk over and start stretching out her legs. Izzie stretches again just for something to do. And to distract herself from watching Casey stretch. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t take a peek at Casey now and then as they stretch.

Izzie leads the way into the neighborhood around the apartments.

“It is so good to be back. I love my aunt and uncle and Florida is nice; but after a while I don’t love them that much and Florida isn’t that nice.” Izzie thinks there are lots of things about Florida that aren’t nice. The weather. Sure, it’s sunny and warm every day but it’s sunny and warm every day. There’s no change in it and you can’t breathe half of the time with how humid it is. And there are old people everywhere. Literally everywhere. It probably didn’t help that Izzie worked at a restaurant that’s main cliental was old people.

“I feel like a haven’t seen you in forever.”

Izzie doesn’t count the morning she left, when she stopped by at Casey’s house. It was only a few minutes. “I know. Since Slurpee night.”

_Slurpee night_. _Is that a thing now?_

“Yeah. Slurpee night. That was fun.”

_Apparently, it is._

She glances over at Casey. They are referencing the same thing, right. “So fun. I’m so glad I have a friend like you. I haven’t had a best girlfriend since I was little.” She glances over at Casey. “It’s nice.” It is nice. So nice. And it’s nice to be back. Running with Casey. “Easy.” Because that’s what they are. They gel together so easily.

“Yeah. Easy. Totally easy.” Casey seems to agree.

It’s hard to run and hold a conversation so there isn’t much of one for most of the run.

“I’ll get us some waters.” Izzie jogs into the building. When she comes back out Casey is laying on the hood of her mother’s car, sprawled out like a starfish. “You alright, Newton?”

Casey sticks out her tongue. “I think so. You kicked my ass, is all.”

Izzie laughs. “Haven’t you been running all summer?” She leans against the hood, trying to look cool.

“I have but-“ Casey pushes herself up onto her elbows. “I didn’t have anyone to push me the way you do.”

Izzie grins and shakes her head. “Here.” She holds out a water for Casey.

Casey slides down the hood, her bare legs making a painful sound as they catch on the metal. “Oooh. I’m sticking.” She takes the water from Izzie and sets up next to her, leaning against the hood. “I like your shorts.”

Izzie looks down at her shorts. “Oh.” Her cheeks heat up. “Thanks.”

_Has Casey ever commented on something that I’m wearing? No._

“I like- uh- your hair.” Izzie hates that she is so awkward. “It’s shorter than the last time I saw you.”

Casey hums. “It is.”

Izzie looks around at the area in front of them. The apartment building, a few trees, the grass, a broken down picnic table but not much else. She wishes she knew what to talk about. This shouldn’t be so awkward and difficult. And maybe it’s not awkward and difficult for Casey, but Izzie doesn’t know because she feels awkward and difficult.

Izzie is saved by a car pulling into the parking spot next to them. She stands up, pushing off the front of the car. Izzie doesn’t acknowledge him to Casey as the car pulls into the parking space. She waits until he gets out of the car and comes over to them.

“Casey, this is my uncle Johnny. The one I was staying with in Florida. He was kind enough to drive us back yesterday.”

“It’s nice to meet you Casey. Izzie’s always talking about you.” He nods at them. “I’ll be inside.”

Izzie, embarrassed, looks down at the ground, kicking at the grass with the toe of her shoe.

“Casey, huh?” Casey nudges Izzie with her elbow.

Izzie frowns. “Well, I can’t call you Newton. He doesn’t know you.” She says, all grumpy now. “I should get inside. He hasn’t seen my mom in years. I don’t know if World War III is going to break out in there or not.”

It’s clear Casey doesn’t know what to say. She kind of just stares at Izzie.

Izzie watches her and worries lip lower lip between her teeth.

_Should I say something about my mom?_

Casey lets her off the hook. “I’ll see you later. It’s good to have you back though.” She grins shyly.

Izzie matches her grin. She hovers there for probably longer than she should. “Okay. I’ll just- yeah-“

“Yeah.” Casey agrees.

“Yeah.” Izzie nods. She turns to go inside. She looks over her shoulder once to see Casey still perched against the hood of the car, watching her walk to the building. Izzie turns back and walks inside, not believing that she’s back for a moment and that she got to see Casey first thing upon returning.

Everyone stares at her when she enters the apartment.

“What?” Grumpy Izzie is back, but she can’t quite keep the smile from her face.

“Was that Casey?” Her mother asks.

“Yeah, why?”

Her mother shakes her head. “No reason.”

Izzie narrows her eyes at her mother. She knows there’s a reason but she’s not going to get into it with her mother. They just got back, and her uncle is standing right there. “What are we doing for lunch?” She’s pretty hungry after her run.

* * *

A few days later Izzie is putting the kids to bed. Well, the older two. They mostly put themselves to bed. She just makes sure they went to the bathroom, brushed their teeth. But she does read them a story.

She’s about halfway through when she hears her phone buzz with a text message. She ignores it to finish the story.

But when she’s done, and the kiddos are asleep, she finally picks up the phone.

The first thing that alarms her is that it’s a text from Elsa. After the first time Elsa text her, Izzie saved her number to her phone. Just in case.

The second thing that alarms her are the words Casey and emergency surgery.

She reads the whole message, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath.

_It will be fine._

Izzie goes out into the kitchen. She opens the fridge, looks inside, then closes the fridge. She starts looking through the kitchen cabinets. She finds nothing she wants. She doesn’t know what she wants. Izzie paces back and forth before flopping down in a kitchen chair.

“What’s going on out here?” Her mother comes out of her room. “It sounds like elephants are having a dance.”

Izzie folds her arms over her chest with a loud sigh. “It’s nothing.”

“If you insist.” Her mother taps her fingers against the table. “Just keep your moody shenanigans to a low roar so the rest of us can sleep.”

Izzie glares over at her mom. The woman isn’t wrong though. Izzie was stomping around like a petulant teenager. Probably closing cabinets door too harshly and pulling the chair out more violently than need be.

Her mom goes back to her bedroom. Izzie sits at the table like that for a while. Just sitting and thinking. She’s finally calmed down enough to reply to Elsa’s text.

**Thank you for the info. Please keep me updated on what’s happening.**

Izzie knows Casey’s mom is a pain in the ass, in Casey’s opinion. But she cares. And that’s huge, in Izzie’s opinion.

Izzie doesn’t sleep much that night. Elsa texts her a few hours after the original text to say that Casey was out of surgery and that it went well. That doesn’t let Izzie sleep any easier though.

* * *

She borrows her grandma’s car. She had promised she would visit. And Casey had begged her to come as soon as she could because she was bored and had nothing to do but sit in bed all day.

Izzie stops at a gas station on the way. She puts gas in her grandma’s car just to be nice and as a little thank you for letting her borrow it. Izzie goes inside and ventures down the candy aisle. She thinks back to the day the went to 7-Eleven and got Slurpee’s and perused the candy aisle there. Izzie picks a pack of Twizzlers and goes to the front to pay.

It’s a quick ride over to the Gardner’s. It’s such a nice day. It’s too bad that Casey has to stay inside in bed all day.

Elsa lets her in. “It’s good to see you, Izzie.”

Izzie smiles shyly. “Thanks. It’s good to see you too.” She looks around anxiously.

Elsa notices. “She’s upstairs.”

Izzie nods and heads for the stairs. The bedroom door is open, so Izzie steps in and knocks on the door. “Knock knock.” She sees Casey sitting in bed reading some book.

“Oh, thank god, I’m so bored.” Casey throws her magazine to the side.

“You look pathetic.” Izzie takes in the patient, all tucked in bed with nothing to do but sit there.

Casey pouts.

_Pathetic and adorable._

“I brought Twizzlers.” She approaches the bed.

“You brought me your favorite candy?”

_Duh, so we can share._

“You’re welcome.” Izzie sets the Twizzlers down. “Scootch.” Izzie takes her shoes off as Casey moves over a little on the bed.

Izzie gets into bed, tucking under the blanket that Casey is using. “Your bed is so cozy and warm.” She gets comfortable, tucking her right shoulder behind Casey, leaning into her side.

“It’s all the farting I’ve been doing.” Casey jokes, proud of her own joke.

“You’re so gross.” Whether Casey was just joking or not, it doesn’t deter Izzie from getting settled in next to Casey.

“You didn’t know that.”

She hears his voice before she sees him. “Evaaan.” Izzie is curled into Casey’s side when he appears in the doorway. She shrugs at his presences.

_What is he holding?_

He looks at Casey. “No more appendix?” Evan stands at the end of the bed.

“It’s all gone. I miss it.”

He walks over to the other side of the bed. “I’m sorry. Now that banana bread incident is starting to make a lot more sense. Your appendix hated banana bread.”

Izzie has no idea what Evan is talking about but listens anyway. She cringes when he leans in and kisses Casey. Izzie would jump away but doesn’t want to make a scene. He’s so close though. Right there, in Izzie’s line of sight. She watches them kiss.

Uncomfortable, to say the least. “Maybe I should go.” Izzie starts to fold back the blanket.

Casey turns to her. “No. Stay.”

_Okay._

Izzie gives in easily to Casey. She abandons any thoughts of leaving.

“I need my loved ones around me. We don’t know how much time I have left.”

Izzie looks up at Evan. _I don’t want to be lumped in the same category as him._

Evan chuckles at Casey’s joke. “Um, I got you this.” He holds out the stuffed sheep.

“A sheep.”

Casey takes it in her hands and Izzie gets a better look at it. It has such a very angry face.

“Yeah, it’s a little weird but um, there’s a story behind-“

Izzie agrees. “Super weird.”

“Oh my god, look at it.” Casey lifts the sheep to her face. “It’s angry.” She clutches the sheep and makes an angry noise.

“It is so angry.” Izzie tells Casey. They laugh and Izzie grabs the sheep. “Get it away.” She puts it on the nightstand, next to the Twizzlers. Enough about Evan’s weird, angry sheep. “Movie time.” That’s why Izzie came over in the first place.

“Yep.” Casey pulls a laptop out from under the blanket and opens it. “Get in.” She pats the spot on the bed next to her hip for Evan to sit.

Izzie notices Evan’s awkwardness. He gets on the bed and Izzie watches as he takes the blanket that they are sharing. There is only enough to cover one of his legs though as he stretches it out. She not going to let him have any more of the blanket though. That would mean not enough blanket to cover Izzie and that’s not going to happen.

And like with most movies, Izzie falls asleep before it’s over. It’s a pattern, she can’t help it. And when she wakes up later and opens her eyes, she sees Evan. Not Casey. Evan is laying on the bed across from her asleep.

_What the-_

Izzie pushes herself up in bed and looks around the room. Casey is gone. The bathroom door is closed so she just assumes she’s in there. Izzie looks over at Evan. She sighs. He’s not a bad guy. And that’s part of the problem. She thinks she would even like him if he wasn’t Casey’s boyfriend. But that’s the problem. He is.

It’s weird just sitting there with Evan asleep on the bed next to her.

“Hey.” She whispers. Izzie can’t just sit in Casey’s room with Evan asleep. It’s so weird. “Hey.” She says a little louder.

He wakes up and looks at her. She can see the confusion in his eyes. “Where’s Casey?”

Izzie shrugs.

Evan gets up and looks around. He looks as confused as Izzie was when she woke up. He smacks his lips together, wetting them, and then looks over at Izzie.

She shrugs again. She doesn’t know what to tell him. She doesn’t know where Casey went. She just woke up too. She assumes it’s the bathroom but doesn’t say that.

Evan nods once at her and then leaves.

Izzie pulls her phone out and looks into having food delivered. She’s hungry.

Casey pops out of the bathroom a second later.

_I was right._

“Where’s Evan?” She asks.

Izzie shakes her head. “I don’t know.” He left the room. That’s all Izzie knows. She hopes he left the house too. She’s about to ask if Casey wants to order pizza but Casey leaves the room abruptly.

Izzie forges ahead with ordering a pizza. She’s excited. A pizza and a sleepover. Win-win, right?

She’s looking down at her phone when the door opens, a few minutes later, and Casey comes back in. She seems sullen when Izzie gets a glance at her. She knows something’s up. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, he just had to get home.”

Izzie nods, knowing there’s more going on than just that.

“Hey, I’m going to sleep over at Evan’s next weekend. Think you could cover for me?”

_Oh._

Izzie notices how Casey doesn’t quite look at her when she says it.

Izzie has to take a moment. Her heart sinks. “Um.” She fiddles with her phone anxiously. “Yeah.” Izzie forces a smile. She knows she can’t say no. “Yeah.” That forced smile doesn’t quite reach its full potential. She hopes it’s enough to convince Casey.

“Cool.” Casey mumbles, still trying to avoid eye contact.

Izzie wonders if maybe she’s projecting more than what is actually there. She thought that Casey was going to see that there is something between them. But, sleeping over at Evan’s, that only means one thing. She’s still with Evan. Still choosing Evan. Still wants to be with him. Now and moving forward, making plans for next weekend.

Casey wanders around the room awkwardly for a few moments after that.

“I ordered pizza. It should be here in half an hour.” Izzie tries to break the sudden tension in the room.

“Really?” Casey turns around to look at her.

“Yeah.” Izzie nods. “Pepperoni, your favorite.” Casey smiles her excited smile.

Izzie doesn’t know how to feel anymore. Casey seems to be all hot and cold around her now.

The pizza comes and Izzie runs downstairs to get it. She comes back up with two sodas and a large pizza box.

Casey is sitting in bed again. “I might only have one slice. My stomach can’t handle much yet.”

Izzie grins. “More for me then.” She laughs.

After pizza, Izzie settles in again next to Casey under the covers. “Another movie.” They are cuddled up as tightly as when Izzie first showed up today.

“You know I’ll probably fall asleep.” Izzie bites her lip.

Casey rolls her eyes. “Have you ever made it through an entire movie in your life?” She teases.

Izzie thinks about it. “Maybe one or two. That I watched early in the day. Like right when I woke up.” She jokes.

Casey laughs with her.

_That’s good._

Izzie feels a little better now. But the awkwardness is still there between them. She wonders if it will always be. But Casey starts the movie, and they settle in. It’s not perfect or great but Izzie would rather have this than nothing.

She cuddles into Casey’s side and falls asleep at some point. But sees more of the movie than the one they watched earlier with Evan.

* * *

The next morning. Izzie wakes up and stretches her arms before rolling onto her right side, facing Casey’s body. Casey is laying on her back. Izzie closes her eyes again. She slings an arm over Casey’s waist, and puts her head on Casey’s shoulder. It feels like the most natural thing in the world to do and not out of place at all. Izzie enjoys this. She really did miss Casey this summer. She missed being able to do this. She missed just being around Casey. Her left knee sliding over Casey’s thigh.

Casey hums and reaches out, putting her hand on Izzie’s arm that is across her waist. “Morning.”

Izzie just hums. She doesn’t want to use words yet. She just wants to feel. Just soak in this moment.

Nothing else is said for many minutes. Eventually, Casey rubs her hand up and down Izzie forearm. “We should get up.” Casey mumbles.

“Five more minutes.” Izzie would be content with just staying in bed with Casey all day long.

Casey laughs. “Okay, five more minutes, but that’s it.”


	11. Chapter 11

Izzie waits for Casey at the front doors of the school. She smiles when she sees Casey coming. “Hey, Newton. New year. Same Newton.”

Casey just shakes her head at Izzie’s silliness.

They walk into school together. First stopping at Casey’s locker and then the plan is to move on to Izzie’s.

Izzie leans up against the row of lockers as Casey puts in the combination. “So, junior year. You ready?” She’s waiting for Casey to respond when Nate walks into her line of vision. He gets in between her and Casey, going to his locker. Izzie steps back and Casey steps away. None of them saying anything to the others while Nate gets his book and leaves. Izzie folds her arms over her chest and waits for him to leave.

They share a look when he’s gone. “You mean ten months of that awkwardness?”

Izzie moves back in towards Casey.

“Can’t wait.” Casey goes in and pulls a book from her locker.

Izzie steps forward. “He’s harmless.” She tries to put a hand on Casey’s shoulder, but Casey turns away too quickly.

They walk off to Izzie’s locker and then their first period classes.

* * *

It’s between second and third period and they are back at Casey’s locker.

“Kinda sucks you just had surgery.” Izzie hadn’t thought of it until now but Casey’s not going to be a full participant at practice. “It’s not going to be as fun kicking your ass at practice.” She tries to make fun of Casey, but it doesn’t really work.

“I’ll have you know I went on my first run and I was fast as ever.” Casey always has a retort.

_Yeah right._

Izzie doesn’t believe that. “Did it hurt?”

“Like a bitch.”

Izzie laughs. She knew it. She turns and there’s Nate again. He might become the bane of Izzie’s existence if he keeps showing up multiple times every day.

“Hey, I brought you guys milkshakes.”

_Well, at least I get something out of it._

“I don’t want it to be weird with us for the next two years.” He holds the milkshakes out. “So, peace offering?”

She doesn’t want to accept Nate’s peace offering though. She might not hold a grudge or anything against Nate but Izzie’s never going to forget what he did.

“Thanks.” Casey accepts though. “My stomach’s still a little wonky from appendectomy but-“

Izzie isn’t going to turn down a milkshake. Free stuff is always great in her mind. “I’ll take it.” She lets go of the strap on her backpack and takes a milkshake from Nate. “Hers too.” She smirks.

She hears Casey scoff and looks over with a little shit eating grin before retrieving the second milkshake from Nate. Not wasting any time, Izzie walks away from him to go enjoy her milkshakes away from his presence.

* * *

Penelope rushes up to Izzie as she is sitting down before fourth period.

“Where’s the fire?” Izzie is busy getting her books from her backpack, readying for class to start.

“What?” Penelope looks at Izzie in confusion.

Izzie rolls her eyes. Of course, the joke goes right over Penelope’s head. “What’s up?”

“You didn’t hear?” She looks at Izzie with wide wild eyes.

“Hear what?”

“Oh my god.” Penelope looks around and then leans in and whispers. “Casey punched a milkshake that Nate had and apparently it got all over his clothes and even ruined his hair.”

Izzie tilts her head to the side envisioning this. She smirks.

_Of course Casey did._

But then she thinks of the consequences. “What happened?”

“They sent her to the principal, and he sent her to Crowley to be dealt with. Quinn saw her, just now, coming out of Crowley’s office.”

Izzie hums. She’s going to have to talk to Casey about this. Though she loves that Casey did it. She wishes she was there to see the look on Nate’s face. That must have been great. She bets he’s furious about his precious hair being messed up. Even over his clothes been soaked in milkshake.

_The milkshakes were delicious._

“Izzie?”

_Was Penelope talking to me still?_

Izzie looks over at her and raises an eyebrow.

“I asked what you thought?”

“Oh.” Izzie bits her lip. “Have you ever dunked fries into your milkshake?”

_I have to ask Casey that._

That confused look is back on Penelope’s face. “What? About Nate?”

Izzie shrugs. “He probably deserves it.”

* * *

Lunch is next and Izzie hurries to find Casey.

“Hey.” She wraps her hand around Casey’s arm at her elbow. “What did you do?” She doesn’t ask in an accusatory way, her voice has more wonder to it than anything.

“So, you heard?” Casey raises an eyebrow at her.

“It seems like just about everyone has heard by now and if not, they will soon.” She leans into Casey. “What did you do?”

Casey looks away from the intensity on Izzie face. “I bopped his milkshake. It may have happened to splash up onto his shirt, and pants, and face, and hair. And all over the floor.” Casey looks back. “It was a big mess actually.”

Izzie bites her lip. “Oh my gosh.”

“Can I finish getting my lunch?” Casey asks.

Izzie nods. “Yeah. Sure. I’ll see you at the table.” She goes to get in line to get lunch for herself.

She sits down across from Casey. “So, tell me what happened?”

“Well, after you left with your milkshakes- how were they by the way? You seemed super excited about them.” Casey grins.

Izzie hums. “I was. They were amazing. Have you ever had fries with milkshakes? Where you dip the fries in the milkshake?”

“I have.” Casey grins.

“We’ll have to do that sometime.” Izzie looks forwards to the opportunity. “But back to Nate.”

“Yes, Nate. He called me a bitch, so I bopped his milkshake and then left. Apparently, there were witnesses.” Casey says sarcastically. Izzie grins at her. “They called me down to the principal five minutes into third period. I spent most of third period getting scolded by one person or another. Coach isn’t very happy about it.” Casey shrugs. It was worth it. “I hope I ruined his day though.”

“I’m positive you did.” Izzie reaches across the table and puts her hand over Casey’s wrist. “He’s hair is like the most important thing on the planet to him. He can’t ever have a single hair out of place.” She smirks. “You definitely ruined his day.” She squeezes Casey’s wrist before pulling her hand away. Izzie focuses on her lunch now but the thoughts about the milkshake incident linger in her mind.

* * *

Izzie sits in the passenger’s seat of the Gardner’s car.

“Evan is coming over too.”

_Great._

Izzie tries not to roll her eyes. He’s a good guy and she should probably be more open to the idea of him being around and hanging out with them. But it would so much better if she were able to hang out with Casey alone.

Evan is already there when they pull into the driveway. That means zero alone time today. Izzie feels like she’s walking on a tight rope. On one side of the rope is her friendship with Casey. And on the other is the possibility of being more than friends with Casey. She has to balance the two right now, as long as Casey is with Evan. If he weren’t in the picture, she knows that she would be more reckless in pursuing Casey. But she knows Casey’s past, her mother’s past, and it’s a fragile balance. If she leans too far to one side, she’ll fall off.

They all get inside. Casey gets the Cheetos out right away and goes to sit on the couch. Izzie gets herself a glass of water before joining her. It’s easy to be in Casey’s house. It’s so welcoming and Izzie feels comfortable being there and just going around and getting something to drink or whatever she needs. Mrs. Gardner’s ‘make yourself at home’ often rings in Izzie’s head.

Good thing Casey sits in the middle of the couch because Izzie doesn’t know how long she would be able to sit next to Evan.

They talk about Izzie’s mom until Evan comes over to the couch. She doesn’t really want Evan hearing all the details about her home life. Izzie knows he knows that basics, but she doesn’t want him knowing more than that. She doesn’t really want anyone knowing the details. Her personal business should be private.

“Cheetos.” Evan cheers.

“I just need to get done with school and move far, far away.” Izzie just wants to get as far away from her mom as possible.

“Where would you go?” Casey asks.

“New Orleans.” She wiggles her eyebrows at Casey. Casey hums and nods. “Barcelona.”

_She needs to stop looking at me like that._

“What’s the furthest place from here?”

Evan is off in his own little world on the other end of the couch.

Casey chuckles and eats a Cheeto.

“Mars.” Mars would be great. Not even on the same planet as her mother. “Oh, this is fun where would you go?” Izzie shifts on the couch, turning more towards Casey. “Name three places.”

“Dublin, cuz Irish accents.”

Evan looks over at them at Casey’s answers.

Izzie nods. “Oh, yeah.”

“San Francisco.”

_Really, Casey? San Francisco._

“And Cape Town.”

_Solid. Those are all good._

Evan laughs. “Cape Town, I think you mean Cape Cod. Cape Cod.” He tries to correct Casey.

“No. The one in South Africa.”

“Oh. Oh, right, yeah, yeah. I know that.” Evan tries to recover. He picks up his drink to occupy his embarrassment.

Izzie grins, trying desperately not to laugh in his face.

_Did he not know there was a Cape Town? Or did he just assume it was the same as Cape Cod?_

“Where would you go? Three cities?” Casey asks.

Izzie is interested in his answer too. She leans forward to hear him better.

“Th-three. Um.” He thinks about it. “Maybe Providence.”

“What?” Izzie wasn’t expecting that. If he could go anywhere in the world Evan would go to Providence. That’s so close to where they live.

“Yeah, Providence is nice.” Evan enjoyed it the couple of times he’s been there.

“Dude, that’s like two hours from here.” Casey can’t believe it either.

“Well, so what. They got a good minor league baseball team.” He defends. If he’s going to go somewhere there has to be something good about the place that he already likes. It makes sense to Evan.

Casey laughs.

Izzie nods. She understands where he’s coming from. The place your going has to have some good qualities, otherwise, why go. Evan clearly thinks fondly of Providence. Nothing wrong with that. She gives him the okay symbol with her right hand and a little smile.

“Oh my god.” Casey mumbles.

The door opens and Elsa walks in. “Hey, Mrs. Gardner, quick. Three places you want to live and prepare to be judged harshly. And Providence is taken.” If Casey is going to make fun of him for Providence than she doesn’t get to claim it, only Evan can.

They all look to Mrs. Gardner for her answer.

She stops, bags of groceries in hand. “Tokyo, Bruges, Sydney.” She walks into the kitchen.

“Oh.” Izzie likes those. “Good ones.”

Casey turns to watch her mother in the kitchen. Her leg bumping up against Izzie. Izzie takes a drink of her water to distract herself. She gets a piece of ice with her water.

“Of course, when I was your age I only wanted to live in New York.”

Izzie spits her ice back into the glass. “Why didn’t you go?”

“I did. I lived there for five years after college.”

Izzie turns around to look at Mrs. Gardner. Izzie is fascinated. _She IS cool._

“Wait a minute? Were you? Could it be? Were you cool?” Casey teases.

“Very. I even wore fingerless gloves. I wore them to five different Fleetwood Mac concerts with your dad. But you know, I’d like to think I’m still pretty cool.”

 _Very cool._ Izzie nods and grins. Elsa definitely gets cool points in Izzie’s mind.

Casey puts her glass down on the table. “Honey, I don’t know why we even bother with coasters if you’re not going to use them.”

“And she’s back.” Casey complains.

Izzie thinks Casey gives her mom too much of a hard time. Give her a break, she’s trying hard to repair her family and the damage she’s caused.

They continue naming all the cool cities they can think of until Mrs. Gardner calls them to dinner.

Izzie sits on one side of the table with Sam and Casey and Evan sit across from them.

“Hi, Sam.”

“Hello, Izzie.” He nods curtly.

“How are you?”

Sam hums. “Oh, I was late for my Ethics class. And then the teacher talked so quickly and so much I couldn’t take proper notes. It was a massive failure. How was your day? I see you are here for dinner. That’s a first. You’ve only ever had breakfast here.”

Izzie chuckles lightly. “Oh, well, I’m sure you’ll figure out the note taking. And yes, my first dinner with the Gardner family. A day to remember. And my day was good. Thanks for asking.”

“You’re welcome.” Sam tucks into his meal.

Izzie looks across the table and Casey and winks. Casey smiles back at the encouragement Izzie has giving to Sam.

When she’s getting ready for bed Izzie thinks back to the cities discussion that was had at Casey’s house. She thinks of other cities that she would like to go to. And other opportunities. That evolves into places she’d like to go after high school. There’s college next, if Izzie is lucky. That means getting out of this town and away from her mess of a mother. That also means leaving the kids behind. She turns her head and looks over at Elijah and Olivia’s beds.

Izzie sighs. Maybe by then things will be better. Her mother will be better. The kids will be older. That’s helpful but she still wouldn’t want to just leave them behind if her mother is messed up.

It would be amazing if she could go to a college far away. In a city far away from her mother. But how? She knows that there is a possibility on an athletic scholarship if she works hard at it. She’s also not doing bad in school. Mostly classes and learning come easy to Izzie, so there’s a possibility that she could be accepted into a school based off her grades. Unlikely on an academic scholarship though. She would have to be at the very top of their class for that. And Izzie doesn’t have enough time to get a greater than four point GPA. She knows there’s a good handful of kids in their class that are ahead of her as far as grade point average goes and are more dedicated to their studies than she is.

That leads back to the athletic scholarship side of things. Sure, she could go to a local college or a community college but if she has the opportunity to go a greater school, why not. Izzie thinks over all the girls on the track team that have come before her in recent years. The ones she knows about that went to college on track scholarships. Some going to smaller schools but a number of them have gone on to UCLA.

_UCLA?_

Izzie fantasizes about it in her sleep.

* * *

Izzie was running late this morning, so she didn’t see Casey before class. She ambushes Casey after first period. Izzie is standing outside Casey’s class, waiting for her to come out.

Maybe a little too eager, Izzie jumps into Casey’s path with a big grin on her face as soon as she emerges from the door. She bites her lip trying to tone down her grin.

Casey leans backwards, surprised at Izzie just popping up out of nowhere. “What’s up, crazy?”

_Do I look crazy? I’m just excited._

She hooks her thumbs into her backpack straps. “I figured it out. I know how to get us out of here.” She leans in, because it’s that important.

“Clayton?” Casey says.

Izzie rolls her eyes.

“Don’t have a problem getting out. It’s staying in I have trouble with.” Casey jokes.

Izzie just wishes she would be serous for once. She grabs Casey by the arm, turning her and walking. “Shut up and listen.” She homes in on Casey. “Almost every year UCLA recruits a student from Clayton on a track scholarship.” She needs Casey to understand how important this is. Maybe she’s overly excited about it, but Izzie thinks this is a real possibility. “Two years ago, they took three kids.”

“That’s crazy.”

“I know.” Izzie nearly shouts. “And their coach is like best friends with Coach Crowley.”

“Crowley has friends?”

Izzie rolls her eyes again. She wishes Casey would take this seriously. _Wait._

She knows how to get Casey to take it seriously. “Casey.” That gets Casey’s attention, using her real name. Casey looks over, a bit of a smirk on her face. “We could go together. The two of us. To California.” She can see the wheels turning in Casey’s brain. She’s actually thinking about it now.

“Wow.”

Izzie grabs onto her backpack straps again, excited. Her voice higher pitched than she would like it to be. “I know, right.” She gives Casey more info on the situation. “And the scout is gonna be at Regionals in a couple of months.” Izzie watches as the possibility hits Casey for the first time.

“Do you think they’d take us?”

“I mean, if we train like crazy and get our times down.” Izzie can’t believe she didn’t think of this sooner. “We’re Juniors, this is our chance to impress them.” She knows this is an important year for them. She watches as Casey wraps her mind around the idea.

“LA.” Casey says in wonder. “I don’t know anything about it except that its very very far away from Elsa.” She smirks at the dig at her mom.

Izzie gives her a nod. “Think about it. It’s a real possibility.” She encourages. “I’ve got to get to class. I’ll see you at lunch.” She squeezes Casey’s arm before walking away from her.

* * *

It’s Wednesday morning practice before school. The team does it once a week; that way they have Wednesday after school free.

Izzie is running late. She’s not late for practice but she would have liked to arrive earlier than she did. It’s not the end of the world, but she’s going to have to not make a habit of it.

“Hey.” She plops down on the bench.

“Hey.”

Izzie has a plan in place. “Are you cool with meeting a half hour early to train?” In fact, she going to have to be up earlier and arrive sooner on Wednesday morning if she wants this to work. “We can do extra conditioning and practice passes.” She’s run this idea by Casey already, but she needs an answer now. “We gotta step up our game.” Izzie folds her arms over her chest, getting serious.

“Yeah, sure.” Casey seems tentative. “Maybe.” She’s fidgety too.

Izzie lowers her voice. “You’re already changing your mind about LA, aren’t you?” She can see it happening.

“No, um- I ran the idea by Evan and I told him he should come with us.” Casey mumbles really fast.

Izzie nods. _So that’s what this is about._

“And he’s not into it.”

_I’m not into it either._

Casey just gives her a look. She doesn’t have to say anything. Izzie nods. “I’m not surprised.”

_Stupid Evan._

“I mean if we were going to college in Providence.” She rips on him. “What does he want to stay here for anyway?” Izzie wonders aloud. “What does Evan, like, do?” She shrugs. Evan’s a good guy but is he making an effort to further his life, himself, or is he just stuck in one place?

“I mean he works at Don’s and he’s just figuring it out.” Casey explains but it’s not much to explain.

Izzie tells Casey some hard truths. “Which is code for doing nothing.” She nods her point home. Izzie knows she’s not wrong. She just wishes Evan had a purpose. She doesn’t want him dragging Casey down or holding her back from her true potential.

“I hate you.” Casey tells her.

Izzie is just being honest and telling it how she sees it. “I know.” She gets up quickly, right in Casey’s face, rubbing it in before running off. She’s going to leave Casey stew with those thoughts. She’s not going to bring it up again. Casey has to make her own decisions.

They have practice and go back to the locker room to change. Izzie’s locker is on the opposite end of the room from Casey’s. She changes quickly and goes to find Casey. She starts talking before she even gets to Casey. Casey is still in the process of changing, which Izzie doesn’t take notice of at first.

“So, I’ve been thinking. UCLA is just like the first option. There are other schools, some even on this coast, that might be good. We should make sure we have lots of options.” She looks around the room. There are teammates mingling about, none of them paying attention to her or Casey.

“A back up plan.” Izzie finally focuses on Casey. “Oh.” She mumbles.

“Yeah, oh.” Casey says, holding her shirt that she was going to put on over her chest.

“Sorry.” Izzie looks away.

Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem. It wouldn’t even be a thing. But things are different now. There’s a different feeling in the air. Izzie, she assumes, just like Casey feels differently about changing in front of the other now. Maybe since Slurpee night. That night changed a lot of things.

“Okay.” Casey mumbles.

Izzie doesn’t look to Casey again but releases the breath that she was holding. “So, about colleges, we need to have lots of options. I’ll make a list of schools that I like and would potentially take us, and you make a list and we can then get together and narrow it down.”

“Okay.” Casey shuts her locker.

Izzie finally glances over at Casey. She’s got her school uniform on, her blazer on. She looks Casey up and down, biting her lip as she does so. She can’t help it. “I’m leaving.” She blurts out suddenly. What Izzie meant to say was _I’m going to class_. She glances at Casey once more before darting off.

“Later, crazy.” Casey yells after her.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter that i've written so far. Also, how do you spell Wearl? Wearl? Worel? Whorel?

Elijah has a play date with his friend Tommy. Izzie brings the kids to grandma’s and takes grandma’s car to drop Elijah off. It’s only a block from Casey’s house. She knows Casey isn’t around but doesn’t want to spend the afternoon alone and at home. And she’ll save a trip if she just sticks in Casey’s neighborhood, instead of driving back over to her own, before coming back to pick Elijah. That way, it’s less in gas money that she has to put in grandma’s car. And Mrs. Gardner has told her time and time again that she is welcome at their house. She knows Casey is gone, and that she’s with Evan, so she knows she won’t run into him there. It’s a safe place for her.

Izzie is nervous as she waits for the door to open. “Oh, Izzie, hi.”

“Hi, Mrs. Gardner.” She feels a little better now that someone has opened the door. “I know Casey isn’t here, but I was in the neighborhood dropping my brother off at his friend’s house; so I thought I should come by.” She’s rambling because she’s nervous. “I accidently took Casey’s math book yesterday.” She pulls the book from her backpack and hands it over to Elsa.

“Okay.”

“So?” She doesn’t want to just invite herself in. That’s rude. “I should- go- home.” She says slowly.

Elsa sees her. She sees what Izzie is doing. Or she thinks she does. The girl is lingering and there’s no reason to just stop by only to drop off a book. Especially on the weekend. “You know, we could really use your help.” At the very least she can put Izzie to work. “We’re doing this big clothing drive and you have such a great sense of style.”

_Does she really think that?_

“Give us a hand?”

“Okay.” Izzie is relieved. Now she doesn’t have to leave and go somewhere else. She smiles, thankful. This will be much easier to pick up Elijah later. “Yeah.” Izzie steps into the house.

She puts her backpack down and takes her jacket off as some red haired lady speaks. “Question, was the pervious occupant of this house named Earl? Or Pearl? Or Wearl?”

“Wearl? Is that even a name?”

_Who is this nut?_

Izzie puts her hands on her hips. She looks to Mrs. Gardner for what sort of direction to take with this lady.

“Wearl? Is that even a name?”

“Nobody here was ever named Wearl.” Elsa ends the discussion.

 _Good._ Izzie runs her tongue over her teeth. _This is going to be interesting._

They work for a few hours. Going through clothing and packing boxes. Mrs. Gardner’s friends leave after about two hours; leaving herself alone with Casey’s mom.

“Where’s Sam?” She hasn’t seen him at all since she’s been here. _Maybe he’s upstairs._

“He’s very secretive now. Well, maybe not secretive but he doesn’t tell me things.” Elsa says. “He used to tell me things.”

Izzie smiles over at her as she folds some clothes. “He’s a teenager. That’s what we do. And maybe he didn’t used to do it before, but know that he knows how, he’s using it to his benefit.”

Elsa hums, not liking that response. “You like Sam.” It’s not a question.

“Yeah. What’s not to like?” Izzie says. “I like you guys.” She shrugs. “Well, I’ve hardly been around your husband. Husband?” She looks to see if she’s said the wrong thing.

“We’re still married. Yes.”

“He never seems to be here when I’m around.”

“He works odd shifts. It’s not all nine to five.” Elsa informs her.

“Yeah.” Izzie is going through a box of kid’s clothes.

“Those are the kid’s clothes. From when they were little.”

“Aww.” That’s so nice the Elsa has saved them. She comes across a little lavender sweater. Izzie turns and holds it up to show Elsa.

“I made that.”

Izzie laughs. “It’s ridiculously adorable.” She looks at it closer.

Elsa groans. “Casey refused to wear it. Of course.”

_Of course she did._

“But she did put it on her stuffed zebra for a while. So, I consider that a win.”

Izzie picks at a little fuzzy on the front of the shirt. “Okay. Nope. You are not giving this one away.” If there was a way for Izzie to take the shirt and keep it, she would. She would then pull it out in front of Casey and make fun of her for it. She folds it back up and puts it on the ‘keep’ pile.

She finds a little purple screen printed shirt that has an image of Sal E. Sour Cream on it. She holds it up for Elsa.

“Oh, I remember that day.”

Izzie is loving this. She gets to hear all about Casey from her mom without Casey being around to even know about it or put up a fuss over it. She sits on the couch near Elsa to listen to the story.

“Casey got in trouble at school for acting out.”

_A troublemaker even at a young age._

“She was so upset about it. So, the next day, I picked her up early from school and I took her to Sal E. Sour Cream. And we had lunch together. And it was special because we could never go there as a family because Sam hated it.”

Izzie listens closely. She wishes she could’ve done something like that when she was a kid.

“You know, because of the lights and the noise. Oh, she was so happy.”

Izzie grins trying to prevent the tears that are threatening. She pulls away for a moment, fiddling with her earing. But the tears coming and she’s rubbing at her eyes.

“Oh, honey. I’m sorry.”

Elsa touches her arms. She doesn’t mean to be an emotional wreck but something about the story was just too much. “No, no. It’s okay.” Izzie tries to pull herself together. “I don’t know why I’m crying. It’s so stupid.”

“No, it’s not stupid.” Elsa tells her gently. She can see that Izzie is going through something.

“I don’t know. I-“ Izzie tries to explain. “I guess I just wish I had a childhood like that.” She’s envious of Casey’s childhood. Even if it wasn’t always perfect.

“Me too.” Elsa says.

 _What?_ She looks for Elsa to explain. Could there be some traumatic childhood that lives within Elsa?

“Growing up. It wasn’t a great environment.” She folds a shirt as she speaks. Izzie realizes that this woman is opening up to her. “I think that’s why I always tried so hard to make it different for Sam and Casey. To give them like the perfect childhood. I probably went overboard. I probably still do.”

Izzie nods at that. She knows and has seen Elsa go overboardb like with Casey’s birthday. She frowns, realizing that they probably have more in common that Izzie ever realized.

Elsa reaches out and puts her hand on the side of Izzie’s head, petting her hair. “I’m going to tell you something that I wish someone told me.” That hand ends up on Izzie’s shoulder.

 _Oh boy._ Izzie pulls her lips to one side.

“Our door is always open. No matter what you need. Anything at all. Even if it’s a place to stay.” She pets Izzie’s hair.

“Thanks.” Izzie say shyly, trying not to cry again. “But I’m really scared of ghosts.” She makes a joke to try to lighten the mood. “Sob I don’t think so.” She doesn’t know what else to say but is glad that she’s got an adult in her life that is looking out for her other than her grandma. Izzie might be crazy, but she wishes she had a mom like Elsa.

“I should get going. Get my brother and pick up my sisters from my grandma before they drive her up the wall.” Izzie gathers her things. “Mrs. Gardner.” She pauses while putting her coat on. “Can you not tell Casey that I was here?”

Elsa frowns.

“I just don’t- I just-“

“Okay.” Elsa says, letting Izzie breathe easier.

“Thanks.” She finishes putting her coat on. “Okay, bye.” Izzie waves shyly before opening the door. She lets out a long breath as she steps outside.

_What a day._

* * *

The competitors are all lined up at the starting line. Izzie looks to her right, down the line, and then to her left. Casey is three lanes to her left. Izzie feels good today. Ready to win the race. She just needs a good start.

The starter tells them to get into position. Izzie sets up in the blocks. She looks to the girls to her immediate left and right. She smirks.

“Set.” The starter holds his gun in the air. He pulls the trigger, and it goes off with a pop.

Izzie explodes from the blocks, a pretty good start. She sprints down the length of the track. She doesn’t see anyone ahead of her to her immediate left or right. She keeps her head up, facing forward and pushes through the last ten meters.

At the very last moment, she sees someone pushing past her to her left. Izzie crosses the finish line in second place.

She shakes her head and grins, trying to catch her breath. She goes over to the winner.

“I almost had you today. I was so close.” Izzie hangs off of Casey’s shoulder, all out of breath, her competitive juices following.

“Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.” Casey pants.

Izzie wrinkles up her face at that. Casey bops her on the top of the head. “It’s something my grandpa says.”

Izzie nods. She’s never heard anything about Casey’s grandpa before. She wonders if it’s on her mom’s side or her dad’s.

“Let’s get some water and find some shade. It’s abnormally hot out today.” Casey wraps her arm around Izzie and leads her away from the track surface over to the team tent.

After a drink and a stretch and a bit of a walk around to keep the muscles limber they go over to the field where the discus and shot put events take place. Izzie sits in the grass with a water bottle and watches for a while.

“Are you just going to stand there?” She looks up at Casey standing next to her.

“I don’t want to stiffen up.” Casey shakes her legs.

Izzie sighs. Casey is so competitive. “Okay, let’s head back.”

Casey has to run the 4 x 100 meter relay soon anyway. And not long after that they are both in the 4 x 200 meter relay.

Izzie is the starting leg of the relay. Admittedly, she isn’t as quick in a 200 meter as she is in the 100 but they needed a fourth person for the relay, so she said she’d do it. She used to be in the 4 x 100 but Casey took over her spot this year when her times were faster.

The race starts and Izzie gets a good start, and the first 100 meters go well but the second 100 meters prove to be a little trickier. She keeps a good pace and at the hand off point is in second place.

The thing is that Casey is the final leg.

Izzie gets to the finish line of the 4 X 200 relay, out of breath, but she hurries over. The final exchange happens, and their team is in second place at the moment. Casey takes the baton and rounds the final turn.

“Come on.” Izzie yells and claps her hand. “Come on, Newton.”

Izzie is right before the finish line.

Casey is making up ground on the girl that is ahead of her.

“Let’s go, Newton.” Izzie yells as Casey comes even with her competitor. “Push it.”

There’s about 10 meter left as Casey passes the girl.

“Go! Go! Go!” Izzie yells, some of her teammates have joined her.

Casey leans forward the last few steps and crosses the finish line first. She bends at the waist, out of breath, hands on her knees.

Izzie hurries over. She claps Casey on the back. “That was amazing.” She’s still breathing hard herself. “You made up so much ground on that girl.”

“If the rest of you wouldn’t have put me so far behind, I wouldn’t have had to.” Casey groans. “Oh my god. I can’t breathe.” She stands up tall, hands on the top of her head, taking big deep breaths.

“You were great, kid.” Crowley comes over as the relay groups walk off the track.

“Thanks, Coach.” Casey grunts.

“You all did well. I would have like to not see such a big gap there at the end but some of that is the competition. That was a record time for you guys, by the way.”

The four girls do high fives and fist pumps. Crowley laughs and walks away. She has other races to see to.

After they are finished with their respective races it’s time to find something to eat. Casey leads the way toward the concession stand.

“What do you want?” She turns around and asks Izzie who is standing behind her.

“Oh. Um-“ She thought she would just order for herself. “-um, I don’t know- I-“

_Just say something, idiot._

“Nachos with cheese and a pretzel with cheese.”

Casey smirks. “Okay, cheese. Anything else?”

Izzie bites her lip. “A soda.”

Casey rolls her eyes. “I need to know what kind.”

Izzie shrugs. “Mountain Dew.”

“You’re so weird.” Casey whispers before turning around and telling the concession stand attendant what Izzie wants and then adding her own order to it. She pays and they wait.

Izzie moves to stand at Casey’s side. “Thank you.” She whispers.

Casey wraps her arm around Izzie’s shoulders and pull her into her side.

The thing about track is, especially at an away meet, there is a lot of down time. You run your races or do your events; and then you must wait until every event is done before the whole team can leave. And if it’s a big meet, with lots of teams, their can be heats and elimination rounds before a final in an event.

The girls do homework and chat and mostly just hang out to pass the time.

That day’s homework is finished. Casey lays down with her backpack as a head rest. Izzie lays down perpendicular with her head resting on Casey’s thigh, she is reading a book that she picked up from the school library the other day.

It’s getting late and there are only a few events left.

“Hey, Izzie.” Quinn says from a few feet away where she lays. “We should have a party.”

Izzie hums. She knows what that means. She’s been to one of Quinn’s infamous parties. She didn’t have a good time. It was all loud music and drunken teenagers draped all over each other and various pieces of furniture.

“Casey, you haven’t been to one of my parties yet.”

“I have not.” Casey confirms with a posh accent.

“We need to change that.” Quinn says and turns to Penelope. “Let’s start a list of things we need.” They start the party planning.

“Have you ever been to one of Quinn’s parties?” Casey asks Izzie.

“I have.”

“And?”

Izzie looks up at Casey, forgetting her book momentarily. “It’s not worth it. Unless you are just looking to get wasted. Nothing else happens there.”

Casey hums. “Oh.”

“Sorry to disappoint.” Izzie smiles. “But you should go if you want to.”

“You wouldn’t go?”

Izzie shakes her head. She lowers her voice so the other girls around them don’t hear what she has to say. “Been there, done that. It’s not my cup of tea. Hanging out at some rich kid’s house while music tries to deafen you and while everyone is so plastered that they don’t even know you are there. Good time.”

Casey nods.

It’s dark out as the team meander back to the bus.

Izzie yawns as she flops down on the seat, she turns and put her legs up on the bus seat, her back against the window and side wall. She watches as Casey walks up and raises an eyebrow. “Is this seat taken?”

“Yes, my legs need their room.”

Casey hums. “And where am I supposed to sit?”

“Somewhere else.” Izzie smirks.

Casey looks around, mocking Izzie. “I don’t know. Looks like all the other seats are taken. I’ll just have to sit on your legs.” And she does. Casey sits down on top of Izzie’s legs.

“Ow. No.” Izzie whines. “Coach, she’s trying to break my legs.” Izzie yells.

No one pays any attention to them, too used to their antics.

“Help.” Izzie says.

Quinn turns around in the seat in front of her, looks over the seat, shakes her head, and turns back around.

“Newton, get off.” Izzie tries to pull her legs out from under Casey.

“What’s the magic word?” Casey smirks.

“You’re a shithead.” Izzie groans.

“That’s not the magic word.”

“Fine. Please?” Izzie whines.

Casey laughs and stands so that Izzie can move her legs so she can sit down again. Izzie rubs at her shins and shoots Casey a dirty look.

“Oh, please, I didn’t hurt you. Don’t be such a big baby.”

Izzie pouts.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Casey looks away.

The bus starts moving. They are finally leaving the track meet.

“Like what?” Izzie plays along.

“Like you just- that pout- just don’t.”

Izzie giggles nervously. She forgets all about her legs and leans into Casey’s side. “Will you be my pillow? To make up for it.”

“No.” Casey folds her arms over her chest.

“Please.” Izzie wraps her hands around Casey’s arm. “I’m using the magic word.” She tugs on Casey’s arm a little. “Pretty please, with a cherry on top.”

Casey rolls her eyes, giving in.

Fifteen minutes later Izzie is passed out, leaning into Casey’s side, head on her shoulder, mouth hanging open. Asleep.

She feels a shake. “Hey, Sleeping Beauty, time to get up. We’re back.”

Izzie bolts up and looks around in confusion. “Where are we?”

“Back at school. Come on. I’ll drive you home.” Casey nudges Izzie to get up. Everyone else has left the bus already.

Izzie gathers her bag and gets out of the seat.

“You really like sleeping with me, huh?” Casey teases. Izzie always seems to be falling asleep on her. Whether it’s a movie or on the bus after a track meet, or while watching a movie on the bus after a track meet.

Izzie looks down at the bus floor. “Sorry.” She mumbles, embarrassed and feeling a little flushed at the words Casey used.

Casey chuckles. “No need to apologize. It makes me feel important.” Casey follows Izzie off the bus, putting her hands on Izzie’s shoulders from behind.

All Izzie can do is hum and nod in reply.

_You are important._

“Let’s go home.” Casey says once they are outside.

Izzie gets in the passenger’s seat of Elsa car. She fully expects Casey to drive her home, like she said. Instead, Casey takes a turn and goes a different direction then they would to Izzie’s place.

“Where are we going?”

“Home.” Casey shrugs.

“My home isn’t this way.” Izzie says quietly. But she starts to get an idea where they are going. She smiles out the passenger’s side window.

“I know.” Casey smirks. “We don’t have school tomorrow. So…”

They pull into the Gardner driveway. The house is dark. It’s late. Casey unlocks the door and turns to Izzie.

Izzie was leaning forward, ready to follow Casey inside as soon as the door was unlocked, but didn’t expect Casey to turn around and be right in her face. “Oh.” She mumbles.

Casey smiles an inch or two from her face. “You have to be quiet. Everyone is sleeping.” Casey whispers and raises a finger. That finger comes up and presses to Izzie’s lips.

Izzie’s eyes go wide, and she nods.

Casey turns and opens the door. Izzie follows her inside the house. It’s dark and quiet. Izzie feels like they are on some sort of secret spy mission or something.

Casey stops once inside and looks around. Her father has been known to be lurking about in the night. Izzie watches as she looks left and then right. Casey steps further into the room, looks left and right again. She tiptoes into the kitchen and looks left and right. Casey then turns to Izzie, raising her index finger to her lips and then nodding towards the stairs. Izzie nods and makes her way towards the stairs. Casey meets her at the bottom of the staircase. She nods for Izzie to go first and brings a hand up to rest on the small of Izzie’s back, giving her a gentle push.

A tingle runs through Izzie’s entire body. She tries not to show any physical effects in front of Casey. Quietly, she takes the first step and then another. And then Casey’s hand slips away from her back. Izzie ascends the remaining stairs herself. She can hear Casey right behind her.

She gets to Casey’s room and pushes the door open. They are nearly in the clear. There’s something invigorating about this little adventure. Izzie goes over to the bed and sits.

Casey comes barreling in behind her. She comes over to the bed, falling on it, crashing into Izzie, wrapping an arm around her, and pulling her down onto her back. The giggles start as soon as her head hits the mattress. Casey is laughing too. Her eyes closed as she lays on her stomach next to Izzie her arm thrown across Izzie’s shoulders. It’s too good not to laugh.

“Shhhh.” Casey says through her laughter.

“You shhhhh then too.”

Casey shakes her head. “I don’t know why I’m laughing.”

Izzie doesn’t know why either. Maybe the fact that it’s late and everyone else is asleep and they just took an awfully juvenile journey through the house. That’s probably why. “I’m not going to be able to sleep now.”

“We could always watch a movie.” Casey teases.

“Shut up.” She slaps her hand on Casey’s back. But Izzie would like that. To watch a movie together. At night. In the dark. In Casey’s bed. It’s become a favorite activity of hers even if she always falls asleep. Maybe since she always falls asleep.

Casey groans. “I’m going to get ready for bed.” She says but doesn’t move a muscle.

Izzie giggles at her. “Oh yeah.”

“Yep, can’t you see me moving.” Casey doesn’t move though. “I’m walking around the room. Gathering my pajamas and going into the bathroom to change and brush my teeth. I’m doing it right now.”

Izzie giggles and rolls onto her side. “Let’s do it.” She whispers. “Let’s watch a movie.”

Casey locks eyes with Izzie. The atmosphere shifts. “Okay.” She whispers.

Instead of getting ready for bed, Casey grabs her laptop and slips under the covers. She pats the spot to her left and looks over at Izzie. Izzie smiles bashfully and crawls up the bed to get under the covers next to Casey. She cuddles into her side as Casey starts the computer.

“Anything in mind?” Casey whispers.

Izzie shakes her head. “Just not something scary. I don’t want to have nightmares.”

“I’ll protect you.” Casey mumbles.

Izzie wraps her hands around Casey’s bicep and rests her chin on her shoulder. “You better.”

Casey pulls up Monster Inc.

“This is scary.” Izzie whines.

“No, it’s not. It’s a cartoon.”

“Cartoons can be scary.” Izzie argues.

Casey ignores her and starts the movie.

* * *

Izzie wakes up and before she even opens her eyes she knows where she is. It’s never alarming to wake up in Casey’s bed. The smell of the room greets her, the warmth of the bed and the body next to her also register somewhere in Izzie’s brain. She opens her eyes and looks around without moving her head or body or a muscle. Nothing seems out of place, so she rolls onto her right side. Casey’s back faces her. She thinks about reaching out and running her hand down the length of Casey’s arm from her shoulder to her elbow.

“Are you awake?” She whispers instead.

There’s a groan. So, Casey is awake.

She puts that hand on Casey’s shoulder and presses her body into Casey’s, matching her position. Both laying on their right sides, Izzie tucked into Casey from behind. After a minute or two, Izzie falls back to sleep.

The next time she wakes up Casey isn’t in bed anymore. She sits up and looks around the room. The door to the bathroom is closed.

Izzie lays on her back and looks up at the ceiling. The bathroom door pops open. She looks over and Casey is drying her hair with a towel. Izzie smiles and Casey smiles back.

“Thought I’d shower off all that sweat from the meet yesterday.”

Izzie nods.

“You can have a turn as soon as I’m done. And then we’ll get some breakfast.”

“Sounds good.” Izzie’s voice a little hoarse from sleep still.

 _Sounds perfect._ Izzie knows she should get home, but this morning is going incredibly well in her opinion.

After a shower, Izzie makes her way downstairs for breakfast.

“Morning, Izzie.”

“Morning, Mrs. Gardner.” She smiles and sits at the table next to Casey. “Whatcha having?”

Casey has a mouthful of food. She points down at her plate. “Waffles.” She says as she chews.

Izzie grins.

“Would you like some as well, Izzie?”

“Do you have any fruit?”

“Oh, we do. Bananas, and blueberries.” Elsa looks in the fridge.

“I’ll have mine with blueberries on top, if that’s okay?”

“That’s perfectly fine.” Elsa takes the blueberries out and sets them on the counter. “Casey, here, come getting some blueberries. You need to eat more fruit.”

Casey rolls her eyes at Izzie. “Thanks a lot.”

Izzie frowns. “You don’t like blueberries?”

Casey shrugs. “They’re fine. I just-“ She’d rather not have her mother badger her about what she eats. “Blueberries are fine. If I must.”

“Oh, don’t be such a grouch about it. They’re good for you.” Elsa brings over some freshly rinsed blueberries in a little bowl for the pair.

Izzie takes one with her fingers and pops it into her mouth with a smile over at Casey. “They’re good for you.” She parrots what Elsa said. She loves teasing Casey.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, i lied. This is my favorite chapter i've written so far. And none of it is in the show.

“Let’s go Elijah. Enough dinking around. You’re going to miss the bus.” Izzie yells. “And you’re making me late.”

Izzie gets Olivia and Elijah to the bus stop and quickly makes her way to school. Usually, she doesn’t mind school. It’s school but Izzie enjoys learning. But today they won’t be in class. The Juniors are having their team building or betterment day or whatever stupid name that they gave it was. Izzie doesn’t think it’s much of a benefit. Mostly because her classmates don’t take it seriously and just use it as a day to get out of doing schoolwork. Izzie doesn’t care for it either. Frivolous, is a word she might use to describe it.

It’s the whole class sitting at round tables, five persons to a table while they listen to special presentations and speakers. There are activities they are all required to participate in. There’s no follow up afterwards, like, what did you learn or what did you take away from the day that will help you in life.

The girls from the track team all sit at one table. Izzie, Casey, Penelope, Quinn, Frankie.

They do some stupid activities and listen to a couple of speakers for most of the morning. But then it gets to an activity that Izzie is going to excel at. The instructor tells the class to write three compliments down on a sheet of paper about the person sitting to their right.

Izzie smiles shyly at the person to her right. Casey.

She starts writing things down right away.

  1. Protective
  2. Funny/sarcastic humor.
  3. Wavy hair.
  4. A good listener.
  5. Pushes people around her to be better.
  6. Style. You wear what you want. Outside of school of course. Not caring what the trends are or what everyone else is wearing. You wear what feels right to you. And that’s it’s own unique Casey style.



She might be getting carried away, but this task is just too easy. It’s just a list of things that Izzie likes about Casey. She likes that she’s protective of the people she cares about. Casey can be a shit with the things she says, but she’s funny and has a unique sense of humor that most teenagers don’t have or don’t even understand. Izzie knows from personal experience that Casey is a good listener. Izzie feels like Casey makes her want to be better. Be a better person, be more understanding, be less of a snot to her mother, be more appreciative.

Five minutes go by and everyone is chatting. All finished with their compliments and sitting around waiting for the instructor to continue with the activity.

“Okay. Now I want you to read those compliments to that person to your right.”

Izzie swallows thickly. She looks over her list. It was only supposed to be three items. She didn’t know they were going to have to read them aloud. She looks around in a bit of a panic. Maybe she shouldn’t have written down what she did. Was it supposed to be broader? Izzie can’t help that she knows Casey well. Everyone is going to have words like nice, kind, generous. Not things that are as specific as what Izzie has.

Casey starts. She reads three things about Quinn. They all read their compliments and then it gets to Izzie. She reads the first three on her list, glancing at Casey in between each one. She gets to the fourth item and reads that out loud even though everyone else only had two or three items. “A good listener.”

“Geez, Izzie. Overachiever.” Penelope pipes in.

The table all chuckles. Izzie bites her lip nervously before ripping the page out of her notebook and folding it up, not reading what’s left on there. She reaches down to her backpack, that is next to the chair, and tucks the folding paper into the small pocket on the back.

After the instructor talks for another five minutes and wraps up that activity, the class breaks for lunch. Everyone at the table disperses.

Izzie is just finishing her grilled chicken sandwich when Casey comes back over to the table.

“Where’d you go?” Izzie is the only one at the table. No one else has come back yet.

Casey comes over and puts her hands on the arms of the chair Izzie is sitting in, pushing it back away from the table. She bends down and gets in Izzie’s face and grins. Izzie sits up a little straighter in the chair with Casey this close to her. Casey stands up straight, appraises Izzie in the chair, before turning and sitting.

“Wha-“ Izzie breathes out as Casey sits in her lap.

Casey turns slightly, slipping down into the chair, between Izzie’s legs so she can hook her right leg over the top of Izzie’s leg. Very lady-like.

“W-what’s up?” Izzie doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t dare move. She grips onto the arms of the chair as Casey lays back, resting against her, Casey’s head near Izzie’s left shoulder, relaxed.

“What else is on your list?” Casey asks quietly.

“Oh.” She doesn’t want to say now. She’s too embarrassed. And they both know that there are more items on the list. “I might have gone overboard like Penelope was saying.”

“You like my hair wavy?”

“I do.”

They talk quietly so no one else can hear. In a room full of people and plenty of background noise, it’s not hard.

“I noticed it’s not straight very often anymore.”

Casey hums.

“It has more body. I like it.” Izzie looks down at Casey’s hair. It’s right next to her face, on her shoulder, a little messy but wavy, not straightened. Izzie looks around quickly to make sure no one is watching. She reaches up, both sides of Casey’s head, running her fingers through her hair, playing with it, twisting it around in her fingers, running her fingers through to the ends and starting all over again.

“That feels nice.” Casey says softly.

Izzie hums. In a room full of people. One of her greatest fears. Publicly acknowledging her feelings. Publicly displaying any sort of affection for Casey. But Izzie knows, for right now, for today, she can get away with it. No one at this table, and their teammates don’t bat an eye at behavior like this. The benefit of being close when they go to meets, sitting together on the bus, eating whatever meal it is after a meet together, sharing personal space more often than not around the other girls.

There’s this sort of line. A line that shouldn’t be crossed. Izzie knows. But that line is blurry and hard to see. And the rules are confusing. Especially right now. Izzie can’t see the line at all. She lets her feelings take over.

So, Izzie continues, getting lost, she looks around as she runs her fingers over Casey’s scalp before pulling them down to the tips of her hair. They are quiet, both in the moment while the room carries on without them. Casey tips her head in, towards Izzie’s neck. She can feel Casey’s warm breath on her skin, it sends a shiver down her spine.

Izzie stops with the fingers in the hair, it’s much more difficult now that Casey has shifted. She runs her palms along the arms of the chair. Well, the right one on top of Casey’s right hand that is on Casey’s leg, that is on top of her leg. She runs her fingers slowly over and between the spaces on Casey’s hand. She stops when she feels marred skin. Izzie looks down, rolling her thumb over the cut on the side of the middle finger.

“What happened?” She looks at it. It looks like a paper cut. It looks angry and red and like it hurts.

Izzie is too wrapped up in the cut that she doesn’t see the other girls come back and sit down. Not a single one of them are surprised at how they find Casey and Izzie when they come back to the table. Relaxed, content, sitting in the same chair. It’s not unusual.

Quinn’s the one who brings it up. “Geez, what did you do Iz?”

Izzie scrunches up her face at that.

Quinn points at Casey. “She’s asleep.”

_Oh._

She tries to look down, but Casey is too close she can’t see her face without completely moving and jostling her. Izzie doesn’t know what to say. She’s not going to tell her friends what went on. She’s not going to tell them that she played with Casey’s hair and it was so soothing and relaxing that it made her fall asleep. That’s insane.

“Must be tired.” Izzie says. She sees Quinn shake her head and roll her eyes.

Now she has to make a decision. Wake up Casey or let her sleep. She knows their lunch break is coming to an end, but should she prematurely end Casey’s little nap.

_No._

The instructor is the one who ends Casey’s nap a few minutes later. It was a good ten minute nap, but the yelling startles her awake.

Izzie watches Casey look around before she sits up. Casey looks back at her. Izzie just shrugs and smiles. Casey shakes her head and moves back to her own chair.

Izzie is acutely aware of the absence, the loss, the lack of body heat. The warmth between her thighs and across her chest gone. She tries to play attention to what the instructor is saying but it’s no use. Her brain has floated off with other thoughts.

* * *

The alarm goes off far earlier than Izzie would like. She spoke with Olivia the night before about getting her brother on the bus. They’ve done this a number of times now, so the routine is down, but she just needs to make sure Olivia remembers.

The extra work outs before school aren’t bad. The worst part is getting up early. Before the sun.

She meets Casey down at the track. It looks like she’s already stretched and is doing a warmup jog. Izzie stretches quickly and runs out on the track when Casey comes by. “Been here long?”

“No. Maybe five minutes longer than you. The kids get up alright?”

Izzie smiles, grateful that Casey asked about her siblings. She woke Olivia up and got Anastasia out of her bed before turning things over to Olivia. Their mother having gone to work before they got up.

Since they returned from Florida their mother has worked an early shift. Meaning, she’s gone in the morning when they wake up but that she’s home when Olivia and Elijah return home from school.

“Yeah.” Izzie jogs alongside Casey for a full lap.

They stop in front of the bleaches. “I know you want to work on getting our times down and making sure we know everything there is to know about this track and finding any advantages that we can but I think we need to start doing weights.”

“You going to enter the Strongman competition now, Newton?”

Casey shrugs. “No. But if we are being serious about this shouldn’t we have like leg muscles. Not like big muscles but like strengthen the ones we have.”

“You mean you think I have tiny calves?” Izzie juts her leg out and looks at the back of it.

“Well, no. You have- you have- very nice legs.” Casey mumbles and looks at the ground.

Izzie feels her cheeks heat up. “Thanks.” She looks away from Casey.

_Oh wow. Okay._

Izzie clears her throat. “You’re right. Strong cores and strong legs.” Izzie thinks of something now that they are on the topic. “Shouldn’t we be doing that already? Shouldn’t Crowley have the whole team in the weight room like once a week or something.”

“I don’t know.”

“Just to get familiar with the idea of doing weights.”

“Should I ask her?”

Izzie shrugs.

“I think the throwers commandeer the weight room during practice. That might have something to do with it.” Casey offers.

“The throwers?” Izzie tilts her head to the side and crosses her arms over her chest.

“You know what I mean. Don’t look at me like I have two heads. I’ll ask Crowley and then maybe we can dedicate one morning a week to lifting.” Casey lifts her arms and flexes.

Izzie laughs. “Yeah, you have like zero muscles.” She squeezes Casey’s puny bicep.

“Hey!”

Izzie laughs move. “It’s true.”

“Like you can do much better.” Casey challenges.

Izzie makes a fist and then flexes. “I can. I lift a two year old all the time.” She growls to exaggerate her flex.

“You’re embarrassing. Stay away from me.” Casey says and turns away from Izzie. “Are we doing this or just messing around?”

“You ready to have your ass kicked, Newton.” Izzie teases.

“Like you could ever kick my ass.” Casey smirks.

Izzie raises an eyebrow. “Line up. Let’s go.”

Casey wiggles her eyebrows. They get to the starting line. Casey counts them down. “Three, two,-“ Just before she says ‘one’ she takes off.

“Hey.” Izzie whines and takes off after her.

* * *

Izzie’s phone buzzes late on Friday night. She’s playing on the floor with Anastasia and doesn’t want to get up. But Elijah is sitting at the kitchen table with his action figures. She knows they should go to bed soon, even if it is a Friday and they don’t have school the next day. Izzie’s mom is asleep on the couch, useless. Her phone buzzes again over on the kitchen table.

“Elijah can you see what’s on my phone?”

She watches him pick up the phone and look at it. She wrinkles his face up. “It’s a text.”

Izzie rolls her eyes. She knew that much. “From?”

The confusion on his face is adorable.

“Who’s CG?”

_Oh._

“That’s Casey.” She has Casey in her phone as CG. Izzie scrambles to her feet. Depending on what’s in the message she doesn’t want her brother reading it. Izzie hurries over to the table and holds out her hand, knowing Elijah has already read the text.

He smiles up at Izzie. “Casey wants you to go to a dinner party tomorrow.” He hands the phone over.

Izzie takes the phone and reads the message herself.

**‘Hey-o Sam’s girlfriend is having a dinner party tomorrow and apparently my attendance is mandatory. Evan’s working so he can’t go. Would you like to accompany me?”**

“Who’s Evan?” Elijah asks.

Izzie barely hears him as she rolls the words over in her brain. “Huh?”

“Who’s Evan?” Elijah looks up at her with interest.

Izzie scowls. “Casey’s boyfriend.”

“I didn’t know she had a boyfriend.”

Izzie smirks at him. “I don’t tell you everything. You don’t need to know that. Go on, get ready for bed.” She shoos him away with a hand.

He huffs and slides off the chair to get ready for bed.

Izzie holds her phone in her hands. Thumbs ready to type a reply. But what. Does she want to go? Izzie would rather hang out with Casey alone instead of with a group of people she doesn’t know. She knows Sam though. Izzie wonders what the party will be like. Isn’t that something adults do? She guesses technically Sam is an adult and his friends probably are as well. But it’s like something grown up, mature adults do. A dinner party. She’d rather see Casey though, even in a group, than not at all.

**Okay. I’m in.** Izzie types out and hits send.

Her phone buzzes right away. **Great. We need to go shopping tomorrow for something to wear. It’s a fancy dinner. We’ll make a day of it.**

Izzie smiles like an idiot. She gets to hang out with Casey before the dinner. Perfect. **Shopping?**

Izzie bites at her lip as she waits for a reply. **We’ll go to the thrift store.**

**Perfect. Send me the details in the morning. I have to put the kids to bed now.**

Izzie goes to bed thinking about how her day might go tomorrow. She thinks the possibilities are endless.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely love this portion. This is the part that I wrote first. Out of everything that I’ve written so far. I had this idea and then I developed the rest around it.
> 
> It’s Pre Dinner Party.

Casey picks her up after lunch. Izzie bounds out to the car. She managed to get twenty bucks out of her mother for the day. Not that she really needed it. She still has money saved up from her summer waitressing job. She hops into the car excited and ready to go. “Hey.” She smiles over at Casey.

“Good afternoon.” Casey says in a posh accent.

Izzie giggles. “So, do you have a plan?”

“Ah.” Casey backs out of her parking space. “Yes. We’ll go get outfits for this stupid dinner.”

“You think it’s stupid?” Izzie thought maybe it would be fun.

“Paige, Sam’s girlfriend, is very- what’s the word. Anal? High strung? Anyway, she has rules and she sent out e-invites. She said no tweed. So, I need to find something that’s tweed.” Casey plots.

Izzie laughs. “That’s mean.”

Casey shrugs. “Maybe we can make this fun.” She glances over at Izzie. Izzie smiles and nods. “Oh, and Paige won’t even be there. So what’s the worst she could do.”

“How can you host a dinner party and not even be there?”

“She’ll be there virtually. I kinda feel bad for Sam. He has to set everything up at the house.”

“We could help him.” Izzie offers.

Casey hums. “Nah. He’s a big boy. He can do it.”

Izzie gazes over at Casey. “You’re such a good sister.” She says softly.

“Eww, don’t say that.” Casey jokes. They share a laugh.

Izzie puts a palm on Casey’s forearm. “You are though.” She knows Casey probably doesn’t want to attend the dinner party but wants to do it for Sam.

Casey rolls her eyes but nods.

They go down the aisles. Izzie stops and starts, looking through the skirts and shorts for something to wear. She goes to the ‘fancy’ pants section. And looks through those. Gathering a few items from each section that she stops at.

Izzie realizes she lost Casey at some point, too focused on looking at all the items the thrift store has to offer. She looks around the store before spotting her. Izzie ventures over.

Casey is looking at the suits. “Look what I found.” Casey has a few other items in her arm.

Izzie looks at the suit and nods. “Why don’t you try it on?” She encourages.

Casey turns her head to look over at her, a bit of apprehension on her face. “You think so?”

Izzie shrugs. “Why not?” She doesn’t see why Casey can’t wear a suit. It is fancy dress, isn’t it?

A small smile forms on Casey’s lips. “Yeah. Okay.” She doesn’t need any more convincing than that.

“I’m gonna go try these on.” Izzie jiggles the pile in her arms.

“I’ll come with.” Casey says and grabs the suit. “Let’s get rooms next to each other.”

Izzie just grins.

They go to the changing rooms. Izzie starts with trying on some skirts but doesn’t like any of them or they don’t fit quite right or aren’t appropriate for a dinner party. Then she tries on the slacks and pants that she picked out.

There’s a knock on her door. “Yeah?”

“Come out here.” Casey says. Izzie can hear a little waver in her voice.

Izzie fastens the button of the slacks she has on. “Okay.” She pushes the door open and Casey stands there in front of her changing room door. Izzie’s mouth falls open slightly. A little gasp of air comes out.

“What do you think?” Casey stands there in the brown three piece suit that she pulled from the rack. She isn’t wearing a shirt underneath the waistcoat so a triangle of skin of her chest is on display.

Izzie has a hard time forming the right words. Or any words. She takes a step forward and feels the fabric on the cuff, tucking her fingers inside, brushing against the inside of Casey’s wrist. She looks down at the fabric. Her thumb rubbing on the outside of the cuff.

“Well?”

Izzie looks up into Casey’s eyes. She realizes she hasn’t said anything yet. “It fits well.” It’s not what Izzie wants to say. Her eyes shift, focusing lower. “You’re going to have to find a shirt to wear underneath though if this is what you’re going to wear.”

Casey shifts as Izzie’s eyes linger on her exposed skin. “Yeah. I have some other things to try on yet.” She makes an anxious move to head back into her dressing room.

Izzie nods. She shakes the fuzziness out of her head. She knows she’s going to have to find something to wear for the dinner and nothing that she has in the dressing room screams out to her to be the perfect outfit. Izzie walks around and picks out a few more items.

“What do you think about this shirt?” Casey asks as she pops out of the dressing room. She’s wearing a red button down shirt with the name John on it. She still has the suit pants on.

Izzie reapproaches the changing rooms. “Not for the dinner.” Izzie shakes her head. “But you should get it.”

Casey smirks and goes back into her dressing room. She puts the suit back on and comes out to wait for Izzie. “What are you doing in there?” Casey leans against the door. “Let me see.” She whines, impatient.

The door opens and Casey steps back. Izzie tugs at the bottom hem of the red dress. “It’s too short but what do you think?”

Izzie looks up and Casey is staring at her. “Well, it’s very red.”

Izzie giggles. “Anything else?”

Casey shakes her head and presses her lips together tightly.

“Oh.” Izzie turns to go back into the dressing room thinking that Casey doesn’t approve.

“Wait.” Casey reaches out and grabs Izzie’s wrist. “Do a twirl for me?”

Izzie blushes but does as Casey asks. She hears a satisfied hum from Casey as she twirls. “You look-“ Izzie comes to a halt in front of Casey again. “Amazing.” Casey whispers.

Izzie ducks her head with a bashful smile. “Thank you.” She whispers. Izzie puts a hand on Casey’s shoulder. “This suit is a weird color.” She picks at the collar. “But-“ Izzie bites her lip debating on whether or not she should say what she’s thinking. “But- it looks fabulous on you.” She risks it.

“Fabulous, huh?” Casey wiggles her eyebrows.

Izzie continues. “You should wear a shirt that matches what I’m wearing.”

Casey’s eyes light up. “Good idea.” She looks around. “What are you wearing?”

Izzie giggles. “This.” She bites her lip waiting for Casey to say something.

Casey smirks, taking in Izzie in the dress once again. “I thought it was too short.”

Izzie nods. “I like it.” And Izzie likes that Casey likes it. “I think I’ll wear like spandex shorts on underneath or something. I have some at home. We’d have to stop and pick them up though.”

“Okay.” Casey readily agrees.

They change and gather their things from the dressing room. “Let’s find me a red shirt that matches.” Casey leads the way.

* * *

Casey is driving them back over to Izzie’s place. “So, Evan was supposed to go on a ride along with my dad. To see if he wanted to be a paramedic. But then my dad came home and said that he never showed up. That he didn’t call or text or anything.”

“Rude.” Izzie frowns.

“Yeah. And I asked Evan about it and he just avoided the topic and said something came up, but he was being really weird about it. The least he could have done was call and say that he had to cancel, right?” Casey glances over at Izzie quickly.

“Yeah. As a courtesy, at least.” It’s an interesting development. Izzie wonders what the reason was that Evan bailed. It had to be something super important because Izzie wouldn’t bail on an opportunity like that just because. She wonders if Evan is afraid of Casey’s dad. _Maybe he should be._

Doug can be elusive. At least when Izzie has been around but when she has been in his presence, he doesn’t give any scary or threatening vibes. Then again she’s not a teenage boy dating his daughter.

They pull up to the building.

“Do you mind waiting out here?” Izzie asks with a pleading look.

Casey shakes her head. “If you want.” She knows Izzie is self-conscious of her home life and where she lives. She’s fine with staying in the car if that’s what Izzie wants.

So, Casey waits in the car while Izzie goes inside. She runs in and changes, she finds the blank spandex shorts that she needs and pulls those on.

“You look good, Izzie.” Elijah says from behind her.

Izzie jumps. “Don’t sneak up on people like that.” She tells him. “But thank you.”

“Okay, have fun.” He ducks back out of the room.

Izzie goes in the bathroom and brushes out her hair. She doesn’t have time to wash it or make it look any better so this will have to do. She puts a little powder on her cheeks and some lip gloss and is ready to rock and roll. Izzie looks at herself in the mirror.

_I hope Casey likes it._

She knows it’s silly to think but she can’t help it. With one last look in the mirror, Izzie heads out.

“Where are you off to?” Her mother pipes up from the couch.

“I’m going out.”

“She’s going to Casey’s.” Elijah exclaims.

“Elijah.” Izzie scolds him. She’s going to have to sit him down and have a talk with him about things that he hears that he should and shouldn’t repeat.

“Of course.” Her mother scowls. “What is it with this Casey person?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Izzie fires back.

“It means you spend an awful lot of time with her.”

“She’s my friend. We’re friends.” Izzie crosses her arms. She doesn’t know what her mother is getting at, but she doesn’t like her attitude towards Casey.

“Okay.”

Izzie rolls her eyes. “I’m leaving.”

She marches out to the car. “Sorry it took so long.” Izzie apologizes as she slides into the front seat. She eyes Casey with big imploring eyes. “My mom was being a nosy jerk.” She grins. “Let’s go.” Izzie is excited. Tonight should be fun. Well, Casey said it will either be fun or lame.

“We should show up in our outfits.” Izzie suggests. “You need to change.” Since she’s already in her outfit.

“And where to your purpose I do that?” Casey arches an eyebrow. “In the middle of the street?”

Izzie smirks. “Don’t be a smart ass.”

“Oooooh.” Casey chuckles.

“A gas station bathroom maybe. Or you could change in the car quick. I could provide cover.” Izzie’s just making suggestions.

“You’ll cover all of the windows?” Casey teases.

Izzie sighs. “Well no. Park somewhere where no one is around. And I’ll just like watch out for anyone coming.”

Casey glances over. “Promise?” She wiggles her eyebrows at Izzie.

Izzie’s mouth goes dry. “Y-yeah.” She tries to get salvia back in her mouth. “We could stop at the store. We should stop and pick something up to bring to the dinner. That’s customary, right? Bringing wine or something when someone invites you over for dinner?”

“You do know it’s at my house, right?” Casey says.

“I do.” Izzie whispers.

“We can’t bring wine though.”

“No, we can’t.” Izzie agrees. “Remember that time we drank that vodka in Crowley’s office.”

Casey doesn’t remember the details. “I’ll never forget it.”

“Wow, really?” Izzie looks over at Casey as she drives. “You drank more than I did that day. I would’ve thought you wouldn’t remember a single thing the next day.”

Casey hums. “I mean yes and no. I don’t remember the details of the conversation, but I remember us sitting there on the couch, for what, over at hour and just talking. And that’s the day we became friends, so I’ll never forget that.”

_Wow._ That makes Izzie nervous for some reason. Maybe she underestimated Casey a little at first. She’s a real one.

“You can change here. There’s no one around. Just park over in the corner.” Izzie points to the far end of the parking lot.

“Okay.”

Casey changes quickly as Izzie keeps watch outside the car. She stands there with her back to the car, arms folded over her chest.

“Do I look presentable?”

Izzie turns around and her breath catches. _Holy shit._ Casey looks better in that three piece suit now than she did at the thrift store. She thinks it’s was probably the horrible thrift store lighting that prevented Casey from looking her best.

“You’ll do.” She grins. The suit is a weird color and its tweed so that doesn’t help but Casey wears it well. She wants to go over and run her hands down the front of the suit but knows she’s in public. “I like the little pop of red.”

Casey struts over to her. “Matchy matchy. Like you said.” Casey looks between them. “Though the reds aren’t exactly the same.”

Izzie likes the uniqueness of Casey’s red graphic t-shirt. “It’s close enough.” She mumbles. It doesn’t matter at this point. This is what they’re wearing.

Casey offers her elbow. “Shall we go in?”

Izzie smiles and hooks her hand around Casey’s elbow. A little thrill runs through her entire body as they walk into the store.

They get a few looks from the few people that are inside, and Izzie tries to ignore them. She knows they look like a strange pair walking into a grocery store in their fancy thrift store clothes. She grabs a shopping cart, dropping Casey’s elbow in exchange for pushing it around the store. They probably don’t need the cart though; she realizes after she’s taken it.

“What should we get?” Casey asks.

“I don’t know. Maybe a dessert.”

Casey stops and gives her a pointed look. “I don’t know if that’s on Paige’s menu.”

Izzie shrugs and they laugh.

They start at one end of the store and go down every aisle. Even if it’s an aisle that wouldn’t have anything on it that they could bring to dinner. Casey walks at her left elbow as they browse the aisles.

Casey nudges her on the next aisle. Izzie looks over and Casey is walking with her back straight, her shoulders back, and her hand tucked in between the buttons of the waistcoat. Izzie grins and giggles. “A proper gentleman.”

Casey nods, one exaggerated nod.

Izzie shakes her head and goes back to looking at the items on the shelves. They are in the baking aisle. None of the items on the aisle helpful unless they want to bake a cake from scratch. Izzie looks around. There’s no one else in the aisle. She starts running, pushing the cart in front of her, when she picks up enough speed, Izzie hops on the bar on the back of the cart that connects the wheels and rides the cart down the aisle.

She can hear Casey laughing behind her. “Wait for me.”

Izzie grins and hops off, stopping the cart to look back. Casey has nearly caught up to her by then. They are track stars. They laugh and Casey tries to get to the cart but Izzie blocks her. There is a little skirmish before an old lady is standing in front of them trying to get around.

“Sorry.” Izzie mumbles and moves the cart out of the way.

“Pardon us.” Casey says with a nod at the old lady.

The old lady just gives them a tight-lipped smile.

“Let’s go.” Casey mouths and points down the aisle, away from the old lady. Izzie tries not to giggle.

On the next aisle, Casey standing in front of the cart forcing Izzie to stop. “Are you going to move?” She wonders what Casey’s up to.

Casey grins mischievous. “Okay.” She does move. She hops into the empty cart. “Better?”

Izzie laughs. “Get out of there.”

Casey sits, her knees to her chest, facing Izzie and shaking her head. “Let’s go.” She smirks, a challenge.

Izzie pushes Casey around the rest of the store in the cart. Casey tries to reach out for things on shelves, but Izzie slaps her arms down. “No.” She scolds like Casey is a child.

Casey pouts. Izzie wants to lean in and kiss that pout right off of her face but knows she can’t. She looks around and they keep moving. Up and down all the aisle until the run out of aisles and they still don’t have something to bring to the dinner.

They get to the back corner of the store. The bakery. “How about pie?” Izzie asks.

Casey raises a finger in the air. “Ah, pie. Brilliant, ma’lady. What kind?” Casey grips the top rim of the cart with both hands, leaning over the edge, looking over the rack of pies.

“You pick?” Izzie says. “What’s your favorite?”

There is a hum. “Blueberry, apple.” She shifts her attention from the pies to Izzie. “I think I like fruit pies the best. Pumpkin is good on holidays but there’s just something about a fruit pie. The flaky crust. And then when it’s warmed up. The warm gooey insides.” Casey licks her lips.

All Izzie can do is nod and try to swallow the tightness that’s formed in her throat. She picks up two apples pies and holds them out to Casey in the cart. Casey takes the pies in hand and Izzie pushes her to the checkout.

The checkout lady gives them a look as Casey puts the pies on the belt.

“Afternoon.” Casey tips an imaginary hat at her, which gets a giggle from Izzie.

The lady scans the pies and they pay. “Okay, get out. We don’t need to bring the cart outside.”

Casey pouts. “Push me to the car.”

Izzie knows she’s not going to get out, so she rolls her eyes and starts pushing. Casey smiles triumphantly in the cart.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dinner party

They get to the Gardner house.

“Don’t think anyone is here yet. Hopefully, Sam’s not freaking out.” Casey parks and gets out.

Izzie takes the pies and follows Casey into the house.

“Hey, dorks.” Casey announces their presence loudly as she runs through the door.

Sam is standing at the table ‘talking’ with virtual Paige.

Izzie comes filing in behind Casey, pies in hand.

“Look what I found at the thrift store.” Casey holds her arms out, showing off her suit.

“And I brought pie to make up for it.” Izzie jokes and looks to Casey. Casey is grinning at her joke.

“Sam, I said no tweed.” Virtual Paige complains.

“Oh, my bad.”

Izzie laughs. She knows Casey has done this on purpose and she has to admit that Paige’s reaction is totally worth it.

“I thought you said only tweed.” Casey grins, in on the plot together.

“We’ll make it work.” Paige skulks and moves on. “Now what time will Evan be arriving?”

“He’s working, so Izzie’s filling in.” Casey wraps an arm around Izzie.

Izzie grins. Now is her time to shine. “I’m her date.” _That felt so good to say._

“Oh. Okay. Tweed suits. New guests. I mean what’s in the pie? Dog poop?”

Izzie wraps her arms around the pies and shrugs a little. She knows they’ve set Paige off. She looks to Casey and they share a giggle at being so naughty.

The doorbell rings. Paige gets all excited. “That’s the delivery guy. Ladies, please take the pies to the kitchen. Sam if you’ll take me to the door so I can check the bags.”

Izzie heads to the kitchen and Casey follows.

“The look on Paige’s face was well worth the eleven dollars but I gotta say this suit itches like a bitch.”

Izzie puts the pies on the counter and turns to Casey.

Casey is trying to scratch her own back. “And there’s a spot on my back that I can’t quiet reach.”

_I’ll do it._

“I can reach it.” Izzie says matter-of-factly. She leans in and starts scratching over the fabric at the center of Casey back.

But Casey pulls away after a few seconds. Izzie takes her hand back, holding it in the other.

“So weird that Evan didn’t say anything about my dad, right.” Casey leans back against the counter.

“Yeah, he was probably just embarrassed.” Izzie fiddles with the pies awkwardly. “But he should’ve at least called.”

Casey nods. “Right.”

Izzie turns back to face Casey. “Whatever. Boys are dumb.” She shrugs. She doesn’t know if she’s ever said a truer statement. “We don’t need them.”

Casey nods. “Yeah, screw boys. Thanks for being my date to this insane dinner.”

_So, it is a date?_

“Yeah.” Izzie says softly. She couldn’t think of doing anything better right now.

“What’s insane about it?” Robot Paige says from behind them.

Casey and Izzie jump, caught, and spin around.

“Ah, nothing.” Izzie doesn’t want to actually offend Paige. Mess with her and help Casey mess with her, sure. But the dinner idea is a nice one.

“All cool robo-host.” Casey cracks another joke.

Paige glares at them angrily.

Casey looks to Sam as he holding robot Paige. “Is this cheering you up?”

Izzie didn’t know Sam needed cheering up. But it’s nice of Casey to be doing this if that’s the real reason.

“No.” Sam frowns and takes Paige away from them.

“I’m happy.” Paige says as she disappears.

“So, who else is coming to this thing?” Izzie asks.

Casey hums. “Sam’s friend Zahid. He’s pretty cool. And apparently his new girlfriend. We have to scope her out tonight to see if she’s acceptable.”

“Oh.” Izzie nods. “Anyone else?”

Casey pretends to think about it, looking up at the ceiling. “Nope. Just us and them and Sam and virtual Paige.”

“Helllllooooo.” That’s Zahid.

“Let’s go.” Casey marches out of the kitchen and Izzie follows her like an obedient puppy.

There’s a meeting at the front door. “Hey.”

“Everyone.” Zahid is dramatic. He raises his hands to the side to showcase his girlfriend. “This is Gretchen.”

Gretchen bows.

Casey and Izzie nod in unison.

“We met at a dumpster.” Zahid announces for some reason. “She’s my soulmate. AND- my solemate.” The puns have started. He lifts up his shoe and claps it with the sole of Gretchen’s shoe when she lifts hers as well. “Same shoe size. These are hers.”

“Nice to meet everyone.”

Zahid starts with introductions. “Gretch, this is Casey.”

“If it helps you remember I’m the one in tweed.”

Izzie looks up at Casey fondly. That tweed joke is still killing it in Izzie’s opinion.

“I don’t know this one.”

Izzie waves. “I’m Izzie.” She says softly and does a little hop.

“She came with the suit.” Casey supplies.

Izzie looks over at Casey again at that.

Zahid moves on. “Uh, the robot is Paige.”

Paige tries to say hi, but the connection is bad.

“I think your girlfriend is buffering.” Gretchen says bluntly.

_Someone else who is upfront._

“Our Wi-Fi doesn’t reach the front door.” Sam explains. “We don’t typically stream guests in this area.”

“And the man himself, Samuel Gardner.” Zahid announces loudly.

“I have been hearing all about Zahid’s best friend. The smartest person he knows. So, I figured I’d scope out the competition.”

Sam in his own self-deprecating way. “Well, I failed my Socratic seminar so I can’t be that smart.”

“That’s what I thought.” Gretchen says flatly.

Casey and Izzie both scowl at Gretchen’s dig at Sam. They share a look both knowing that there’s something off with this Gretchen character and not liking it.

The group moves to the table and the food is doled out. It’s quiet as they all dig into their meals but eventually the conversation starts flowing. Paige and her need to be in control starts. “So, since we have a new guest.”

_Is that me? Or does she mean Gretchen?_

“I thought we should start with an ice breaker. It’s called Betty Boop To-“

“Nope.” Casey reaches over and puts robot Paige face down onto the plate that she was propped up on. “So, Gretchen, where’re you from?” Casey needs background information if they are going to properly vet Gretchen.

“Near the Wal-Mart. But my mom’s from Melbourne, so I’m half Australian.”

Casey hums.

“Zahid hates Australians.” Sam says looking down at his phone.

Izzie has noticed that he’s been preoccupied with something the last few minutes and isn’t presently enjoying dinner.

“I don’t hate this little koala. Especially when she plays me digeridoo.”

“Yuck.” Izzie groans. He had to say that? Right in the middle of dinner. She glances at Casey. _Can you believe this?_ Before taking another bite of her dinner. It, somehow, doesn’t taste as good anymore.

“Digeri-eww.” Casey smirks.

_At least Casey’s still funny._

“Ohh, lovely burn.” Zahid gives Casey props. “Gretchen thinks I use the word dope too much. So now when I’m about to say dope I say lovely instead.”

Izzie doesn’t really know if that’s an improvement or not.

“I just know you can do better.” Gretchen adds.

Sam throws his cutlery down. “That’s it.”

Izzie slowly turns away from the strange couple across the table from her to Sam and his distress.

“My ethics professor has officially taken longer grading my paper than it took me to write it.” He shoves his phone back into his pocket.

“Who cares. College is just a big ol waste of time and money.”

“What?” Sam doesn’t take too kindly to that. “That’s not true.”

“No one successful ever graduated college. Plus, you can learn everything on Youtube these days.”

“She has me questioning everything.”

Izzie is questioning her.

“HEEEYYYYY!” Paige screams. Zahid spills his drink on his shirt. Paige complains about missing out. She asks someone to pass the guacamole as a joke, but no one laughs. Zahid wonders about his ruined shirt and asks to borrow a shirt from Sam. Izzie is starting to think this dinner is slowly turning into a shit show.

“So, is it time for an ice breaker?” Paige announces. “Oh, we could do this or that. First one, toilet paper. Over or under?”

Izzie leans into Casey and whispers in her ear. “Is she always like this?”

Casey turns so they are face to face. “Yeah, why did you think I wanted you to come?”

Izzie’s scoffs.

Casey changes the subject to get Paige to stop screaming in her ear. She’s really regretting sitting next to robo-Paige now. “Ohhh, melty brie. Brie and Mexican food, I love it.” She mocks Paige’s food selection. “Where’d that come from?”

Paige is excited that Casey asked. “I have a cheese guy.”

Casey hums.

“Here it is.” Sam has facts. “Statistics show that college graduates are one hundred and seventy-seven times more likely than high school grads to earn four million dollars or more.”

“Is that what life is all about? Earning money?” Gretchen asks, all snotty about it.

Izzie knows the answer to this question. She lives it every day. “Kinda.” If her mother would have gotten more than a high school education Izzie is sure that her family would be in a better place. If you are wealthy or well off you don’t need to worry about earning money. But when you’re not, you worry every month about earning enough money to pay the rent, keep the electricity on, have running water. As a society we have to earn money to have the basic necessities in life. That’s how it is.

“College just creates drones. Cogs in a system. Robots.” She imitates a robot. “Must. Make. Money.”

Casey has had enough. She’s not going to let Gretchen badger her brother. She creates a diversion. “Must. Eat. Cheese.” She reaches over to the cheese plate which is on the other side of Izzie. She leans as far as she can but can’t quite reach the piece of cheese she wants. She gets an assist from Izzie.

“I got it.” Izzie grabs a piece of cheese.

Casey sits back in her seat as Izzie brings the cheese over to her. She holds out her hand to take the cheese from Izzie, but Izzie brings the cheese up to Casey’s mouth instead of putting it in her hand.

Casey opens her mouth, stutters but Izzie revels in the act of putting the piece of cheese in Casey’s mouth. Awkward? Maybe. But the cheese got to its destination with success.

Sadly, Sam continues on with the conversation. Casey’s distraction has failed.

Gretchen argues her point.

Casey doesn’t like it. “Sweet Gretchen, is there a reason you are antagonizing my brother?”

“We’re just talking.”

_No, you’re not._ Izzie knows what this Gretchen is trying to do.

“Casey, I have to pee. Do you?” Paige asks through her screen.

Izzie cringes. _She can’t be serious._

“I am not taking you to the bathroom with me, Paige.”

“Come on.” Paige whines. “This is what girls do.”

“Alright. Fine.” Casey takes her napkin from her lap. She points a finger at Izzie. “Don’t eat my cheese.” She threatens.

_Oh, I won’t._

Izzie watches as Casey grabs the tablet and leaves the table.

_Don’t leave me here alone with them Casey. Take me to the bathroom with you, not Paige._

Sam reads from his phone. “The computer, the seatbelt and fluoride toothpaste were all invented by college educated people.” He’s serious about winning this argument with Gretchen.

“Sure, but what about all the inventions by non-college educated people. Fire, the wheel, and loin cloths.”

_Seriously? That’s cavemen._

“My mom didn’t go to college and she invented the tampon gravity bong.” Izzie messes with Gretchen. Her mom hasn’t invented anything in her entire life.

“That was your mom?”

Izzie nods the point home. “Yeah.”

There are footsteps and Izzie thinks maybe it’s Casey coming back.

“Hey guys.”

That’s not Casey.

_I thought he was working._

“Ooh, melty brie.” Evan goes for the cheese.

_Casey said not to eat that._

Gretchen and Sam continue to go back and forth about college, but all Izzie can think about is why Evan is standing right next to her.

Sam introduces Evan to Gretchen.

Evan says ‘hey’ to Gretchen before he addresses Izzie. “What’s up, Izzie?”

_I am. I’m leaving this table._

Izzie slams her palms on the table and pushes herself to her feet and goes into the kitchen.

“This brie is really good.” Evan nearly shouts in Izzie’s exit from the table. He follows her into the kitchen to see what’s wrong. “Is everything okay?” He asks.

She hates that he’s trying to be a good guy.

Izzie turns to him. “I mean, at least you had the decency to show up.” She huffs angerly at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He’s caught off guard.

Casey hurries in. “Evan.”

Izzie is too busy shooting daggers at him with her eyes to bother with Casey’s presence.

Casey comes to stand next to Izzie. “Hey.” She looks between the two of them. “What’s this look about?”

Izzie looks away from Evan briefly to collect her thoughts. “I was just saying I’m glad that he bothered to come instead of just standing us up.” She knows she shouldn’t have said it, but she couldn’t help it.

“Izzie.” Casey doesn’t like where this is going.

“What?” Evan is more confused now than he was before.

“You stood up her dad.” Izzie gets defensive.

Evan stands there with the accusation. He’s not sure what to say or where to begin. He takes a step towards Casey. “You told her that.” He whispers.

“Well, yeah. She’s my friend and I was upset.”

Izzie puts a hand on her hip ready to hear him explain what happened.

“You never told me what happened with my dad.”

There is a scream from Paige. All three look to the stairs as Zahid runs down the stairs with the tablet.

Paige and Zahid explain what happened in bathroom.

And Izzie can’t quite believe it. This is going from bad to worse rather quickly.

Paige blames Casey for leaving her in the bathroom.

Zahid apologizes.

Casey blames Evan for showing up. “Paige, I’m sorry I heard Evan coming so I just-“

“Oh, come on. So, this is my fault now.” Evan whines.

Izzie stands there with her hands on her hips as this all plays out, still peeved about Evan standing up Casey’s dad.

“Good party.” Evan scoffs.

“Chill out, dude.” Izzie warns him.

_Again with the dude._

“You chill out.” Evan throws back.

Gretchen has to open her big dumb mouth. “I would be upset if I were him too. I thought you two were a couple.”

“What?” Izzie and Casey say in unison.

_This isn’t good._

“Come on.” Clearly Evan doesn’t believe what Gretchen is saying.

“Maybe I should go.” Izzie thinks maybe enough has happened here in the last few minutes. She’ll just leave before things get any worse.

“Yeah.” Casey says loudly. “You probably should.”

“No, I’ll go.” Evan says to Izzie.

“No, we’ll go.” Gretchen says.

“STOP. ALL OF YOU.” Paige yells. “WE ARE HERE TO HAVE FUN.”

Izzie looks at Casey and grimaces. It really is time to go.

Paige rants about them all sitting down again and finishing their dinner party. That is, until she gets a phone call and signs out.

Just then Mrs. Gardner walks in the door, unaware of the drama, as they all stand near the front door. “Hi, guys. Keep having fun. I’m not here.” She hurries off.

Izzie stands there awkwardly with everyone else. She looks over at Evan and Evan looks back over at her. Izzie turns away from him and crosses her arms over her chest.

Casey finally realizes Sam is missing. “Where’s Sam?”

The crowd disperses looking for Sam. Izzie takes the opportunity to make her exit.

Izzie goes the few feet to the front door and steps outside. She sits on the bench out there. She bummed that she didn’t even get to have any of the pie that they picked up at the store. It looked really good.

She thinks about walking home but knows it’s too dangerous. She makes a phone call for someone to come pick her up. Izzie is ashamed of her actions and what she said to Evan and just wants to be alone. She hopes no one comes outside while she’s still sitting here.

Quinn pulls in the driveway and Izzie hurries over to get in the car.

“What’s going on? Why are you so dressed up? Was it a party? Why didn’t you invite me?” Quinn has more questions than Izzie cares to answer.

“It wasn’t a party. Well, it sort of was but not that kind of party. It was for Sam.”

“Who’s Sam?”

Izzie rolls her eyes. If Quinn weren’t so self-absorbed, she’d know who Sam is. “Sam is Casey’s brother. Just bring me home.” She won’t talk about why she needed to be picked up even if Quinn asks any more questions.

She just sits in the passenger’s seat with her head long low. She picks at the hem of her dress as they drive, thinking about how everything went so wrong.

It’s late, the apartment is dark, quiet. She sneaks in trying not to make a noise. Izzie plops down face first on her bed and starts crying. She tries to be quiet but it’s just all too much to bear anymore. So, the tears come, and they won’t stop. She groans in frustration, hating that she is crying about this. The next thing Izzie hears is a little voice. “Are you okay?” It’s Olivia.

Izzie smashes her face into her pillow.

Olivia climbs down from the top bunk. She hits the floor with a soft thump. She shakes her brother awake. “Eli.” She whispers.

“What?” He sits up, groggy.

“Izzie needs us.”

Izzie hears them and it makes her cry harder. They shouldn’t have to be doing this. They shouldn’t be up in the middle of the night because of her drama.

Olivia puts a knee on the mattress and a hand on Izzie’s back. “Izzie?”

“Go- back to bed.” Izzie mumbles into the pillow.

Olivia waves Elijah over. He comes over and crawls on the bed, over Izzie, to her other side. He lays between her and the wall. Olivia lays on the other side of Izzie, with a hand on her back still.

Elijah puts his head on Izzie’s shoulder. “You’ll be alright.” He repeats the words Izzie has said to him dozens of times in his short life.

Izzie doesn’t really know what’s going on, her head is pounding painfully, and the tears don’t seem to stop, her whole body shakes. But there are these two tiny beings clinging to her, trying to make her feel better even though they have no idea what’s happened. They are so sweet and so caring and possibly the only people in the world that care about her so much.

“I love you.” Elijah whispers.

Izzie sobs, turning to the boy and wrapping her arm around him, pulling him to her chest.

It takes some time but Izzie calms down eventually. The kids are both asleep, tucked into her sides. She knows they should sleep in their own beds but hates the thought of lying in bed alone tonight. It’s not like she’s going to do any sleeping, so it’s fine that they sleep with her. Just for tonight.

Izzie berates herself for being jealous, for snapping at Evan, for the feelings she has for Casey that go beyond that of simple friendship. She vows to do better, to be better, to not be jealous of Evan, to hold her tongue when she thinks not nice thoughts.

It hurts. So much though. She and Casey had such a great day. Everything was going wonderfully but then Evan showed up and she couldn’t stand it. He just had to swoop in like nothing happened. Like he didn’t bail on the ride along. The nerve that boy has. And Izzie couldn’t keep it in. If someone were giving her an opportunity to better herself, she would take it. Izzie knows he must have a reason, but that reason is still unknown, so it just looks bad.

Izzie thinks about the thrift store and the grocery store. Yeah, that was juvenile, but they are kids still, right? She thinks about how good Casey looked in that three piece suit.

But the truth is, that Casey is still choosing Evan over her. That hasn’t changed. At the end of the day, even though they spent the entire day together, Casey is still with Evan. Nothing’s going to change as long as that remains the case. He likely even stayed over at Casey’s house after she left. She tried to like Evan and be friendly with him but that’s probably not going to happen anymore, she knows. She’ll put on a fake smile and grin and bear it when she’s in his presence, but she just can’t bring herself to be buddies with him anymore.

The kids get up in the morning and Izzie goes out to the kitchen and helps them get breakfast. She then tells them that she’s going back to bed and that she wants to be left alone all day. But that she loves them for caring about her last night.


	16. Chapter 16

Monday Izzie doesn’t see Casey all day. She has no idea where she is hiding. That is until they have Chemistry together. They can’t avoid each other then.

Izzie gets to class early, since she doesn’t meet up with Casey in the hall and walk to class with her. She’s sitting on her stool. Resting bitch face in place. She looks straight ahead but hears the stool next to her being pulled out and then there’s a backpack being thrown down on the table. Things are shuffled around. The backpack is put on the floor. Without moving, Izzie looks over out of the corner of her eye as Casey sits on her stool.

She doesn’t say anything. And class starts. The teacher goes through what they are supposed to do in class today. An experiment. Meaning they have to work together with their tablemate. _Lovely._ Izzie rolls her eyes.

When the teacher is finished speaking, she lets the class get to work.

Except Izzie has a question before they get started. She turns to Casey. “You still mad at me?” She knows the answer is most likely yes.

Casey glances over. “Yeah.”

Izzie rolls her eyes. She is so annoyed. She looks back to the front of the class. This experiment is going to be total torture.

“You were such a dick to Evan at the party.” Casey accuses.

Izzie looks over. She takes Casey in for the first time today. Long sleeve shirt, sweater vest, leaning forward, hands on her knees, mad face.

“Why’d you say all that?”

Izzie can’t believe she has to explain. She leans over a little. She angrily whispers. “Because, it was true.”

“It wasn’t your place.” Casey tells her.

“I thought it was.” Someone had to say something, so Izzie did. She wasn’t going to let Evan get off scot free.

“Okay, well I guess I just have to be careful what I tell you from now on.” Casey snips.

“Guess you do.” Izzie can’t believe this.

Casey mocks her. “Guess you do.”

_Really, Casey?_

Izzie wants to laugh but that would ruin the whole point of Casey being anger at her. She doesn’t want to give Casey anything that she can use to end this stupid situation they are in. Izzie is going to stick to her point that someone should have said something about Evan bailing on the ride along and how it was a shitty thing to do.

Izzie looks over at her with confusion.

“I’m sorry.” Casey whispers. “That was childish.”

“Whatever.” Izzie gets to work on their assignment. “Let’s just do this stupid experiment.”

They do the work but with very little talking. Izzie remains on her side of the table. A very hard thing for her to do. And Casey stays put where she is. Izzie keeps looking over at Casey, but Casey ignores her the entire time except to say things pertaining to the experiment.

* * *

When Izzie gets home the kids are in the apartment by themselves.

“Where’s mom?” Izzie asks.

“We don’t know.” Elijah says.

“Lisa brought Anastasia back, but she had to go.” Olivia says.

“She should be home from work by now, right Izzie?” Elijah asks.

Izzie nods. As if she doesn’t have enough to deal with right now. The mother is MIA. She had been doing so well too. She has been home after school nearly every day for her brother and sister. Sure, she’s still got an addiction, but it seemed to be managed. Izzie thinks about what day it is. Monday. Her mother gets paid every other Monday usually, unless it’s a holiday or something.

“Maybe she’s grocery shopping.” Izzie hopes. Her mother hasn’t been MIA without an excuse or explanation since they’ve been back from Florida. Which is really good for her.

The hours pass and their mother doesn’t show up. Evening turns into night. When Izzie gets up the next morning, she searches the apartment for signs of her mother. There are none.

_Fucking wonderful._

Izzie gets the kids ready for school and sends them off. They are worried. And they know Izzie is too. “I’ll find her.” She promises them before they get on the bus.

Next, she gets Anastasia all ready to go for the day. Usually, Lisa watches her if their mom has a day shift at work. Not today, Izzie will take Anastasia with her everywhere she might need to go. She knows she’s potentially in for a long, disappointing, exhausting day.

She calls her grandma with an update on what’s happening. Namely, that her mother has been missing for 24 hours.

“Do you know anything?” Izzie asks.

“No. I’ll make some calls though, Iz.” Grandma tells her. “You worry about yourself and Anastasia until I’m finished.”

“Okay. Thanks.” She knows she shouldn’t have to be skipping school to take care of something like this, but somebody has to. And it’s not the first time she’s missed school because of a problem with her mother.

Izzie’s grandma calls her back an hour later. “I found her.” She sighs.

“Hospital or jail?” Izzie knows those are the two most likely options.

“Jail. Arraignment is this afternoon.”

“Okay. I’ll go down there and see how it goes.” Izzie confirms. She needs her grandmother to make the phone calls and get the info because she’s not an adult but there’s nothing preventing her from going down to the courthouse.

“Are you sure?”

“How else are we going to find out what’s happening? We could wait and see if she calls but there’s no guarantees with that. I feel better finding out the information firsthand.” Izzie explains. She’s already not going to school, she might as well do something with her wasted day.

“Okay.” Her grandma sighs.

Izzie takes Anastasia to Lisa’s across the hall. “I’ll be back by the time the kids are home from school. If not, my grandma will come over to watch the kids.” She tells Lisa.

She sits at the back of the courtroom. It’s a long afternoon. Defendants are escorted in and out to have their arraignment. Finally, it’s her mother’s turn. The judge brings up the possession charges and then her mother pleads not guilty.

Izzie rolls her eyes. _Hard to be not guilty when drugs are literally on your person._

The judge sets the bail. Izzie exits the courtroom and pulls her phone from her pocket. It had been on silent all afternoon while she was in the courthouse.

She sees the texts from Casey. Izzie frowns as she reads them.

**Hey where are you?**

**Are you coming to practice?**

**Hey I’m worried about you. Just let me know you’re ok**

She calls her grandma and tells her what’s happened.

Izzie texts Casey back when she gets home. Grandma is there with the kids. They’re home from school. She doesn’t have time to worry about what Casey thinks. She just sends back that she fine.

**Sorry I’ve been MIA.**

**I’m good.**

**No worries.**

But Izzie has to help figure out what to do now. “Should we pay the bail?” Izzie asks.

Her grandmother frowns and shakes her head. “I don’t know. Maybe we should let her sit in jail for a few days. Give her time to think. Possession charges?”

Izzie nods. “But the bail is higher because it’s not a first offense.” A teenager shouldn’t be as well versed in criminal law terms and the criminal justice system as Izzie is.

“Right.” Her grandma runs her hand through Elijah’s hair. “I’ll make dinner. You do your homework.”

“I didn’t go to school today.” Izzie reminds her.

“Right. Lots going on. I forgot. Help your brother and sister with theirs then.” Izzie does what she’s told. She puts Anastasia in the play pen and goes to the table to see what they are working on. She hopes it’s not fractions; Izzie hates fractions.

They eat dinner and the kids go to play. Izzie helps her grandma with the dishes. “So, did you think about it more?”

Her grandma hums. “She’ll probably call me tonight. And beg to come and get her.”

Izzie hums in agreement. “Will you?”

Grandma turns to her. “Izzie.” She takes Izzie by the shoulders. “You do so much for these kids, this family.” Izzie nods. “It’s not fair on you.”

Izzie shrugs. “Life’s not fair.”

Grandma frowns. “No, it’s not. That being said, I think we should leave her in there for a few days. How much is the bail? Ten percent, right?” Grandma nods.

“Of $2,500.” Izzie supplies.

It’s only $250 but it’s 250 extra dollars that they don’t have. “I’ll ask your uncle James for a loan.” Grandma nods resolutely. “He’ll be furious but-“

There’s a knock on the door.

“Are you expecting someone?” Grandma asks.

Izzie frowns and shakes her head. She goes to the door and opens it. She’s shocked to see Casey standing there. She only opens the door a crack so that she can peek out.

“Hi. Um- hey, um, my mom wanted me to drop off these clothes.” Casey pushes forward a green reusable bag. “For your bother and sisters.” She speaks quickly, nervously.

_Suspicious._

“Thanks.” Izzie reaches out for the bag. “That’s really nice of her.” Izzie steps back into the apartment with the bag, ready to close the door. She doesn’t want Casey seeing inside. She doesn’t want her to see the mess that is her life.

“You weren’t in school today?”

_No shit Sherlock._

“No.” She can’t look at Casey right now, but she’s standing right there, it’s hard not to.

“Is everything okay?”

Izzie looks back into the apartment to make sure her brother and sister aren’t around, that they can’t hear. She takes a step back outside. “No, uh, my mom she disappeared like she sometimes does. And caused a bunch of chaos like she always does.”

Casey gives her a sympathetic look. Izzie doesn’t want it. She doesn’t need anyone’s sympathy or pity.

“But we found her, so it’s fine.” She can’t deal with Casey right now. “Thank your mom for these.” Casey nods. “She’s the best.” She closes the door on Casey. Izzie leans against the door, pressing her forehead to it. The bag of clothes in her hand. She has to take a few deep breathes. Today has been entirely too much and now Casey has to show up.

“Are you alright?” Her grandma asks.

Izzie pushes off the door and puts a smile on. “Yeah.” She turns around and shows off the bag. “My friend’s mom just sent over some clothes for the kids. I was over there a few weeks ago when they were preparing for a clothing drive. These must have been leftover’s that Mrs. Gardner saved for us.”

“That was nice. She seems nice.”

_Oh, she is._

Izzie nods. She plops the bag down on the table. “So, you were saying?” Izzie is ready to pick up their conversation again.

“I think you need a break.”

Izzie tilts her head to the side and looks at her grandma in confusion.

“Let me take the kids for a week.”

“No, no. That’s too much.” Izzie goes to her grandma. “You can’t do that.”

“What if I take them until your mother is out. Then she can keep tabs on her our children again.”

“Do you trust her to do that?” That’s Izzie’s biggest concern; leaving the kids alone with her mom right now.

“Not exactly, but you need a break.” She cups Izzie’s cheek with her hand. Izzie leans into it. “You’re not their mother, Izzie.”

Izzie shrugs. “I know. I just-“ She shrugs again.

“Who was that? That was here just now.” Grandma whispers.

Izzie looks down at her feet, ashamed. “Casey.”

“Why didn’t you let her in?”

Izzie snaps her head up at that. “I can’t have her seeing this.” She waves a hand around in the air.

“Because she’ll judge you?” Grandma raises an eyebrow.

Izzie takes a deep breath. “I don’t know. No. It’s just- we aren’t really talking right now.”

Grandma doesn’t ask why. “Maybe you should fix that. You need a friend right now, Iz.” She pulls Izzie into an embrace. “I’ll take the kids. You can do what you want. You can stay here or go somewhere else, but you take some time for yourself. In a couple days, we can come back to this spot and make any further decision that are needed at that point.”

Grandmas takes the kids. Izzie worries about them. She sits in the silence of the kitchen after they leave. She taps her fingertips against the tabletop. Her grandma told her to take some time for herself but she’s not sure how to do that.

_Now what?_

Izzie thinks back over the past 24 hours or so. Since she got home from school yesterday and her mom wasn’t around. She had been doing so well. Even if her mom wasn’t going to be around, she would tell Izzie or one of the kids. So that’s why it was unusual yesterday when she wasn’t home. It’s happened before, though. Not always getting arrested, but just going MIA for a few days. So, it’s not really that surprising, but it still has to be dealt with.

She puts her elbows on the table and runs her fingers into her hair. If it were just her mother that she was dealing with, that would be enough. But she also has to deal with Casey and that whole elephant in the room.

It was nice of Elsa to send those clothes over, but Izzie does wonder if she sent Casey for a reason other than the clothes. She gets the idea that Elsa more than knows what’s going on with her and Casey. Izzie doesn’t know if that makes her feel better or worse though. That someone knows.

It’s just a lot to try to think about and decipher. Izzie has put that off for a long time too. She’s mostly just avoided what she’s felt for Casey. Mostly because of Evan. She knows it’s there but acting on it or doing something about it is an entirely different problem.

It’s easy to hang out with Casey and be around her. Izzie craves it. She feels alive when she gets to hang out with Casey. She drawn to her for some reason. And when she’s with Casey everything feels right. But she hasn’t really dived deep into what that means.

Now, but now, things have come to a head. They are at a crossroads, Izzie feels. They can continue on being friends and hanging out. Izzie will always feel like she missing out on something though. And maybe one day she can get past that and be okay with it. The problem with that is that Izzie thought Casey had similar feelings. When they are together it almost feels electric. Like there’s this constant current running between them.

So that’s why she’s having such a hard time with it. Casey keeps taking Evan’s side and being with Evan and saying she’s in love with Evan. And her continuing to choose Evan, and be with Evan, just drives Izzie crazy. Like she’s making everything she feels up in her head and that Casey just doesn’t feel the same. And that’s hard to comprehend and deal with.

The other thing she could do, instead of the status quo, is tell Casey how she feels. Flat out. So, there’s no more confusion or misunderstand between them. At least that way there’s a clear direction forward, she thinks.

She knows she’s not going to be staying at home tonight. Izzie gets her phone and sends a text. She goes outside to wait and fifteen minutes later a familiar car pulls up. Izzie gets in the front seat.

“Thanks for picking me up, Mrs. G.”

“No problem. I meant what I said. If you ever need anything.”

Izzie nods. That’s why she texted Casey’s mom. Even if Casey is mad at her and doesn’t want to talk to or see her, she can stay over for at least one night and sleep on the couch or something and talk to Mrs. Gardner. She’s like the mom she always wanted.

They get into the house.

“Casey’s upstairs.” Elsa says.

Izzie hums.

“Not in the mood to talk?”

Izzie shakes her head. “It not that. I just have to figure out what I want to say.”

“Oh.”

“Thanks for sending Casey over with those clothes earlier.” Izzie smiles. “Can I just sit with you for a little bit while I think.”

“Sure. I’ll make some tea.”

They move to the kitchen and Izzie sits at the counter looking down at the countertop as Elsa moves around the room. Izzie thought she could have felt awkward being here, but she feels more comfortable in this house than her own home most of the time. So that helps her relax a little, but it’s still hard to do right now with everything that’s been happening.

The tea is ready, and they sit and drink it. Not talking. Elsa doesn’t ask any questions. She knows that Izzie doesn’t really want to talk; she just wants to sit here with someone, so she isn’t alone.

“Thanks for the tea.” Izzie mumbles, finally coming out of herself a little. “I think it helped. I think I’m going to go upstairs now.”

Elsa smiles kindly and nods. “You do that.”

Izzie climbs the stairs slowly. Almost painfully. She’s made a decision on what she’s going to do. It feels like it’s a now or never moment. It’s scarier than she thought it would be. Her heart hammers in her chest as she gets to the landing and then to Casey’s door. Her hand is sweaty on the knob. She knocks.

“Come in.”

Izzie pushes the door open and sees Casey sitting in the chair. “Hi.” She can hear the nervousness in her own voice.

Casey clammers to her feet, shocked that Izzie is in her room. “Hi.”

Izzie enters and closes the door. She looks at Casey, unsure, before looking at the floor. Where to start. “I’m a jerk.” She throws her hands out and claps them against her sides. The nerves double. “Can we talk?”

“Yeah. Sure.” Casey holds a hand out towards the bed, telling Izzie to sit down.

“So, I wasn’t in school today because my mom went missing and we had to find her. Turns out she’s in jail.”

“Jail?” Casey nearly shouts.

“Yep.” Izzie gives Casey a tight-lipped smile.

“And we left her there.”

The confused look on Casey’s face means further explanation is needed. “We didn’t pay the bail to get her out today. My grandma thinks we should let her sit a few days. She also thinks I need a break, so she took the kids for a few days. And I don’t want to stay at the apartment by myself.”

“You’re staying here.” Casey puts a hand on her knee. “I’m sorry this is happening.” Casey’s hand retreats quickly.

Izzie smiles sadly. “Thanks. It happens sometimes.” Izzie sits nervously with her hands pinched between her legs. “I just feel bad for the kids. It’s scary for them.”

She waits until Casey nods before continuing. “But they’re with my grandma now so-” She bites her lip. Not sure what to say next. “Thank you for letting me stay here.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“And I am so sorry for how I acted at that dinner party.” Izzie knows she has to apologize for that if they are ever going to get past it.

“Dude, it’s okay.”

_No, it’s not, Casey. Don’t say it is._

“No, it’s not okay.” Izzie shakes her head. She wished Casey wouldn’t just let her off the hook so easily. She looks down at the floor, uncomfortable. “I was just stirring shit up just because-“ She rolls her eyes at herself.

_Come on. Out with it._

“What?” Casey fills the pause.

“Because I was jealous.” Izzie shrugs.

_There I said it._

She looks across at Casey, afraid of her reaction.

The confused and scared look on Casey’s face isn’t helping. “Why?”

“You know why.” Izzie doesn’t beat around the bush.

_Come on, Casey. Tell me you know why. Come on, Casey._

Casey looks at her for a long moment. Izzie can see the confusion and fear in her eyes. “We should get ready for bed. It’s getting late.” She jumps up from her chair and starts moving around the room.

Izzie hangs her head and lets out a huff of air.

_Damn it._

Izzie thought a confession would change things but all it’s seemed to do is make Casey more awkward.

They awkwardly get ready for bed. Izzie borrows some clothes from Casey and goes into the bathroom to change into them. She opens the bathroom door. “Can I get a toothbrush? I know your mom must have some.”

Casey nods and hurries out of the room.

Izzie puts her clothes on the chair that Casey was sitting on not that long ago and goes back into the bathroom and looks at herself in the mirror.

_Did I do the right thing?_

“Here.” She doesn’t get to finish that thought as a toothbrush is held in front of her. She takes the toothbrush from Casey with a tight-lipped smile. Izzie brushes her teeth, then takes a deep breath. She goes back into Casey’s room. Casey is already in bed. She’s on her side, faced away from Izzie. So, Izzie slips into bed, laying on her side with her back to Casey’s back. It only takes a few minutes to fall asleep. Izzie always sleeps well here no matter the circumstances.

* * *

Izzie wakes up in the morning and reaches out for Casey. Notwithstanding the previous night, they usually have a little cuddle in the morning anytime Izzie sleeps over. Izzie reaches around, Casey isn’t there. She sits up, the covers falling away from her. With confusion, Izzie looks around before spotting the sleeping bag at the foot of the bed. She gets to her knees, inspecting it further.

Izzie hurries downstairs to find Casey. She sees her loading her backpack for the day. “Did you sleep on the floor last night?” She comes up behind Casey.

Casey looks over her shoulder at her before returning to her backpack. “Yeah, I did. Sweaty in there.” She throws her backpack over her shoulder. “You’re like a furnace.”

_Gee thanks._

Izzie scrunches up her face. “Maybe my body’s just used to sleeping in an apartment were the heater doesn’t always work.” She chuckles awkwardly.

_That was lame._

Izzie bites her lips and approaches Casey. “You alright?” She fiddles with her hands nervously. She wants to reach out and touch Casey.

Casey looks like she might say something but her mom interrupts. “Who wants eggs in the hole?”

They both look over at her.

“Oh, I’m headed out.” Casey points towards the door.

“So early?” Izzie scrunches up her face at Casey, confused. She assumed they’d just go to school together.

“Yeah, I’m behind in Econ.” Casey looks down at the ground, not at Izzie as she speaks. “So, I’m gonna go to the student lounge to study.”

Izzie rolls her eyes. “You should have told me, nerd. I would’ve gone with you.” She folds her arms across her chest. This conversation is clearly getting away from her.

Casey quickly buts in. “Well, I didn’t want to wake you up.”

_What’s with all the excuses._

Elsa claps her hands together. “So, no egg? No hole?”

Izzie opens her mouth to say something to Mrs. Gardner but turns her attention back to Casey. “What about running?”

“I’m gonna skip this morning. I’m a little tired.”

_Another excuse._

“Yeah, of course you are. You were up fooling around with your friend all night.” Mr. Gardner makes his presence known.

Casey scoffs awkwardly. “I gotta go.” She hesitates before moving past Izzie. “See ya.”

Casey leaves a very confused Izzie standing there. She turns just in time to see Casey closing the door. She turns back to face the kitchen. Mrs. Gardner is standing there with her hands on her hips, a sympathetic smile on her face. “Breakfast?” She tries one more time.

Izzie nods. “Let me go get ready and I’ll come back down to eat.” She waits for Elsa to nod. “Thanks.” Izzie tries to smile. She knows it’s not believable.

Izzie comes down again and Sam is sitting at the table eating.

“Good morning, Izzie. Where’s Casey?”

Izzie hums. “Good question.” She doesn’t mean to be rude to Sam.

He looks over at her as she sits next to him, the confusion clear on his face. “What?”

“I’m sorry.” Izzie finds herself. “Apparently, Casey went to school already.”

“Without you?” Sam wrinkles his nose up.

Izzie gives him a tight-lipped smile. “Yeah.”

“Sam, let Izzie eat.” Mrs. Gardner says from the kitchen.

They leave it at that and eat their breakfast. Izzie gets a ride to school from Mrs. Gardner.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn’t relevant but when Evan goes ‘how was the bathroom’ I think it is the most hilarious thing.
> 
> Also we're at 'the kiss'.

Izzie stays at The Gardner’s for a few days. It’s awkward, to say the least. Izzie is starting to regret telling Casey how she felt. Well, not telling her exactly how she felt but more alluding to how she felt, feels. Especially if it’s only going to lead to more awkwardness and problems between them.

To make matters worse, Evan comes over. It’s that second night that Izzie stays over that Evan comes by after dinner. She’s in the bathroom and doesn’t know that he and Casey have come upstairs. She’s been hiding from Evan upstairs since he showed up following dinner. She comes out of the bathroom to see Casey and Evan kissing on the bed.

“Oh.” Izzie nearly jumps out of her skin at the sight.

They pull apart.

“Oh.” Evan repeats.

“Hi.” Izzie is out of breath.

“Hi.” Evan says.

“Hey.” Casey mumbles.

“How was the bathroom?” Evan says loudly.

_Funny? Was he being funny? On purpose?_

Izzie nods enthusiastically. “It was great.” _Awkward._ “Thank you for asking.” She scrunches up her face and looks away from Evan.

“We were just gonna-“

“Make out a little.” Evan whispers.

Izzie cringes internally. “Okay.” What else is she supposed to say. “Yeah. Okay, got it.” She knows when she’s not wanted. Don’t have to tell Izzie twice. “Okay, bye.” Flustered, Izzie hurries out of the room.

“Bye.” Casey says, but it barely registers in Izzie’s brain. She’s more focused on getting the image of Casey and Evan kissing out of her brain.

She goes out in the hallway and wonders if she should go downstairs. She goes over to Sam’s door first.

Izzie knocks and Sam tells her to come in.

“Izzie.” He’s surprised she’s in his room.

“Can I hang out in here with you?”

Sam knows Izzie is staying with them for a few days. It doesn’t bother him. “Okay. I’m just doing homework. So, it might be boring. I also have a strict bedtime. So, when that time comes you have to leave.”

She’s just grateful to be welcomed in someone’s bedroom in this house. “Okay.” Izzie smiles and nods. She sits on the end of his bed.

“Where’s Casey?” Sam asks.

“Oh, well, Evan is here.”

“I know I saw him downstairs.”

“Oh. He’s upstairs now.”

Sam hums. “In Casey’s room?”

“Yeah, in Casey’s room.” Izzie frowns. They seem to come to the same understanding about what in Casey’s room mean.

Sam has his back to her as he sits at his desk, so he doesn’t see the frown.

“That sucks.”

Izzie is interested in that. “Why?”

“For you.” Sam says. “You’re staying here, I understand. And, well, this morning Casey left for school without you. And now Evan is here.” He explains.

“Yeah. It does suck.” Izzie agrees. Sam explains things in Sam’s way, but she gets the feeling that he understands how distant Casey is being. He’s seen them together plenty of times and knows it’s not like his sister to basically ignore her friend.

“Thanks for letting me sit in here.” Izzie says.

“You’re welcome.” Sam focuses on his homework.

* * *

The following morning, Izzie gets up and Casey is gone already. This time it seems she’s slept the entire night in bed, but Izzie has no idea what time she got up and left. A downside to sleeping so well in this house.

Izzie has breakfast with Sam again before getting a ride to school.

It’s only been two days, but Izzie doesn’t know how much longer she can take this treatment. She really regrets what she said, telling Casey how she felt, now. It hasn’t done her any good. There isn’t a clear path forward. She feels just as lost as she ever has. Casey avoids her at school. She sees her at practice though.

Izzie lines up next to Casey in the starting blocks. “Geez, Newton. Haven’t seen you all day.” She makes it clear to Casey that she knows she’s avoiding her. “Feels like I see you less now that I’m living with you.” Izzie gets ready for the gun to go off.

“Hey, not now okay. I’m trying to focus.” Casey complains.

Izzie smirks. “Love our chats.”

The gun goes off and Izzie bursts out of the blocks, leaving Casey in her dust.

Izzie watches Casey struggle the whole way through practice. The irony isn’t lost on her.

She stays over at Casey’s house again that night, but she knows it’s the last night. Even though everyone else in the house makes her feel welcome, Casey doesn’t.

Casey doesn’t even bother to stay at home after practice. She literally drops Izzie off, has dinner, and leaves again. Going over to Evan’s for the evening.

Izzie watches a movie with Casey’s mom. Of course, until she falls asleep.

Elsa wakes her when the movie is over. “Go to bed, sweetie.”

“Is Casey home yet?” The bad part of being asleep she doesn’t know what happened while she was unconscious. She wants to know if she has to deal with Casey avoiding her tonight.

Elsa frowns and shakes her head.

Izzie nods. “This will be the last night.” She tells Elsa. “I’ll be returning home tomorrow after school. There’s no point in staying here if Casey is just going to avoid me from now on.”

Elsa can see the torment in Izzie. She desperately wants to say something but doesn’t know what to say.

“Goodnight.” Izzie gives her a weak smile. “And thanks for letting me stay here. I really appreciate it. It’s a nice break from my sometimes chaotic life.”

“You’re welcome. Anytime.”

Izzie gets up, with a tight-lipped smile, to head to bed.

“Izzie.”

Izzie stops and turns to look over at Mrs. Gardner.

“I’m sorry.” Elsa sighs.

_Me too._

Izzie pulls her lips to one side, a bit of a sad smile. “Thanks.” She whispers before heading upstairs.

The next morning Casey is gone again before she wakes up. She must have come home after Izzie was asleep and left well before she woke up. Izzie is starting to get used to it. It still hurts though. Her friend doesn’t want to be around her anymore. Casey won’t even have a conversation with her about it.

* * *

After school that day and before track practice, Izzie calls her grandma to tell her that she’ll be back at the apartment after she’s done at practice.

“I paid the bail today so your mother should be there.” Grandma explains. “I don’t know how she’s going to be, but for your sake, please don’t start anything with her. Just let it be, or not let it turn into a screaming match.”

Izzie sighs. “I won’t.” She knows her mother is a pain in the ass and problematic, but she’s not going to kick a man while they are down. There’s enough going on.

“I’ll bring the kids back over tomorrow after school.”

When Izzie arrives home, as promised, her mother is there.

“Hi.” She mumbles as she walks in.

“Hi, Isabella. How are you?” Her mother gets up from the couch.

Izzie wrinkles up her face at that. “Are you really asking?”

“Yeah.” Her mother shrugs and comes over to her. She holds onto Izzie’s shoulder’s at arm’s length. “You look-“ She frowns. “Well rested.”

Izzie doubts that’s how she looks, but she has gotten a few good nights of sleep in a comfy bed. Well, that was a perk of staying at the Gardner’s. She always sleeps so well there. Even with her troubles with Casey.

“Thanks.” She mumbles and shrugs for her mother to let her go.

“Aren’t you going to yell at me and tell me how horrible of a mother I am?”

Izzie shrugs. “You seem to have gotten the message, so why should I bother?” She gets a glass of water.

“What’s wrong with you?” Her mother asks. “You don’t have the usually fight or spunk or whatever it is that you have.”

Izzie spins around and narrows her eyes at her mom, debating whether to actually tell her something or not. “My-“ Izzie hums.

“What?”

Izzie sighs. “My friend is avoiding me.”

Her mother narrows her eyes at Izzie. “Casey?”

“That’s the one.” She tips her glass at her mother.

“That must suck.”

Izzie nods. “It does.” She takes a deep steadying breath.

“You’re obsessed with her.”

And her mom had to ruin this.

“I’ll be in my room. Leave me alone, please.” Izzie goes in and slams the door.

* * *

The days pass and each day Casey avoids her like she’s the plague. It gets harder for Izzie to carry on like nothing is wrong, that nothing is wrong with their friendship. And that nothing is wrong with her. Izzie isn’t an overly cheerful person. And mostly she would say that she was a typical moody, grumpy teenager before Casey came along. It’s just that Casey makes her feel lighter. Casey makes her feel happy and excited about things. Casey makes her days better, basically. Or well, she did.

Each day gets a little worse. Until Izzie can’t take it anymore. She’s reached her breaking point. If Casey is going to avoid her forever, then she going to do something to make it permanent. Or at least put an end to this one way or another.

She hinted at how she felt to Casey, but she wonders if maybe Casey is just embarrassed that she did that and really doesn’t feel the same. Izzie wonders if that’s how she would feel if someone came up to her and told her that they had feelings for her when Izzie didn’t have any feelings for that person. Could that be why Casey is avoiding her?

It doesn’t really matter at the end of the day what the reason is that Casey is avoiding her. Izzie is either about to put an end to the avoidance or make it last forever. And it’s a scary feeling. She might be about to lose her one true friend.

She contacts Elsa. Izzie knows it’s a shitty thing, but she needs to know Casey’s whereabouts. If she’s with Evan, Izzie doesn’t know what she’s going to do. But if Casey is at home or by herself, she wants to make it very very clear how she’s feeling. Because this has to end, this avoiding and this limbo, has to end.

Elsa tells her that Casey is at the track.

Izzie goes down there.

She watches Casey run from the shadows of the bleachers. She watches Casey push it. She can tell that Casey is running as fast as she possibly can.

_Trying to outrun her problems._

Izzie can understand that. She tries to do the same thing.

When Casey stops, she pops out. “Strange time to practice. But better late than never.” Izzie is so nervous. “I swear I’m not a stalker.” Casey looks around for an excuse to get out of there. “I just really had to talk to you.” She looks away from Casey. It’s hard admitting these things.

“How’d you find me?” Casey is out of breath.

Izzie scoffs. “Do you even have to ask?”

_Really Casey, come on._

Casey smirks. “Elsa tracks my phone.”

“First off-“ Izzie stops to collect her words before she says them. They’re all scrambled in her brain. “It sucks you’re avoiding me.” She stares at Casey to drive the point home. Izzie’s lips trembles. “I put myself out there.” Izzie counts one finger, slapping it against the opposite palm.

“And I was honest with you.” Two fingers against her palm.

“And for that I get the silent treatment?” She says, exasperated.

Casey just stands there staring at Izzie.

Izzie takes a step towards Casey. “Even if you don’t feel the same you could at least be there for me as a friend.” She knows she looks insane. Nearly crying and an emotional wreck.

“You’re making me feel crazy.” She does, Izzie feels like she’s going to go insane with all these complicated, confusing feelings she has for Casey.

But still, Casey just stands there.

Izzie shakes her head at Casey. She’s done with this nonsense. If Casey’s not going to do anything or say anything then she’s done. “Honestly, if I knew that you were going to be all weird and that this was going to jeopardize our friendship I never, in a million years, would’ve told you how I felt.” She scowls at Casey.

“Because it is becoming incredible clear that you don’t feel the same-“

Izzie registers Casey moving. She doesn’t just move, she lunges forward. At her. Casey’s hands are on her face. Casey’s lips smash into Izzie’s.

They breath into each other. Izzie brings her hand up to Casey’s neck. She feels Casey wrap her arms around her, holding her.

_CASEY._

They exchange kiss after kiss. Intense, mind altering kisses. With Izzie’s hand on Casey’s face, she moves her thumb, rubbing over her bottom lip. Having to actually feel it with something over than her own lips. She feels Casey smile against her thumb and Izzie smiles too.

_Finally._

Casey pulls her in tight by the waist.

_Is this really happening?_

Izzie lifts up on the tip toes to get as close to Casey’s as she can. Her hands on Casey’s neck, holding onto her. Their lips popping and smacking together with each exchange.

Casey rests her forehead against Izzie’s, pressed together, as she holds onto her sides. They each take a few deep breathes of air, eye closed. Casey pulls away but Izzie holds onto her neck, so she doesn’t go too far.

When Izzie opens her eyes, Casey is looking right back at her. Casey’s eyes search her face. Izzie nervously tucks her hair behind her ear.

“Woah.” Casey mumbles.

“Yeah.” Izzie looks at Casey’s lips wanting to kiss her again.

_That’s what it feels like to kiss someone you actually have feelings for._

Casey smirks a little and shakes her head gently. “So?” Casey takes Izzie’s hands in her own.

She can’t stop looking at those lips. “I don’t know.” Izzie is out of breath. She can’t believe that just happened. She’s been wanting that to happen for the longest time. She came here tonight wanting to tell Casey how she’s been making her feel crazy, but she never imagined this would’ve been the result.

“Hungry?” Casey asks. She knows Izzie is always up for a meal. So, it’s the first thing she thinks of.

Izzie sighs. “Actually, I really am.” She hasn’t been eating much the last few days. No appetite with all the drama that was going on. But she feels so much lighter right now and like maybe she won’t go crazy after all.

They laugh about it and all the tension is released.

Casey wraps her arm around Izzie’s shoulder and turns. “Where do you want to go?”

_I’ll go anywhere with you._

Izzie looks over at Casey as they walk off the track. “You decide.” She whispers. She doesn’t care where they go as long as she doesn’t have to part from Casey just yet. She wants this feeling to last a little longer. And if possible, have another opportunity to kiss Casey tonight.

They are quiet in the car. A comfortable silence though. Izzie plays nervously with the zipper on her jacket.

Casey stops at a strip mall and parks. They get out of the car. Casey leads the way into a convenience store. She knows junk food probably isn’t good. But she’s had dinner already and it’s pretty late in the day to be having another meal. She goes to the chip aisle.

“Pick one.” Casey grins.

Izzie scrunches up her face. “You don’t care which?”

Casey shakes her head, still smiling.

Izzie picks a bag of Sun Chips and holds them awkwardly.

“Perfect.” Casey snatches the bag from her and goes to the check out. Izzie follows behind. The cashier scans the chips and tells Casey the total. She feels at her track shorts. She gasps and turns to Izzie. “I must have forgotten my wallet in my other track shorts.”

Izzie bites her lip and giggles. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out enough money to cover the chips.

“You’re a life saver.” Casey says. She takes the chips and heads outside. “Come on. Over here.” She moves toward the retaining wall at the edge of the parking lot.

“You planned that on purpose.” Izzie hurries after her, finally catching up to Casey.

“No, I didn’t.” Casey smirks at her.

“Yeah, you did. What if I didn’t have any money with me?”

Casey shrugs. “Then we wouldn’t have gotten something to eat.” She squats down and sits on the edge of the wall. “And no.” She waits for Izzie to sit. “I didn’t do it on purpose. These shorts don’t have pockets.” She pulls at the fabric. “Now do you want to do the honors or shall I?” She holds the bag towards Izzie.

Izzie rolls her eyes. “Just open them. I’m starving.”

“Okay. Okay.” Casey hurriedly opens the bag. She smiles, leaning in toward Izzie and offering her the first shot at the chips.

Izzie licks her lips and reaches in to take a chip from the bag and bring it to her mouth. She gets shy as Casey watches her eat the chip.

There’s such a weird, charged energy between them now. They sit on the wall, angled towards each other, leaning into each other. They alternate taking a chip and eating it for a little while before Casey sets the bag down between them. She makes a show of licking each one of her fingers individually. Izzie watches, mesmerized.

It’s a little awkward, the charged energy, and Izzie looks around. She knows just staring at Casey isn’t polite. It’s late, there aren’t many people out anymore. Most of the shops are going to close down soon, meaning less people will be around. Izzie feels like if she gets another opportunity here to kiss Casey, she might just take it.

“You had me so confused.” Casey says.

“Me?” Izzie can’t believe that. She sits up straighter and puts her hands on the top of the wall.

“Yeah.” Casey chuckles while she talks. “After Slurpee night. You were like it’s good to have friends. We’re friends.” Izzie rolls her eyes. “Friends. Friends. Friends.” Casey nods along with each ‘friends’. She leans towards Izzie more.

Izzie angles herself towards Casey too. “What was I supposed to say?”

“I don’t know. The truth.”

Izzie side eyes Casey. “When I told you the truth, you ran away.” She tells Casey frankly.

“True.” Casey owns up to it at least. She laughs awkwardly. “I’m sorry.” It’s said softly, so softly for Casey.

“You came around.” Izzie looks at Casey’s lips and bites her own lip. She finds Casey’s eyes before looking for her lips again and leaning in for a kiss.

“No way. Casey?”

They both jump. Casey whips her head around. “Beth.” She hops off the wall. “Hi.” She’s shocked back to life at the sight of her boyfriend’s sister. She looks back at Izzie, caught in between the two. “What’s up?”

Izzie looks at Casey and watches her reaction to this girl she doesn’t know coming up to them and startling them out of a kiss.

“Who thought that when I went out to get Dewey’s de-wormer I would run into my favorite favorite.”

_What?_

Izzie is so uncomfortable with what is happening.

“Um, Beth-“ Casey turns to Izzie. “This is Izzie.

_She’s introducing me. Smile._

Izzie tries to smile.

“Izzie, this is Beth. Evan’s sister.”

Izzie takes a big breath in. _Oh._

“Hey.” She smiles, trying to be nice. “Hey.” She shoves her hands into her coat pocket. “Hey, Beth.” She smiles around the awkwardness of it all.

“Wow, you have pretty-“ Beth eyes her. “-everything.”

_What do you say to that?_

Izzie nods. “Thanks. You too.” She glances down at the ground, trying to look and feel less awkward.

“Shoot, I gotta run into the store before it closes. Dewey’s been scooting his behind all over the carpet. I call him my scootch pooch.” Beth chuckles at her joke.

_She’s just as bad at jokes as Evan._

Izzie raises an eyebrow at her.

“Will you be here when I get back?” She asks, hopeful.

_Say no, Casey. I can’t handle more of this._

“Um, no, I don’t think so.” Casey flails. “I think we gotta-“ She looks to Izzie.

“Yeah.” They say at the same time. Izzie agrees, thumbing over her shoulder.

“Okay. Disappointed. Bye you two pretty butterflies.” Beth hurries off.

“Bye.” Casey says and turns back to Izzie.

Izzie sees the look on her face and knows what it means. A mixture of fear and unknown and the fact that reality has just crashed down around them. This thing, what they did tonight, was wrong. It was wrong to do. To kiss. But in the moment, it felt so right. Izzie mirrors the look on Casey’s face with a little added bit of shame.

Casey takes a deep breath and sighs.

“I should probably get home.” Izzie mumbles.

“Yeah. Me too.” Casey nods. “I’ll drive you.”

“No, I can walk.” Izzie doesn’t really want to sit awkwardly in the car with Casey after their encounter with Beth.

“Don’t be silly. It’s night. It’s dark. I don’t want anything to happen-“

Izzie smiles, tight-lipped.

_Casey is so good._

“Okay.”

So, they go and it’s a little awkward but not as awkward as Izzie would have thought. She sits contained in her seat with her thoughts. And Casey sits in the driver’s seat and drives. Izzie looks out the side window as they go. “Thanks for the ride.” Izzie says and looks over at Casey.

Casey won’t look at her, but she nods. “You’re welcome. Anytime.” Casey licks her lips once. And then twice. It doesn’t go unnoticed by Izzie. She wants to reach out and touch Casey. Hold her hand or something. Anything to be close to Casey. She craves to be near her. More so now than ever but she knows she can’t be.

She feels guilty about tonight. About kissing Casey. But Casey was the one who kissed her. And she knows what that means but at the same time she knows Casey probably feels just as guilty, if not more. Casey has done the one thing that she swore she would never do. Cheat, like her mom.

Izzie isn’t sure what that means though. Does that mean this was a one time thing and it’s never going to happen again? All they did was kiss. But that’s bad enough. She knows it’s no reason to justify it. But it’s not like they had sex or were sneaking around behind everyone’s backs. Behind Evan’s back. She knows there will be consequences from what happened tonight, but Izzie can’t help but feel how perfect it was.

Izzie breaths out loudly. She wants to tell Casey to dump Evan. Just do it. Rip the Band-Aid off. But she knows it’s not her place. She’s not going to make that mistake again. Just like it really wasn’t her place to tell Evan off about blowing off the ride along. Even though she was right, and he needed to hear that, and Casey wasn’t going to say it. It’s frustrating but at the end of the day Izzie knows she can’t tell Casey what to do.

“I’ll see you at school?” Izzie asks. She doesn’t want Casey to do the whole avoiding her thing again.

“Yeah.”

Izzie breathes a sigh of relief. “Okay. Good night.” She reaches for the door handle.

“Wait.” Casey stops her.

Izzie turns to look at Casey once more.

“I, um, I-“ Casey stutters. “Good night.” Casey sighs and looks away from Izzie.

Izzie nods and gets out of the car. She tries to not reveal her emotions as she walks into the apartment. Her mother is still awake. She nods over at her mom. Her mother nods back. She’s been attentive since her time in jail. That’s a positive in Izzie’s mind, but she’s always leery. At any moment, her mom could disappear and get caught up in the drug world again. It’s always a delicate line.

“Are you alright?”

It must be written on Izzie’s face though.

Izzie nods. “It’s been a long day.” She sums up. It’s been a long couple of hours. Emotionally, she’s been through the wringer. That’s mostly what she’s feeling now. Moving forward, Izzie is going to have to wrap her head around everything. It’s too soon to reflect on the evening. Too fresh. But she’s hopeful about the future. Earlier in the day, Izzie wasn’t.


	18. Chapter 18

At school, Izzie meets Casey at her locker in the morning. “Hey.”

“Hi.” Casey looks over and takes in Izzie’s presence, looking her up and down. She doesn’t look any different though Casey can feel a difference in Izzie. She’s not sure what it means though.

Izzie is buzzing with nervous energy. “Will you have lunch with me?” Izzie is hopeful that they can at the very least get back to being friends and spending time together and that Casey won’t avoid her anymore.

The left side of Casey’s mouth lifts into a small smile. “Sure.”

“Okay, great. I’m going to head to class.” Izzie has lots of questions that she wants Casey to answer but now is not the time.

Neither is at lunch. She’d prefer if they were alone and that there wasn’t any possibility for anyone to interrupt them.

Izzie sits with her lunch. Casey sits next to her. They share shy smiles as they consumer their food. The silence isn’t uncomfortable. Izzie thinks maybe they can sit with it and prevail. She wants to know what’s going through Casey’s head though. Izzie knows she should be patient but sometimes it’s hard.

* * *

Izzie’s patience runs out. She’s not paying any attention during Chemistry class. How can she with Casey sitting right next to her? She looks over at Casey multiple times, but Casey is listening to the teacher and ignoring her. Which is what she should be doing.

So, she exhales and leans over. Invading Casey’s space, writing in her notebook three question marks. That gets Casey’s attention and she finally looks over at her.

Izzie watches as Casey starts to write something next to her question marks. It’s another question mark. Izzie looks from the notebook to Casey trying to get her attention but Casey stares straight ahead. So, Izzie leans over again to write ‘what’s up with’ and then an arrow pointing at each of them. She’s satisfied with herself at this.

She looks over though and Casey shrugs lightly. Izzie’s face falls. _Really Casey?_

Izzie leans over again with her face scrunched up in confusion. How can Casey not know after that kiss they had? How can Casey not know? She writes ‘4 real?’ and looks at Casey imploring her to reply.

She sees Casey write something. A long sentence so she waits, pretending to pay attention. The last thing Izzie needs right now is the teacher finding out that they aren’t paying attention and are writing notes in class and coming over to see what’s going on. She would be mortified.

‘Don’t know yet gotta talk 2 Evan. Don’t want to be like’

Izzie watches as Casey draws a witch on a broom. She smiles, trying not to laugh, and pinches her lips together. ‘Elsa?’ She knows this but needs to write it as well.

Casey finally looks at her and nods. Izzie smiles. _Of course._

She gets it now. Casey doesn’t want to be her mom. She doesn’t want to cheat on Evan with Izzie. She doesn’t want to sneak around behind his back. She doesn’t want to put anyone through that drama.

Izzie pretends to pay attention again. Her thoughts are on everything that’s happening between her and Casey though instead of whatever their teacher is saying.

At the end of class, Izzie is packing her stuff into her backpack. “I’ll see you at practice, Newton.” It feels good to call her Newton again. She sees Casey smile as Izzie is walking away from her.

* * *

They have practice. And it’s just practice until the end.

“Izzie?” Casey calls out and runs up to Izzie.

“What’s up?”

Casey looks down at their feet as a few of their teammates pass by them. Izzie waits.

“I’m going to talk to Evan tonight.”

Izzie hums and nods.

“I don’t want to.” She looks down again.

_Oh._

“But I know I have to.” Casey finds Izzie eyes and nods.

Izzie understands what she’s not saying. She nods along. Evan is a nice guy, he’s a good guy, he’s been a good guy, even when Izzie was a jerk to him at the dinner party. He’s sweet and tries to be funny. Evan really has some good qualities. Izzie knows this. And she knows Casey loves him. She knows it’s going to be hard.

“Let me know if you want to talk about it, after.” She puts her friend hat on.

Casey nods. “Thanks.”

They dance around each other. Literally. Trying to step in the same direction before both trying to go in the other direction. Izzie laughs. “You go first, Newton. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Casey nods and steps past Izzie. Izzie shakes her head lightly at the mix up. She adjusts her bag over her shoulder at walks off.

Izzie sits at home that night waiting for a call or text that never comes.

She really thought Casey would want to talk about her talk with Evan. She wonders and worries about what is happening. The assumption is that Casey was going to break up with Evan, but Izzie doesn’t know what is actually happening.

“If you hold that phone any tighter, you’re going to crush it.”

Izzie looks over and scowls at her mother but sets the phone down, stretching her stiff hand before rubbing the sweatiness off on her pants.

Izzie goes to bed disappointed.

* * *

When Izzie gets to Casey’s locker the next morning, she knows it’s not good. The look on Casey’s face, her entire body language, screams that she’s hurting.

“Hey.”

Casey smiles but it doesn’t reach its usual happiness. “Hi.” Casey mouths, no sound even coming out.

“Aww, come here.” Izzie pulls Casey into a hug.

“I broke up with Evan.” Casey whispers.

Izzie just nods and rubs Casey’s back.

They stay connected in an embrace for probably a full minute. “Thanks.” Casey mumbles and separates. “Did you want to come over after school? Hang out?” Casey wonders aloud. “If you have to watch your siblings, it’s alright. I know it’s last minute.”

Izzie nods. “I’ll call my mom and see if she’ll be around.” Izzie knows she should be.

The day goes much like the one before. A shared closeness but also a shared shyness and awkwardness. They seem to go hand in hand.

Mrs. Gardner welcomes Izzie back into the house with a smile and a nod.

Casey sees this and warns her. “Don’t say anything, mom.”

Izzie giggles as she follows Casey up the stairs.

She takes her math book out of her backpack and sets it on the corner of the bed. Izzie doesn’t have much homework today. Some reading to do and some math problems. Izzie sits down on the end of the bed and plows through her math homework. She glances at Casey every couple of minutes over at the head of the bed to make sure that she is alright and to make sure that she’s still there. Which is stupid but after all the time that Casey avoided her; Izzie can’t help but feel like she could disappear at any moment.

Casey is serious about her homework. Whether it’s to avoid Izzie or if she’s actually that serious about it, Izzie doesn’t know. Izzie finishes the math. She lays down on the bed now that she doesn’t have to do any writing and takes out her study sheet and reads it over once. That’s good enough for now. She’ll read it again later.

Now she has to wait for Casey to finish studying. Izzie plays with her hair for a few minutes. She goes downstairs to say hi to Mrs. Gardner and get something to drink. She comes back upstairs and steals a pillow from Casey.

“Hey.” Casey says without much bite to it.

Izzie just grins and lays down again. “I said hi to your mom.”

Casey just hums.

“She was excited to see me.” Izzie relishes in the fact that Casey’s mom likes her so much.

Casey doesn’t have anything to say about that. Not even a hum.

Izzie stares at her. The focus on Casey’s face as she studies, the concentration, the pen in her hand as she goes over her study guide. Izzie sticks her foot out, plopping it down on top of the study guide to mess with Casey.

“Seriously?” Casey mumbles and glares at her.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you there.” Izzie jokes. She jabs her toes into Casey’s chest. Why? She doesn’t know. Just to get a little bit of a laugh out of Casey. She’s successful so it doesn’t matter.

“Come on.” Casey whines. She grabs Izzie’s ankle. “Let me study.” She throws Izzie leg to the side. Casey turns serious again. “I’m not going to be able to get anything done this weekend so-“ She looks down at her study guide again.

Since Casey brought it up. “You nervous about Regionals?” Izzie asks softly. It’s going to be a big deal for them. It would be silly not to be nervous.

Casey looks up, over at Izzie. She nods. “Yeah.” It’s clipped. “Of course.”

Izzie knows it’s more than that.

“But I’m mostly just-“ Casey fights with her emotions.

Izzie knows this, too. Casey’s been going through a lot. They both have, really. Izzie looks up at the ceiling and mentions the elephant in the room. “Sad about Evan.”

Casey gives her a pointed look.

Izzie readjusts on the bed. “Look. We’re friends first. You can talk to me about it if you want.”

“I know.” Casey shakes her head. “Not about this.”

That’s understandable.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m biased anyway.” Izzie thinks she’d probably not be a very good sounding board when it comes to Casey’s feelings about Evan. She smiles softly over at Casey.

Casey smiles back, trying not to.

Izzie lets Casey study after that until she’s finished.

She’s waited patiently for Casey to get done with her homework. Izzie sits in front of Casey, her legs crossed underneath her, pretzel style. “Let’s do something fun.” She wants to cheer Casey up and get her mind off of Evan.

Casey raises an eyebrow. “Like?”

“Come on.” Izzie pats at Casey’s shins, wanting her to sit the same way. “Favorite things. You have to answer with the first thing that comes to mind.”

Casey nods and moves to mirror Izzie’s position.

“I’ll start.” Izzie thinks of her first question. “Favorite season?”

Casey hums. “Summer. No school.” Izzie laughs. “What about you?”

“Fall. I think.” Izzie likes summer but there’s just something so endearing about fall that Izzie enjoys.

“Favorite candy?” Casey asks.

Izzie smiles. “You know that one.”

Casey rolls her eyes. “I need better questions.”

“Favorite song?” Izzie asks.

“Oh, that’s a hard one. My mom says I have awful song taste. I think she’s just old.” Izzie laughs. “I don’t know. That song with the violins at the beginning. Sometime Around Midnight.” Maybe it has more to do with her current mood than her favorite song but it’s still a very good song.

“I don’t think I know that one.” Izzie comments.

“I’ll show you sometime. Or you know, not show you but hear you, listen you.” Casey wrinkles up her nose trying to figure out the best way to say it.

“That doesn’t make sense.” Izzie laughs. “Okay.”

“I go on YouTube and listen to all these different song from years ago. They’re probably better than what’s popular right now.” Casey explains.

Izzie moves her hands from her lap to wrap them around Casey’s ankles. “I didn’t ask for you to explain. I just wanted to know a song that you really like. It doesn’t matter if it a new song or not. I know there’s lots of great older songs.”

Casey bites her lip. “Favorite movie?”

“Mean Girls.

“Ooh, good one.” Casey grins.

“Yeah, I aspired to be Regina George when a was younger.”

“When you were younger?” Casey laughs and slaps Izzie’s knee, she leaves her hand there.

Izzie smiles, her dimples showing. “A couple of years ago. I wanted to be mean to the freshmen and the new kids at Clayton. Specifically, the ones on the track team.”

“I see one problem with that.” Casey grins and leans forward.

“What?” Izzie asks.

“You’re too nice to be a mean girl.”

Izzie rolls her eyes. “I’m only nice now. I was so mean before.”

“Before what?”

“Before you showed up.” Izzie bites her lip.

Casey laughs. “So what, I activated your nice button or something?”

Izzie nods and leans forward, kissing Casey. It’s just a quick exchange of lips, a peck. Izzie pulls back, looking to Casey to make sure she is okay with this. Casey gives her a small nod. Izzie reaches up with her right hand, slipping it behind Casey’s ear. Her thumb stroking over the ear, settling on her cheek before she leans in again to connect their lips. Casey hums and smiles against Izzie’s lips. Izzie giggles and rests her forehead against Casey’s.

“This feels-“ Izzie whispers.

“Yeah.” Casey agrees.

Izzie sighs. “-so right.”

“Yeah.” Casey whispers.

Izzie giggles nervously. “Now what?”

“I don’t know.”

Izzie smirks. “Don’t suggest eating again.”

Casey laughs, flopping back onto the mattress and throwing her arms above her head. “That was so lame, but I didn’t want to- I didn’t want you to just leave after that.”

“I know.” Izzie mumbles. “I should probably go home now though. Big weekend ahead.”

Casey sighs. “Yeah.” She pushes herself up onto her elbows. “I’ll walk you out.”

Izzie heads down the stairs with Casey following right behind her. Casey passes her up on the short journey from the bottom of the stairs to the door. She opens the door for Izzie. Izzie smiles about that.

_Casey just opened the door for me._

“Okay, bye.”

She grins like a fool at Casey. “Bye.”

They go in for a hug.

_Casey gives the best hugs but-_

Izzie pulls away. She looks over at Casey, tentatively, nervously. Casey looks back at her the same. Like two magnets drawn to each other they both lean in, awkwardly pressing their lips together. Izzie pulls back smiling and giggling over at Casey. She walks out the door before she can embarrass herself any further.

Izzie does a fist pump as she walks to the car. As awkward as it is, Izzie feels, in addition to that, a bit giddy.

The weird mix of emotions in her is confusing. It feels so right, kissing Casey. Somehow, Izzie didn’t think it would feel like that. All she knew, though, previous to kissing Casey was kissing Nate. And this is far different. Very very different. Izzie thought that maybe kissing was just something that you did. She knew logically there was more to it than that. But kissing Nate, she never felt anything. She didn’t know that it was supposedly to feel a certain way or that that way would only be amplified by her feelings. Or would only increase them. Izzie didn’t think that was possible. To feel more for Casey than what she did. But kissing her, Izzie’s feelings have only increased.

At the same time, there’s that little voice in her head that tells her not to get carried away. Not to go crazy. Not to take things too far. Izzie thinks maybe it’s doubt. It’s not that she doubts Casey. It’s herself she doubts.

Now that her feelings have been validated, they somehow feel too big, too real, and too scary. Izzie didn’t think she’d ever be here. She yearned and pined and waited. For months and months and months. And now that the possibility to ‘have’ Casey, to be able to kiss her, is upon her it feels too much, too fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little shorter than most updates. It's the set up for the next part. And the next part is all sorts of angsty. 
> 
> There's only two more updates after this one that bring it to the end of season 3. I have more prepared for after that for post season 3. the end of track season and the school year, what happens with izzie's mom, and the summer before their senior year. i have over 32000 words written so far for that. no big deal right?


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say this here. I think the show did Izzie a disservice. And it made her look like an asshole (as many people have complained about). I understand what they were trying to do. But it seems like they didn’t have enough time and that it was rushed. It was like a mini storyline crammed into two episodes at the end of the season that they had to wrap up quickly. It’s pretty clear to me, that they wanted to show her fears and anxieties about being public with Casey and about her internalized homophobia. What they didn’t do very well was explain her actions and why she did the things she did. That being said, I think it was a stretch to have her kiss some random guy at the party. They could have had her do some other self-destructive behavior but that wasn’t the right thing to do, in my opinion, it didn’t make sense. So, that’s in here and not glossed over but there is a much more in depth explanation for her actions in the following chapters that I have. Cue the angst.

Penelope asks Izzie to sit with her on the bus ride to Regionals. She can’t say no but she would rather sit with Casey. They sit a few rows back and on the opposite side from Casey.

Izzie is bombarded by people she knows outside the hotel when the bus arrives. Competition from other schools, people she knows through track, former teammates at her old school. She says hi to everyone that she runs into.

Izzie finally makes it to the door of the hotel, her teal backpack on her shoulder. She looks over said shoulder to make sure Casey is following her. Izzie sits down on the couch as they wait for the rooms to be figured out by the coach.

“I just hugged or high-fived at least sixty-three people on the way in.” Casey sits next to her. “Do you have any hand sanitizer?” Gotta stay healthy, can’t get sick before a competition.

“Yeah, nerd.” Casey goes for her backpack. “I think Elsa might’ve put some in here.”

Casey hands her the hand sanitizer. “Thank you.” Izzie sprays some on her hands and starts rubbing them together.

Casey looks in the backpack to see what else Elsa might’ve put in there. Izzie sees the notecard that Casey pulls from her backpack. “Look what Sam made me.”

Izzie leans over and looks down at the artwork. It’s a good drawing. _Penguins._ She knows Sam likes penguins, but what does that have to do with Casey?

“Who’s Sphen and Magic?” Izzie feels like she’s missing something.

“Gay penguins.” Casey says and glances at Izzie. “In Australia.” Casey marvels at what Sam did.

Izzie, though, starts to wonder what is happening here.

“He told me about them last night.” Casey shakes her head. She really can’t believe Sam did this for her.

“Wait.” Izzie stutters as her thoughts catch up to her. “Did you tell Sam about us?” She can’t believe Casey would betray her trust by telling Sam. What they have is supposed to be between them only. Izzie eyes her in confusion and doubt.

“Not really.”

_What does that mean?_

“Not really?” Izzie scoffs.

“Well, I didn’t tell him anything. He just- he saw us- at the door.” Casey explains. “So.” She shrugs.

Izzie panics. No one is supposed to see them.

“What would be the big deal?” Casey asks. “He’s my brother.”

“The big deal-“ Izzie emphasizes the word deal. “Is I don’t feel like broadcasting my personal business to the world.” She looks to Casey in exasperation.

“Okay. Geez.” Casey retreats.

“No, it’s not okay.” Izzie’s heart races. She didn’t mean to snap at Casey like that. She glances over at Casey, willing her to understand.

_Please understand this._

She looks past Casey and spots someone she recognizes. “There’s Claire.” The hurt and confusion on Casey’s face is too much to handle right now. “I’m gonna go say hi.” Izzie gets up and leaves Casey siting on the couch.

Izzie needs a little time to reflect. She knows she shouldn’t have blown up on Casey like that. What Sam did, the drawing was actually really cute and thoughtful. She’ll have to tell him the next time she sees him. But with that, comes acknowledging that Sam knows about her and Casey. And has seen them kiss. Izzie doesn’t know if she’s ready for that.

Coach gives them the keys to their rooms. It’s going to be awkward now rooming with Casey. She throws her backpack in the room and goes to find Penelope. She’s not ready to face and apologize to Casey even though she knows she has to.

After about an hour, Izzie comes back to the room. She walks in and spots Casey sitting on the bed first. “Hey.” She focuses on Casey. And then Sharice.

“Can we talk?” Izzie looks hopefully at Casey. She hopes Casey isn’t mad at her. She flexes her hands nervously at her sides. It’s like pure torture.

“I’m gonna go.” Sharice gets up. “I have dinner with the team.”

“Oh, say hi to them for me.”

“You can tell them yourself.” Sharice stands next to Izzie.

Izzie watches her talk.

“There is a party tonight. In Tonya’s room.” She addresses Casey but then turns to Izzie. “You’re invited too. Ya know, if you’re cool.”

Izzie looks to Casey. _What did you tell her about me?_

Sharice steps past Izzie and Izzie waits until she’s gone. She hops up on the end of the bed. “I’m sorry.” She worries Casey won’t forgive her.

Casey glances over, an unreadable expression on her face, before looking away with a frustrated sigh.

Izzie knows a simple ‘I’m sorry’ won’t suffice. “This is just all so new, ya know.” She looks over and hopes that Casey knows.

Casey starts to nod. “Yeah. It is.” At least Casey will look at her now. But she’s waiting for Izzie to say more.

“And I don’t know what any of this means.” She shrugs. “Or who I am.”

“Look.” Casey says with authority. “I’m confused too.”

“I know.” Izzie doesn’t know what else to say though. “I just think that I need to take it slow.” That will help. She gets a nod out of Casey, so that’s good. Izzie smirks. “But it was really nice hanging out in your room the other night.” That’s what she wants. To be able to hang out with Casey and not have any pressure to jump into the deep end.

The shy smile and duck of Casey’s head tells her that Casey thought it was really nice too. “And i- really like hanging out.” She giggles. Izzie relishes the time she gets to spend alone with Casey.

Izzie gets a little chuckle out of Casey at that. “Me too.”

She bites her lip as Casey glances over shyly. “Do you maybe want to go to that party later?” Her way of making amends.

“Um.” Casey makes a show of pretending to think about it. “Sure.”

“Okay.” Izzie nods, reassured. She puts her hands down on the mattress in front of her so she’s on her hands and knees. “Do you want to go get something to eat?”

Casey nods.

“Then we can come back and get ready for the party.” Izzie hops off the bed. She waits for Casey to catch up so they can walk together.

Izzie is going through the clothes she brought along. “What should I wear?” Izzie asks. She wants to know what Casey wants to see her in, but obviously doesn’t form the question that way. “I was thinking about this skirt but what about a top.”

“You brought a skirt to a track meet?” Casey deadpans.

Izzie smiles and shrugs.

Casey rolls her eyes. “Yeah, wear that.” She nods at the skirt.

“Okay, but what about the top?” Izzie bites her lip.

“What else ya got?” Casey looks at Izzie’s bag.

Izzie starts pulling out clothes. Four different shirts, two pairs or shorts, a pair of pants.

“What else you got in there, Mary Poppins?” Casey scoffs. “It’s one night. You packed like we’re staying a week.”

Izzie just smiles at Casey and shrugs.

“Alright.” Casey comes over and fingers all the shirts. “This one.” She taps at the white sweatshirt. “Lady in white.”

Izzie swallows thickly. There’s something about Casey picking out her outfit that makes her nervous. “What about you?” She whispers, chancing a look at Casey.

“Oh.” Casey seems surprised that Izzie asked. “I was just going to wear a shirt and shorts. Nothing special.”

_Does she think my outfit is special?_

“Let me see.” Izzie says.

Casey pulls out the black shorts and the black crop top.

_Black and white_.

“You need some color.” Izzie states.

“Why?” Casey wrinkles up her nose. “You’re not wearing any color.”

“White is a color.” Izzie smirks.

“So is black.” Casey argues.

“Technically, black is not a color. It’s a shade. It’s the absence of light.” Izzie smirks.

Casey scrunches up her face. “Nerd.”

Izzie sighs and crosses her arms over her chest. “What else did you bring?”

Casey smiles, wide. “Pajamas.”

Izzie laughs at Casey’s joke. Casey takes two other shirts out of her bag. Izzie knows what needs to happen. “Okay. Wear the black.” She picks up the red button down. She rubs her fingers over the collar. She thinks back to the day at the thrift store. “And this over it.” She says softly holding the shirt out to Casey.

They share a look as Casey takes the shirt. Both thinking back to the thrift store. She goes in the bathroom to change.

Casey comes out, holding her arms out at her side. “Do you approve?” She grins like a fool.

Does Izzie ever. She goes over to Casey, she pinches her index finger and thumb along the row of buttons, running them down the length of the open shirt. She leans into Casey, pushing up onto her tiptoes, and pressing a soft kiss to Casey’s lips. She pulls back to see Casey chasing after her lips, looking for more. Izzie giggles. “I’ll change, then we can go.”

The music is loud. They can hear it from down the hall. Casey follows Izzie into the room. Izzie looks around the room. “I don’t know, Newton.” Izzie sighs. “Looks like enemy territory.” She turns to Casey.

“Tonight we dance with them. Tomorrow we crush them.” Casey says enthusiastically.

Izzie nods even though she’s not sure. She takes another look at the room. “It does look kinda fun.” She giggles nervously.

Casey turns to her. “Oh, shoot. I forgot you hate fun though.” She points at Izzie.

Izzie rolls her eyes.

“So maybe let’s go back to the room and study something, anything.”

She knows what Casey is doing. Other than making fun of her, of course. And the idea of going back to the room is tempting, but Izzie’s not ready for that.

“Let’s go.” Izzie takes Casey’s hand and drags her into the party.

They dance for a while. And it is fun. Even Izzie will admit that. There are a few people that both of them know and a lot of Casey’s friends from Newton that Izzie gets to dance with and meet.

Casey comes back over after dancing with Sharice. She dances across from Izzie. Izzie grins at the silly dance moves that Casey has. Casey starts dancing around her. _Where’s she going?_ Izzie smiles and dances along. Casey dances back around to be in front of her again. Casey comes in closer. Or maybe it’s Izzie that moves in to be closer to Casey. Like magnets.

Either way, Izzie is lost in the song, lost in her dancing, lost in Casey. With Casey so close to her Izzie forgets where she is for a moment. She looks into Casey’s eyes as they dance, flickering down to her lips before returning to those eyes again.

Casey gets so close that when she moves Izzie feels her nose brush against her forehead. Casey tilts her head to the side and leans in. Izzie feels a hand on her hip, and she snaps out of it.

Izzie takes a step back. “What are you doing?” She panics.

“Nothing.” Casey is flabbergasted. “I’m- I’m dancing.”

“We talked about this.” She stares Casey down. “I don’t need to advertise my personal business to the world.” _Or the people in this room._ Especially since they are going to be the competition tomorrow and she or Casey know a good number of them personally.

“I’m not trying-“

Izzie cuts her off. “I just-“ Izzie needs a moment to gather herself, she thinks. It’s too much for her. “-I need water.” She looks Casey up and down before walking away. Again, not being able to stand that hurt look on Casey’s face. She hates that she’s the one who keeps putting it there. She hates herself for that.

Izzie goes off to get her water. There’s a guy at the water table that starts talking to her. They talk for a few minutes. Izzie looks out and Casey seems to be having fun dancing with her friends.

He says something funny, Izzie thinks. She doesn’t hear it, but she thinks it’s supposed to be funny. Izzie gives him a fake laugh.

He leans in and compliments her outfit. Izzie giggles nervously, leaning in towards him. She wraps an arm around his neck, he kisses her lips. Then there’s another meeting of their lips and another and another.

It’s not until his hips press into her that Izzie realizes what is happening. She pulls away from him. She sees the confusion on his face. The disappointment.

Izzie leaves quickly. She slips out the door. It’s right there. She leans against the wall in the hallway and closes her eyes.

“What was that?” It’s the guy. He’s followed her. She doesn’t want this.

“Nothing. I have to go.” She pushes off the wall.

“But-?”

Izzie leaves him hanging. She runs her hands through her hair, freaking out. Her heart races in her chest, her palms sweaty.

_I hope Casey didn’t see that._

It’s the only thought that plays in her head over and over all the way back to her room, their room. “Shit.” She mumbles under her breath.

She can’t go back to that party. Casey’s going to wonder where she went. Izzie decides to just stay in the room and wait for Casey to come back. She knows she’s got some explaining to do.

* * *

Izzie wakes up in the morning and Casey’s stuff is gone from her bed. She must have come to get it whiles she was asleep. She figures Casey probably stayed with one of their teammates or maybe Sharice overnight.

She knows she deserves it. What Izzie did was shitty. But she was in panic mode. After dancing all up on Casey with all the people around them; Izzie didn’t want anyone in the room to get the wrong impression. She didn’t want anyone saying anything about how they saw Casey and Izzie dancing. She knows what it looks like and she knows what other people will think. And Izzie isn’t okay with that.

And that guy. Well, she needed to cleanse the room. She needed people to believe that she was interested in him. Even though she wasn’t. Even though it was an act. And she kissed him because she didn’t want anyone to think she was gay. Even though she knows she probably is.

Izzie didn’t sleep well, and she didn’t get to talk to Casey about pulling away from her while they were dancing. She just needs to explain. She needs to be able to say something to Casey about it. But she doesn’t see Casey at breakfast either. Not that Izzie would bring up what happened in a room full of people over breakfast.

Izzie eats and goes to get on the bus as soon as she’s done. She sits in the back, hunches down in her seat, and pulls her hoodie on around her face. It’s another fifteen minutes before everyone else is on the bus.

The drive to the track isn’t that long. It’s a crowded place. The team sets up their tent on the grass on the infield. Izzie watches Casey stay as far away from her as possible. She doesn’t blame her.

Izzie goes for a warmup run and gets all stretched out. She’s standing at the tent waiting for a water when she spots Casey stretching. She tilts her head to the side and watches as Casey stretch. Casey is busy looking around at the competition but that doesn’t matter to Izzie right now. She likes that Casey’s hair is put up, braided. She watches Casey eye two girls from a competing school before she looks the other direction. And then looks straight ahead, right at Izzie.

The angry look on Casey’s face is the first thing she notices. But she tries anyway. Izzie waves and tries to smile. Casey glares at her before getting up, turning, and walking in the opposite direction. Izzie frowns. _Shit._ It’s worse than she thought. She knows she really messed up, but Casey didn’t even look upset she just looked furious.

A few minutes later, they are at the starting line. Izzie tries to get loose but has never felt stiffer. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knows this run isn’t going to go well. She knows that will likely have future implications. But she thinks as long as she doesn’t fall flat on her face, she’ll be alright.

She glances over at Casey a couple lanes away. She still looks furious. Focused and furious.

The competitors all get into position to start. Feet in the blocks. Hands on the track surface, millimeters behind the starting line. Everyone gets set. And then the gun goes off.

Izzie feels like she gets a good start though the girl to her right is ahead of her. She runs down the track and crosses the finish line. A few girls finish ahead of her. Including Casey, who wins the race. It’s not Izzie’s best showing.

All their Clayton teammates run out on the track to hug Casey. Even her coach from Newton is out there. Izzie stands there and watches them celebrate. It’s well deserved. Sharice comes in to congratulate Casey yelling. “Yes. Yes. Yes.”

Izzie goes over to congratulate her when the craziness dies down a little. “You looked good out there, Newton.”

Casey turns around to face her. She doesn’t say anything though. With a quick frustrated look Casey turns and walks away. Sharice gives Izzie a death glare before following after Casey.

Izzie stumbles around, feeling stupid.

_Well, that was a disaster._

Izzie walks around the infield of the track for a few minutes. Mostly to cool off and keep the legs loose. But a little bit because she doesn’t know what else to do.

She has a second race, but that doesn’t go much better. After she’s finished, she goes to the concession stand to get something to eat. Izzie sits by herself in the shade that the team tent provides. It’s a lonely existence but she has a good view of the pole vault competition.

When the day is finished the team gets on the bus and notices that Casey is missing. She knows what that means. She probably went home with her parents instead of the team.


End file.
